Gatherings anxiety

While doing my weekly preview, I noticed that last week was full of gatherings with friends.

That is a sentence I have not uttered in over a year. Life is returning to the way it was before March 2020, and we are appreciating this face to face time more than ever.

With these wonderful changes, I also noticed some old anxieties creeping up on me, like my comfort with my interior design skills, and wanting to upgrade all the furniture in my house at once so that I feel I can have guests over more readily. I also noticed that I am now aware enough to call them “anxieties”, while, before, they used to be sheer dread of visits.

Realizing this, I want to gently remind myself that I don’t need to wow anyone who visits us. I will only work to have our home clean and to feel welcoming and cozy. If I want to change furniture I need to plan it financially as the investment it is, and take my time to do it.

No rush.

No urgency.

I just need to make sure everyone feels comfortable and well taken care of.

Gatherings anxiety

Fire-in-heart-setting Conversations

Have you had a fire-in-heart-setting conversation lately?

This was my experience yesterday when I met 9 members of the Sunrise Winners group I’ve been leading for a while to wake up early and build morning routines that will serve them to win their day. We spent more than 2 hours talking about our morning habits and what’s working for us versus what’s not. We gave each other action points to work on to fine tune our routines or move a goal we were trying to achieve, and we will use the group for accountability. 

The best part about this meetup was having a genuine shared interest; to wake up early to take care of ourselves before taking care of our world, be it a family, school, a career or a side business.  I left the meeting feeling a charge like no other. I told my own accountability partner about it, and she promised me she will often remind me this is one of my favorite activities to elevate my state and that connection with like-minded people pushes me forward.   

This feeling reminded me of this post I wrote before.

I wish you such flames of high energy, dear reader.

Fire-in-heart-setting Conversations

The day I lost my car key

The other day, I lost my car key.

I was leaving for work and waiting for my car to open as usual by having my key in my bag, but it did not because it was not there.

I remembered that I last used it in the evening before to get my lunch leftovers from work to offer the stray cat that visits us every day (I’m that nice, in case you didn’t know). I went back in and checked the house and the corssbody bag I was wearing in the evening- to put my phone in while walking and listening to an audiobook on my Bluetooth headset- with no luck. I looked everywhere, including the trash, where I put away the empty lunch bag. I was late to work by then, so my mother-in-law, who lives downstairs, graciously offered me her car for the day.

Later that day, after we got back home, my husband checked the security cameras for any clues about the key’s whereabouts. They proved I got in the house carrying it in my hand, which was a proud moment for security cameras’ footage being put to good use and all.

Continue reading “The day I lost my car key”
The day I lost my car key

Stop waiting

Stop waiting for them to accept you, to embrace you, to be proud of you, to love you.

Do you understand that by waiting, you are giving up the responsibility of your own happiness over to them? Don’t you get that life is too short to put happiness off? It is too precious to wait for someone to change to feel good about yourself.

They have their own issues. They can’t give you the love the way you want them to. It’s about them not you or your worth. You are worthy one hundred percent. This is what they know. This is probably their best. Maybe they even do love you but their way is so far from what you need.

Accept them. Love them. Embrace them. Forgive them. Wish them well. Don’t expect too much from them. Never miss out on life by waiting for them.

You can be happy now.

Stop waiting

RAIN ON ME

It IS going to happen.

One minute you are in the “yes, oh my God, life is amazing” zone, the next minute you are not.

You might be able to recognize the trigger that caused you to leave that sweet zone, or you just can’t put your finger on it, not right away.

You keep asking: “Why am I not there anymore? Is it the cold/hot/windy/rainy/whatever weather, is it the not enough/too many hours I slept, a morning routine step I missed? A shift in my hormone levels? What happened? And why is their behavior irritating me again?

Better questions I am learning from Tara Brach follow the RAIN acronym, from her book Radical Compassion:

Continue reading “RAIN ON ME”
RAIN ON ME

Feeling better

I loved this story from Tara Brach in her book Radical Compassion:

I like to tell students the story of a man who went to a mindfulness retreat because his therapist said he’d feel better if he learned to meditate. The retreat turned out to be a real roller coaster. Yes, there were moments of calm, but he also plunged deeply into fear, anger, and grief. The next time he saw his therapist, he told him he’d suffered horribly. “How could you have promised I’d feel better?” Nodding sagely, the therapist replied, “You are feeling better . . . you’re feeling your fear better, feeling your anger better, feeling your grief better!

Let’s keep practicing, shall we?

Feeling better

Perfectionism is misplaced creativity

In his 5-day Beyond Perfect Challenge that ended yesterday, the author Jon Acuff came up with a new definition for perfectionism that I would like to share with you today.

Perfectionism is creativity with misplaced focus on fear instead of hope.

This is how it operates:

  • It avidly tries to protect us from failure and rejection and criticism.
  • It worries we wouldn’t be able to handle them if they take place.
  • It prevents us from starting new habits because then, it believes, we need to commit forever, which is impossible because life will get in the way, so why even start?
  • It complicates our goals to make them more perfect, so they would become unachievable.
  • It does not allow us to finish what we start because then we will need to show what we made to the world and get subjected to the above-mentioned failure or criticism.
  • It makes us imagine what might go wrong, but rarely lets us imagine what if it goes right.
  • It considers any achievement less than 100% as nothing.
  • It compares our beginning to someone else’s middle.
  • It causes us to burn out by believing perfect results are attainable.
  • It makes us focus on outcomes we can’t control rather than our efforts which we can control.
  • It believes in “the hard way or no way”.


This was some of what I learned from the generous information Jon shared in the challenge and from reading his book Finish . He’s offering a course and lifetime access to the challenge here if you are interested.

Perfectionism is misplaced creativity

Professionals Show Up

This morning, in my gratitude journal, I was thankful for many positive interactions I had this week that pushed me to keep going. Having people sending me thank you notes through Instagram and email for what I am doing and sharing is amazing. Knowing that my friend recommended my name for the training I was hired for is a blessing. Seeing the number of downloads of my podcast peaking to new records is encouraging.

We don’t get positive feedback on our life’s work every day. We shouldn’t wait for positive feedback to do what we already committed to do every day. We are professionals. We are also humans, and we will always want more, and that is a recipe for disappointment.

However, when this feedback does come in, we don’t take it for granted. We cherish it and hold it dear and keep it for the rainy days when we feel we can’t go forward. We write about it in our gratitude journals and smile about it.

More importantly, we keep working the next day.

Professionals Show Up

We are getting better

My bedtime reading is usually spiritual. I’m loving my recent selection so much, it’s a book called “Help, Thanks, Wow: The Three Essential Prayers” by Anne Lamott.

I’m sharing with you a quote I read last night that perfectly aligns with the blog post I wrote in the morning.

I pray not to be such a whiny, self-obsessed baby, and give thanks that I am not quite as bad as I used to be (talk about miracles). Then something comes up, and I overreact and blame and sulk, and it feels like I haven’t made any progress at all. But it turns out I’m less of a brat than before, and I hit the reset button much sooner, shake it off and get my sense of humor back. That we and those we love have lightened up over the years is one of the most astonishing sights we will ever witness.

I feel the same. We are becoming more resilient, we are bouncing back faster after failure. This makes me hopeful and more committed to all my good daily habits.

Let’s keep waking up early, meditating, journaling and reading. Let’s keep praying and moving our bodies. Let’s keep reading our affirmations and visualizing our success.

We are getting better.

We are getting better