Author: Bardees

How to Overcome Note Overwhelm in 10 Simple Steps

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A good chunk of my weekly review goes to processing my handwritten notes, and this is how I do it: 

  1. During the week, I collect notes in one place. I write any task, idea, or insight on the daily pages in my planner. 
  2. As the week goes by, I process some tasks by crossing off done items.  
  3. At the start of the new week, during the weekly review, I read all my notes from the past week. 
  4. I cross off done tasks. 
  5. I do tasks I wrote that need a very short time, like sending a text or a reminder email. According to David Allen’s GTD, these actions take less than 2 minutes. 
  6. I add digital reminders to my task app with due dates where applicable. 
  7. I copy insights or good ideas, like a sentence I read and wrote or a post or a podcast idea into my task app in a proper list, such as “Instagram content” or “podcast content”.  
  8. Or I copy ideas to one of my favorite note-taking apps: Google Keep and Evernote.  
  9. As I review my daily pages and process them, I cross off every single word. 
  10.  I then write in a colored marker the word “Reviewed,” which means I will never read or even visit this page in the future, and it was successfully processed.  

I genuinely enjoy this process, and it gives me an immense sense of clarity and relief. As David Allen says: “You can only feel good about what you’re not doing when you know what you’re not doing.” 

As I wrote this post, I realized that I need to work on better processing my digital notes. I do this randomly, not systematically. I need to account for processing the digital notes, perhaps every month and see which of these notes are still relevant and which need deleting or archiving.  

How to Overcome Note Overwhelm in 10 Simple Steps

How To Talk To Your Self

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I listened to a beautiful podcast episode about self-talk, where psychologist Ethan Kross shared that positive self-talk works better when addressing yourself in the third person or using “you” instead of “I,” according to his research. So, if your name is Tala, your self-talk should go like: “You got this, Tala” instead of “I got this.” This method is called distancing, and it works better for motivation.  

Also, we can try superhero self-talk. Kids can significantly benefit from this technique when performing a difficult task. They think of a favorite superhero character and then talk to themselves like this: “Super Tala, you got this; you did harder stuff than this; you can do it.” 

We might notice we are not kind in our self-talk after making a mistake, so here is the part where we need self-compassion practice. 

The one and only Kristin Neff joined the conversation with three steps to practice self-compassion, which, unlike what you would think, makes us more resilient and confident rather than lenient. 

  1. Step 1: Mindfulness: I am having a hard time. This situation hurts. 
  2. Step 2: Recognizing our shared humanity: I am not the only one experiencing a hard time. It’s part of being human. Other people feel just like me. I am not alone. 
  3. Step 3: Kindness to oneself. Practicing kindness could be placing your hand on your heart and talking gently to yourself like you would a dear friend, and we go back here to self-talk best practices; “It’s ok, dear Tala. You will be ok.” 

I found this helpful episode this morning after having a hard time in extreme Monday morning traffic that added 30 minutes to my daily drive. I really wanted to blame someone for it, but mindfulness helped me notice the intensity of my anger. I kept practicing the psychological sigh: two breaths in through the nose and a long one out of the mouth until I felt better. 

As I listened, I noticed I was missing steps 2 and 3 from the self-compassion practice in my car this morning. Alas, I will use them next time.

Will you?  

How To Talk To Your Self

Are you ready? Your fresh start awaits.

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Today, October 1st, 2023, is the start of a new week, month, and quarter.

Do you know when was the last time this happened? It happened once this year, on January 1st, which was a public holiday. And October 1st is the last time these three beginnings coincide this year.*

To make the best of your fresh start, spend time as soon as possible this week planning the habits you will track and the most important goals you want to achieve this quarter. Decide your last 90 days of the year ambitions and the problems you want to solve. A wise person in a podcast called problems “projects.” Your problems are projects you want to work on and take action steps to improve. Brilliant, no?

Do you plan to commit to the weekly reviews in the next 12 weeks?
Do you plan to track your weekly expenses and save for the holidays?
Do you plan to sleep at a reasonable hour most nights?
Do you plan to start journaling a few days a week?
Do you plan to move your body?
Do you plan to check on the people you say you care about most?

After you decide what you want to do this month:

  • Write your habits and goals on a post-it note in a visible place to keep them on top of mind because the days will get busier, and the list of goals will be forgotten if not present in your space.
  • Track your habits on a habit tracker like the one in the spark below, or create your own. You will feel discouraged sooner than expected if you do your habits without tracking them. Tracking makes you feel great about progress before the changes in your life become tangible. Track the total number of days you commit in October to beat your record in November and be realistic in December because it would be different from October and November.
  • Open your calendar and book action steps for your non-daily habits and goals, such as a coffee date with a friend, walking times, budgeting days, and weekly review days… you get the picture. It would help if you saw them in your calendar to make sure they make sense with the rest of your commitments.

One last tip: my friend told me about a journaling exercise called Remembering The Future, in which you write how you want to feel at the end of the year like it happened already, e.g., “I am so happy I finished that project, passed the exam, and improved my relationship with my mother.” Cool, huh?

So tell me, what will you say on December 31st about the year 2023?

Let’s end it with a bang, shall we?

*P.S. I learned this when I was designing my 2023 calendar. If your workweek starts on Monday, a new week and month collided once this year; on May 1st. These small facts are a lot of fun for a goal and time nerd like me!

Are you ready? Your fresh start awaits.

What Resentment Is Saying

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If a phone ring makes your spine crawl, something has to change. 

Are you worried you will receive another request from a client, manager, colleague, or partner? 

This visceral reaction could be one of the following:

  • You are on the verge of burnout. Exhausted from doing too much for too long.
  • You have feelings of resentment. 

The underlying feeling of resentment is surprise, surprise, envy, not anger, as Brene Brown revealed in her book Atlas of the Heart. You feel resentful because you want to experience what others are experiencing. 

For example, if you resent someone for resting, it’s not about being angry they are not doing their share of the workload; it’s because you want to rest.

If you resent someone for dressing nicely, it’s because you want to dress nicely too, not because you are angry they are wasting their money.

David Allen said he felt the phone call spine crawl at some point, which means his business burdened him because he felt the transaction with the calling client was unfair; his company was doing more than they were getting paid for. So, how did they solve it? They raised their prices, and the phone call dread went away. 

Where do you feel resentment in your life? 

What do you feel is missing?

What do you want more of? And less of? 

Sitting for a few minutes and writing answers will help you define where you need to ask for help.

Is it the kids’ homework, the house chores, or the monthly report? 

Do you feel resentful because other people are having alone time, seeing their friends, or traveling?

These feelings can turn into goals with action plans. They could be conversation starters with significant people about support and what it looks like for you. These feelings could be your signal to learn to say no and to ask for more.

How can you make an easy wish happen soon? 

Do you need connection time? Plan that coffee date with your friend.

Is your body aching and needs movement? Look at the week ahead week and allocate time for walking, or better yet, with a friend; health and relationship goals in one.

Resentment is a masked wish for change. Listen to it with curiosity; it is here for guidance.

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What Resentment Is Saying

A letter of gratitude to Seth Godin

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When I was playing the conversation cards game with a group of friends, The question I got was: Who has had the most significant influence on your life?

My answer was: Seth Godin.

Have I talked about Seth Godin here before? Oh yes, I have!

I started reading his daily blog in 2009, a few years late to his daily blogging practice. A year later, I ordered his currently widely-acclaimed, newly-released-at-the-time book, Linchpin. That was the first book I read by Seth. He has published 21 books.

In 2016, I ordered the Titan book by Seth Godin, a mammoth of a book that was a collectible and included his best-of blog post writings of 2010-2016. This book is still the heaviest thing I ever ordered online. 

One of the coolest stories I have about Seth is that my photo/name is on the inside cover of his book The Marketing Seminar, which was launched in 2018. Seth wrote the book based on his workshop with the same title (TMS for short) that I took part in as soon as he announced it a year before. After he wrote the book, the graduates of the first four cohorts, like me, were offered early-bird copies and were encouraged to post book reviews (which I did but no longer can find). We were included in the book cover as a thank-you for participating in TMS. A marketing genius, isn’t he?

After that, I took many workshops by Seth; The Podcasting Fellowship stands out. I took it twice, once in the summer of 2018 and then in the fall of 2019 because I did not do the work the first time. 

A few weeks later, I took the altMBA workshop with Seth Godin, the best immersive learning experience with Seth and his team of coaches. I graduated from the 35th cohort, the last cohort before COVID-19. 

In February 2020, I was about to meet him. I booked a ticket to Europe to attend his keynote speech, but when COVID hit, the conference got canceled, and I was refunded. 

His book, Your Turn, was one of the most motivational books I have ever read; I gifted a copy to a friend.

I gifted his book The Practice to my creative mastermind group in 2021. 

I loved his gift to the world, Stop Stealing Dreams that I paid someone to translate into Arabic so I would share it with my community. I then had to review the translation to make sure the translator captured what Seth meant, but I didn’t finish that because I found out that it was already translated to Arabic by someone else, so I did not publish it.

I have yet to read Seth’s latest book, The Song of Significance, but I’m sure that based on what I heard in this interview with him by fellow altMBA and podcasting course graduates, I will love it. 

What did Seth teach me?

• He convinced me I have a voice I need to use to express my opinion or make assertions as he says. He told me that our online world means we all have microphones.

• He encouraged me to create my podcast before podcasting became cool here in the Arab world. I launched it in 2020.

• He redefined creativity for me and made me believe I was creative even though I did not paint.

• He redefined what art means. It’s work, done with care, that changes people.

• He defined discipline and generosity for me by writing a daily blog post for nearly 20 years, publishing 21 books, and shipping tens of meaningful projects.

• He made me fall in love with the word Ship; “If it doesn’t ship, it doesn’t count”. Because of you, I am writing. 

Seth, thank you for everything, 

Thank you for the light bulbs, discomfort, and lessons of integrity, respect, and empathy. You taught me how to care about my work and legacy and be an indispensable professional and freelancer.  

I am forever grateful for you and hope to tell you that in person one day.  

A letter of gratitude to Seth Godin

Chapters, Seasons and Goals

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When someone calls me to say she’s been stuck in her goals lately, I first ask her: What season are you in?

But I also should ask: What chapter are you in?

Both words, chapter and season, translate the same to Arabic, which might confuse people I ask because when I say it in Arabic, it could be a weather season or a book chapter.

What I mean by this question is what life chapter you’re in.

Is it the chapter of a new job, a new baby, a new home, or a new country? Is it the chapter of in-between jobs, in-between countries, in-between homes, or the chapter of ordinary-nothing-new life? Could it be the chapter of grief or a sick partner or parent?

These life chapters affect the kind of goals you can achieve.

Sometimes, we set our goals according to the chapter we just left as if nothing changed, so our plans no longer work.

Sometimes, we treat new chapters as if they did not happen and still expect the same from ourselves, or worse, we beat ourselves up if we do not achieve the desired results.

Seasons, on the other hand, are different; seasons are cyclical, which means each season will end soon, followed by the other.

At companies, there is the closing of the annual targets season, the objectives and performance reviews season, and the new launches season, among others.

Creatively, I go through seasons of introspection, deep reflection, and writing in my morning pages, then seasons of massive creative output.
For example, last year, I wrote about writing in seasons, which works perfectly for me because it felt like the permission slip I needed to give myself.

I adapted my creative output to mother nature’s cycle and my social and family life seasons. I don’t create workshops or launch courses in the summer; I spend time with my family. Believe me, I tried and learned the hard way that taking courses in summer doesn’t work for my life and probably the same for my target audience. Back-to-school season, however, means back to goals. As Jon Acuff says, September is the slingshot month of the year, just like January.

Physically, I try to adapt my work tasks according to my internal seasons based on my menstrual cycle because I have seen the impact of listening to my body on my life in the past few years. For example, tracking my cycle, helps me define the type of tasks that will feel easier for me each week; if I were in my internal fall season (premenstrual), then editing, analysis, finishing, following up, closing open loops, and decluttering would be ideal tasks.

All these reflections were sparked from listening to an excellent podcast episode by Peter and Jen about chapters where Peter mentioned he is in the chapter of (new dad) and feels it has impacted everything he thinks about. They highlighted that it’s good to remember that chapters end if you’re in the thick of a challenging one and to appreciate the people who are still with you as you close and open life chapters.

Always check whether your ambitious goals make sense for your life chapter and season, and plan accordingly.

It is an act of self-love.

Which chapter/season are you in?

Chapters, Seasons and Goals

What Your Treasures Truly Reveal About Your Desires

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I am reading the brand new book All it Takes Is A Goal by one of my all-time favorite authors, Jon Acuff. He shared an idea I loved about how the objects we keep tell a story. We love the objects we own or want to own because they make us feel one of five feelings: 

  1. Younger 
  2. Successful 
  3. Inspired 
  4. Cool 
  5. Connected 

He used the example of his 64-pack of Crayola crayons set as an example of an object that makes him feel younger. I never considered my multiple coloring sets as objects that make me feel younger, but they do!  

He mentioned that the Lego sets he assembles and collects are objects that make him feel young but also successful because, as a kid, Jon couldn’t afford to buy a toy like The Porsche Lego set that cost $400, but now he can. 

Books are examples of objects that make him feel inspired. Don’t we all feel the same about books? He also mentioned a bowl of acorns he keeps on his desk because an acorn symbolizes potential, which is what all his excellent book is about. 

Cool is something we define, like he humorously said, “Cool is the younger cousin of successful. They’re related, but not exactly the same”. Jon feels cool when he uses his notebook on a plane to write ideas.

Objects that make Jon feel connected could be mementos from family members, like the Bible his grandfather used to have, with his scribblings all over. Objects that make you feel connected could be reminders that you belong to a community, like a Harley motorcycle. 

Jon invited us to use these feelings as filters when we buy new things and declutter our house. If an object does not invoke any of the above feelings, it may be time to let it go.

Just for fun, here are some objects I own for each category:

  1. Younger (Prettier?): My makeup, I love makeup. My stationery, I feel so excited when I go into a stationery store, and I display lots of it on my desk.
  2. Successful: Elegant shoes and blazers. My planner. My podcast microphone.
  3. Inspired: Magnet souvenirs on my fridge from our trips. My books. My home desk. Empty and full notebooks and stationery again.
  4. Cool: My glasses. My timers, all of them. My starfish key chain from Greece. The Titan collectible book by Seth Godin.
  5. Connected: The little spiritual altar on my desk. Books. The altMBA graduation coin. Printed photos (I don’t have many of those, which means a project is on the horizon) and my phone.

Did you like these object filters as much as I did? 

Can you create a list of objects you own that make you feel terrific, then categorize them according to one of these five categories?

It’s a fun self-awareness exercise. 

What Your Treasures Truly Reveal About Your Desires

Work affirmations matter

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The other day, I wrote my work affirmations as an employee on a card to read them every day as part of my work-start-up ritual:

  1. I am a leader, an initiator, an over-communicator, and a fast deliverer, and getting better and better at my job every day.
  2. I am committed to communicating with all colleagues as clearly, effectively, and professionally as possible.
  3. The more I give generously to others, the more I receive and the happier I feel.
  4. I am expanding in abundance and success and inspiring others to do the same (credit: The Big Leap)

I am sharing them to inspire you to write your own. If you feel the sentence (I am) creates cognitive dissonance when you read it because you don’t believe you are there yet, I learned from Hal Elrod to say “I am committed to….” instead.

I keep other affirmations on a card at home regarding my relationships, creativity, home, and abundance. I choose one affirmation and write it a few times as part of my morning routine to remember it throughout the day. Repeating my affirmations in writing helps me remember them more.

I also love these my-own-business affirmations that my friend and business coach Muna Shakour is teaching on her page every week:

  1. I trust myself to make the right decisions for my business.
  2. I value my time and use it mindfully and respectfully.
  3. The success (or failure) of my business is my responsibility and mine alone.
  4. My business is a reflection of me. If I want it to grow, I must grow.
  5. I have all the time I need to do the things that matter most. (I use a variation on this affirmation, I have the time, energy, and money to do the things that matter most).
  6. I am my word and I keep my promises to myself.
  7. I always bounce back stronger.

Which affirmation resonated with you the most?

Work affirmations matter

Do this before you leave for the weekend.

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1. Celebrate: 

What did you accomplish this week? Write a short list to keep track of the progress you made.

2. Leave breadcrumbs: 

Write notes to help you know exactly where you left things off so you can easily pick up work the next time, no matter when. For example, if it’s an excel sheet, take note of the sheet name you were working on, specify the analysis you need to do next, and so on. This step helps your momentum build up fast the next time you start working on this excel sheet. 

3. Check your calendar for the upcoming week:

Are there any meetings that need preparation beforehand? Any personal appointments you need to account for? Any occasions you need to consider?

5. Write a short to-do list of tasks you must check off next week:  

This list will help you save time transitioning from the eventful weekend you just had back to work mode. 

4. Book meetings you need to get done next week:

People are more likely to accept your meeting request before the weekend than within the same work week.

Happy Weekend!

Do this before you leave for the weekend.

How to Make Decluttering Fun?

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Welcome to your new beginning; this is your clean slate. Every week you get a chance to start again.

How was your first 2023 week?

I spent hours decluttering my office at work last week, and it felt so good. Whenever I thought I was done, I found myself pushing forward, looking again with fresh eyes, and tackling another area I had dismissed. I got rid of old blank agendas I saved because I would never use old agendas. I got rid of the cardboard boxes of my keyboard, stapler, and calculator, which I had kept for years. I got rid of a small dead cactus in my office and gave my mum the pot to plant something new for me. I piled used-up three-wick glass candle jars to wash and repurpose at home; half a dozen of them. I wiped my whiteboard clean to write something new this week. I took the seat pillow I have for lower back support, washed it at home, and brought it back today. I set reminders to read some paper documents I stored, like hard copies of training material. I put away my little Christmas decorations in one bag.

The same thing happened at home; I tackled my hanged clothes and the shoe area underneath, which blew up recently. I got rid of 11 pairs I have worn out or don’t love anymore. I could have gotten rid of more, like some formal shoes that I remember were cruel to my toes, but I love how they look and put them on only once or twice. I did not want to make the process harder for myself, so I decided to keep them until I could test my suspicions the next nigh-out.

I am making decluttering fun with two things:

  1. Listening to audiobooks and podcasts (Temptation bundling strategy).
  2. Taking before and after pictures and sending them to my small decluttering WhatsApp group (Community strategy).

Sending the after pictures is the way to celebrate the new identity we are building, of people mindful of their living spaces. Celebrating is key to turning a behavior into a habit, according to the book Tiny Habits. I made a lot of progress in decluttering consistency last year, and I’ll continue to do so this year until I stop treating it as a project. By the way, we send images that can be seen once to avoid polluting each other’s phone galleries (a feature in WhatsApp you might not know exists, you’re welcome).

I easily chose my outfit this morning after getting rid of those ugly metal hangers and summer clothes in the way, and I came to the office excited about not seeing stacks of paper on my desk. I’m ready to give up the old to allow the new and do my best work this year.

I wish you the same.

P.S. This post appeared first in my weekly newsletter The Sunday Spark.

How to Make Decluttering Fun?