Month: September 2023

What Resentment Is Saying

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If a phone ring makes your spine crawl, something has to change. 

Are you worried you will receive another request from a client, manager, colleague, or partner? 

This visceral reaction could be one of the following:

  • You are on the verge of burnout. Exhausted from doing too much for too long.
  • You have feelings of resentment. 

The underlying feeling of resentment is surprise, surprise, envy, not anger, as Brene Brown revealed in her book Atlas of the Heart. You feel resentful because you want to experience what others are experiencing. 

For example, if you resent someone for resting, it’s not about being angry they are not doing their share of the workload; it’s because you want to rest.

If you resent someone for dressing nicely, it’s because you want to dress nicely too, not because you are angry they are wasting their money.

David Allen said he felt the phone call spine crawl at some point, which means his business burdened him because he felt the transaction with the calling client was unfair; his company was doing more than they were getting paid for. So, how did they solve it? They raised their prices, and the phone call dread went away. 

Where do you feel resentment in your life? 

What do you feel is missing?

What do you want more of? And less of? 

Sitting for a few minutes and writing answers will help you define where you need to ask for help.

Is it the kids’ homework, the house chores, or the monthly report? 

Do you feel resentful because other people are having alone time, seeing their friends, or traveling?

These feelings can turn into goals with action plans. They could be conversation starters with significant people about support and what it looks like for you. These feelings could be your signal to learn to say no and to ask for more.

How can you make an easy wish happen soon? 

Do you need connection time? Plan that coffee date with your friend.

Is your body aching and needs movement? Look at the week ahead week and allocate time for walking, or better yet, with a friend; health and relationship goals in one.

Resentment is a masked wish for change. Listen to it with curiosity; it is here for guidance.

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What Resentment Is Saying

A letter of gratitude to Seth Godin

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When I was playing the conversation cards game with a group of friends, The question I got was: Who has had the most significant influence on your life?

My answer was: Seth Godin.

Have I talked about Seth Godin here before? Oh yes, I have!

I started reading his daily blog in 2009, a few years late to his daily blogging practice. A year later, I ordered his currently widely-acclaimed, newly-released-at-the-time book, Linchpin. That was the first book I read by Seth. He has published 21 books.

In 2016, I ordered the Titan book by Seth Godin, a mammoth of a book that was a collectible and included his best-of blog post writings of 2010-2016. This book is still the heaviest thing I ever ordered online. 

One of the coolest stories I have about Seth is that my photo/name is on the inside cover of his book The Marketing Seminar, which was launched in 2018. Seth wrote the book based on his workshop with the same title (TMS for short) that I took part in as soon as he announced it a year before. After he wrote the book, the graduates of the first four cohorts, like me, were offered early-bird copies and were encouraged to post book reviews (which I did but no longer can find). We were included in the book cover as a thank-you for participating in TMS. A marketing genius, isn’t he?

After that, I took many workshops by Seth; The Podcasting Fellowship stands out. I took it twice, once in the summer of 2018 and then in the fall of 2019 because I did not do the work the first time. 

A few weeks later, I took the altMBA workshop with Seth Godin, the best immersive learning experience with Seth and his team of coaches. I graduated from the 35th cohort, the last cohort before COVID-19. 

In February 2020, I was about to meet him. I booked a ticket to Europe to attend his keynote speech, but when COVID hit, the conference got canceled, and I was refunded. 

His book, Your Turn, was one of the most motivational books I have ever read; I gifted a copy to a friend.

I gifted his book The Practice to my creative mastermind group in 2021. 

I loved his gift to the world, Stop Stealing Dreams that I paid someone to translate into Arabic so I would share it with my community. I then had to review the translation to make sure the translator captured what Seth meant, but I didn’t finish that because I found out that it was already translated to Arabic by someone else, so I did not publish it.

I have yet to read Seth’s latest book, The Song of Significance, but I’m sure that based on what I heard in this interview with him by fellow altMBA and podcasting course graduates, I will love it. 

What did Seth teach me?

• He convinced me I have a voice I need to use to express my opinion or make assertions as he says. He told me that our online world means we all have microphones.

• He encouraged me to create my podcast before podcasting became cool here in the Arab world. I launched it in 2020.

• He redefined creativity for me and made me believe I was creative even though I did not paint.

• He redefined what art means. It’s work, done with care, that changes people.

• He defined discipline and generosity for me by writing a daily blog post for nearly 20 years, publishing 21 books, and shipping tens of meaningful projects.

• He made me fall in love with the word Ship; “If it doesn’t ship, it doesn’t count”. Because of you, I am writing. 

Seth, thank you for everything, 

Thank you for the light bulbs, discomfort, and lessons of integrity, respect, and empathy. You taught me how to care about my work and legacy and be an indispensable professional and freelancer.  

I am forever grateful for you and hope to tell you that in person one day.  

A letter of gratitude to Seth Godin

Chapters, Seasons and Goals

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When someone calls me to say she’s been stuck in her goals lately, I first ask her: What season are you in?

But I also should ask: What chapter are you in?

Both words, chapter and season, translate the same to Arabic, which might confuse people I ask because when I say it in Arabic, it could be a weather season or a book chapter.

What I mean by this question is what life chapter you’re in.

Is it the chapter of a new job, a new baby, a new home, or a new country? Is it the chapter of in-between jobs, in-between countries, in-between homes, or the chapter of ordinary-nothing-new life? Could it be the chapter of grief or a sick partner or parent?

These life chapters affect the kind of goals you can achieve.

Sometimes, we set our goals according to the chapter we just left as if nothing changed, so our plans no longer work.

Sometimes, we treat new chapters as if they did not happen and still expect the same from ourselves, or worse, we beat ourselves up if we do not achieve the desired results.

Seasons, on the other hand, are different; seasons are cyclical, which means each season will end soon, followed by the other.

At companies, there is the closing of the annual targets season, the objectives and performance reviews season, and the new launches season, among others.

Creatively, I go through seasons of introspection, deep reflection, and writing in my morning pages, then seasons of massive creative output.
For example, last year, I wrote about writing in seasons, which works perfectly for me because it felt like the permission slip I needed to give myself.

I adapted my creative output to mother nature’s cycle and my social and family life seasons. I don’t create workshops or launch courses in the summer; I spend time with my family. Believe me, I tried and learned the hard way that taking courses in summer doesn’t work for my life and probably the same for my target audience. Back-to-school season, however, means back to goals. As Jon Acuff says, September is the slingshot month of the year, just like January.

Physically, I try to adapt my work tasks according to my internal seasons based on my menstrual cycle because I have seen the impact of listening to my body on my life in the past few years. For example, tracking my cycle, helps me define the type of tasks that will feel easier for me each week; if I were in my internal fall season (premenstrual), then editing, analysis, finishing, following up, closing open loops, and decluttering would be ideal tasks.

All these reflections were sparked from listening to an excellent podcast episode by Peter and Jen about chapters where Peter mentioned he is in the chapter of (new dad) and feels it has impacted everything he thinks about. They highlighted that it’s good to remember that chapters end if you’re in the thick of a challenging one and to appreciate the people who are still with you as you close and open life chapters.

Always check whether your ambitious goals make sense for your life chapter and season, and plan accordingly.

It is an act of self-love.

Which chapter/season are you in?

Chapters, Seasons and Goals

What Your Treasures Truly Reveal About Your Desires

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I am reading the brand new book All it Takes Is A Goal by one of my all-time favorite authors, Jon Acuff. He shared an idea I loved about how the objects we keep tell a story. We love the objects we own or want to own because they make us feel one of five feelings: 

  1. Younger 
  2. Successful 
  3. Inspired 
  4. Cool 
  5. Connected 

He used the example of his 64-pack of Crayola crayons set as an example of an object that makes him feel younger. I never considered my multiple coloring sets as objects that make me feel younger, but they do!  

He mentioned that the Lego sets he assembles and collects are objects that make him feel young but also successful because, as a kid, Jon couldn’t afford to buy a toy like The Porsche Lego set that cost $400, but now he can. 

Books are examples of objects that make him feel inspired. Don’t we all feel the same about books? He also mentioned a bowl of acorns he keeps on his desk because an acorn symbolizes potential, which is what all his excellent book is about. 

Cool is something we define, like he humorously said, “Cool is the younger cousin of successful. They’re related, but not exactly the same”. Jon feels cool when he uses his notebook on a plane to write ideas.

Objects that make Jon feel connected could be mementos from family members, like the Bible his grandfather used to have, with his scribblings all over. Objects that make you feel connected could be reminders that you belong to a community, like a Harley motorcycle. 

Jon invited us to use these feelings as filters when we buy new things and declutter our house. If an object does not invoke any of the above feelings, it may be time to let it go.

Just for fun, here are some objects I own for each category:

  1. Younger (Prettier?): My makeup, I love makeup. My stationery, I feel so excited when I go into a stationery store, and I display lots of it on my desk.
  2. Successful: Elegant shoes and blazers. My planner. My podcast microphone.
  3. Inspired: Magnet souvenirs on my fridge from our trips. My books. My home desk. Empty and full notebooks and stationery again.
  4. Cool: My glasses. My timers, all of them. My starfish key chain from Greece. The Titan collectible book by Seth Godin.
  5. Connected: The little spiritual altar on my desk. Books. The altMBA graduation coin. Printed photos (I don’t have many of those, which means a project is on the horizon) and my phone.

Did you like these object filters as much as I did? 

Can you create a list of objects you own that make you feel terrific, then categorize them according to one of these five categories?

It’s a fun self-awareness exercise. 

What Your Treasures Truly Reveal About Your Desires