How to Stay Focused and Achieve More During Your Workday

A student of mine asked me this question lately and I chose to answer it in this post for all of you to benefit.

  1. Select the most important task(s) of the day.
  • First thing in the morning, select one to three tasks that need to get done by the end of the day. 
  • Anything else you write will go under your might-do list, as Ali Abdaal calls it. 
  • You are a pro if you choose these tasks before leaving work the day before to avoid morning brain fog syndrome. 

2. Use the Time Blocking technique.

Allocate time for your selected priorities on your day’s schedule using the time blocking technique.

  • Draw three columns on a piece of paper.
  • In the first column, write the working hours in 30-minute increments, for example, 9:00-9:30, 9:30-10:00, and so on.
  • In the second column, write your planned work tasks in time blocks, for example, from 9:00-9:30 (check email) or 9:00-10:30 (run brainstorming session).
  • You need to have a mix of time blocks in the second column:
    • Focus blocks: this is when you work on your most important task of the day with no interruptions, whether they are self-started like when you check your email or phone or initiated by others like an unexpected office visit. Set a focus block for a minimum of 30 minutes to make progress and no longer than 90-120 minutes as your focus fades by the end.
    • Emails. 
    • Calls
    • Administrative work that does not require your best focus, like filling sheets.
    • Breaks to stretch your legs, take a walk around, fill up your water bottle, have a bite away from your desk if possible, or socialize with your colleagues. 

 When you get interrupted by a call, a new task from your boss, or a quick drop-by from your colleague, you will know that these interruptions are replacing something you planned to do. That’s when you use the third column.

  • Use the third column to document what actually happened in your time block. If you did what you planned, add a checkmark; if not, write down what you did instead.

The Dos and Don’ts of Focus Blocks: 

Prepare to focus by tackling three key areas; your phone, your PC, and your environment.

Your phone:

Do’s

  1. Turn on Silent mode (forever).
  2. Turn off Bluetooth so you will not receive notifications on your smartwatch if you have one.
  3. Use an app like Forest to help you leave your phone alone during your focus block.
  4. Use an app like my favorite for Android AppBlock to block attention-stealing apps during your focus blocks or working hours. 
  5. Put your phone in your drawer (it works like magic).
  6. Should I even mention that you need to turn off all your notifications? I will say it to anyone who still needs to hear it.
  7. Extra credit: Put your phone on no-disturb mode. This will allow certain people you save on a list to reach you, like your partner, your kid’s school, and your mum. When other people try to call you, they will hear the standard ringtone, but you won’t be notified until you turn off the no-disturb mode. 

Your PC:

Do’s

  1. When you start a focus block, use apps like Rescuetime /Freedom or chrome extensions like StayFocused or Leechblock to block all distracting websites.
  2. Better yet, close your web browser and don’t open it until your focus block ends. Unless…
  3. Unless you are listening to focus music on your browser, in which case, I recommend you would listen to binaural music like this or my favorite go-to music (Brain FM) that I have been using since 2019.
  4. Close your desktop email application.
  5. You can use your shared digital calendar to block your focus sessions, so you will not receive meeting requests that collide with them.

Don’ts

  1. Don’t listen to music with lyrics.
  2. Don’t listen to instrumental music that might get you too emotional.

Your Environment:

Do’s

  1. Invest in noise cancellation headsets like these, or wait until you get a good deal on them (like I did last year). I first used a cheaper model called Cowin E7 that is not currently on sale. It served me for two good years until its color changed with time.
  2. Invest in a visual timer that will help you stay focused. Use it to work on tedious tasks for a limited time, say 10 minutes?
  3. You could create a sign or a little chalkboard to signal you can’t talk now. Once on a deadline, I could not afford to get interrupted, so I wrote on my little chalkboard: “Come back after 2 PM, please”. It was perfect. Two things would happen when you use a sign; some people find a way to solve their issue, or if they really need you, they will show up at 2 PM for your support. 

To turn focus blocks into a habit:

  1. Track your focus blocks. Try to achieve a certain number of focus blocks, like four daily sessions, where the minimum session is 30 minutes.
  2. Reward yourself with a little celebration after each focus block, such as saying “way to go!” to yourself. This little celebration is called Shine.
  3. Make it a bit painful to get distracted. For example, decide that you will have to start over if you touch your phone or look at your email during a focus block.
  4. Practice saying “not now, come back at ()” when you get interrupted by a non-urgent request.
  5. Whenever you think of something you need the answer to right away, or so your brain thinks, write it down on a list to check later, after your block. I call it the no-distraction list.

P.S. I am grateful to Cal Newport and Scott Young for what they taught me about focus in their work and course Life of Focus.

It’s your turn; tell me what was the most valuable tip for you that you will apply right away?

How to Stay Focused and Achieve More During Your Workday

You Need Shine to Make Habits Stick

Teaching small groups on habits lately have taught me that learning to make our habits very easy is one of the most challenging parts for the attendees to implement. I don’t blame them. We have been conditioned to “go big or go home” that going small is not comfortable for us because our brains won’t consider small as a win. 

That’s why BJ Fogg, in his book Tiny Habits, stresses the importance of not only making the desired behaviors easy, but also celebrating right after we complete them so they turn into habits. He argues, controversially so, that behaviors turn into habits faster by immediate positive emotions accompanying them rather than by repetition. 

Celebrating directly after we wipe countertops or one countertop, with a broad smile or by applauding ourselves or doing a little jump or whatever works for us, is what BJ Fogg calls a Shine moment. This positive, immediate and uncommon rush of feelings is the small reward that wires the new habit faster into our brain, making us want to repeat it the next time until the behavior becomes automatic. 

I’ve been implementing this strategy, and it’s been quite a success.

Try it out. 

You Need Shine to Make Habits Stick

Is it the right time?

Years ago, I used to buy courses to do in summer and then feel bad about not finishing them. I thought that I was the kind of person who did not finish what she had started.

As I became more reflective and also self-forgiving, I knew better. I realized that, in most cases, it was all about timing. 

Choosing the right time to do courses matters a lot. Choosing the right time to start habits matters a lot. Choosing the right time to work on your goals matters a lot.

Continue reading “Is it the right time?”
Is it the right time?

Do you Believe in Writing in Seasons?

Remember when I said I would write four days a week this year?

That has not happened since April, during the holy month of Ramadan specifically, when working hours changed for a month. Then we had a family trip then I focused on using the writing time I had to prepare for my first public habits workshop. Then summer happened. 

 In summer, I stayed up late to spend time with my family member visiting from abroad. I traveled. I went to parties and weddings. This summer was a lot similar to pre-covid times; only my kids got bigger and were not going to daycare/summer camp every morning. This time, they stayed with their grandparents to play with their cousins. So, I did not have to wake up until the last minute possible while I would still make it to work on time. That meant I arrived past my writing time. So I did not write in the summer. 

What gave me so much comfort is that I learned that I can write in seasons and still be a writer. Cheryl Strayed shared this in her fantastic interview on Marie Forleo’s podcast. She mentioned she was a binge writer and shared a story of a Dear Sugar questioner, her famous advice column, who said she could only write once a month when she sends her kids to her mother’s house. Cheryl told her she was still a writer even if she wrote once a month. This answer relieved Marie Forleo, who, like me, admires Seth Godin and his advice that encourages writing daily. Seth and Rohan were, in fact, the main reasons I attempted to write daily last year. 

Lucky me, it’s September again, and schools have been back for almost a week, so I am arriving early to the office. My writing context is back. 

During summer, while the writing space remained the same, the writing time and, with it, the writing habit disappeared. This personal proof aligns with everything I read about habits; the importance of context for keeping them. 

I am so glad I am back.

I recommend you check that interview.

Here is my favorite part:

You know, there were many times for 3 months in a row I wrote every day. But there are also many times for 3 months in a row I didn’t write a word. And what I’ve found is when, like, I make an appointment with myself and I don’t look at each day. I look at the calendar ahead. And it’s been really helpful for me actually also to decide when not to write, because I can look sometimes at my calendar and say, “I’m gonna be really busy for the next month,” or, “I just gave birth to a child,” or, you know, I have to work really hard at this other project because that’s important to me too. And then I just put the writing aside and know that I’m not going to feel bad about it, I’m not gonna get into some sort of shame loop about I haven’t written. I tell myself you’re not going to write now and then you’re going to write then. And then what I do is I make good on that promise. That’s the other piece of it. This isn’t about being, you know, using lazy excuses. It’s not using this methodology in order to not write. It’s actually the opposite. It’s saying this is when I work best or when I can work best.

….One of the most moving comments I got after one of my talks is just during the Q&A afterwards. Somebody had asked me what my writing process was and I said about this binge writing: I don’t write every day and sometimes I write once a month. And this woman came up to me afterwards and she was crying, and she said, “Thank you so much.” She said, “I have always felt like I wasn’t a writer. I’m a single mom, I have 4 kids, and I can write once a month, the day my mom takes my kids. And I think you’re the first person who told me that I can still say that I’m a writer even though I only write once a month.” And I just grabbed her and I was like, “You are absolutely a writer. Because if you write once a month, guess what happens by the end of that year? You’ve written 12 days. And I know you can do a lot of beauty in 12 days. Because I’ve done it too.

How to Become a Writer, According to Cheryl Strayed

Wow.

Do you Believe in Writing in Seasons?

How to not let a new idea ruin your good-enough old ideas

Last month I decided to try batching in recording two to three episodes at once for my podcast in one sitting, especially since the topics were ready due to consistently writing on this blog. Afterward, I thought, I could try batching sessions for editing. 

When it comes to creating podcasts, Michael Hyatt always advocates batching : 

“Batch processing is the grouping of similar tasks that require similar resources in order to streamline their completion.”

Amy Porterfield agreesJohn Lee Dumas swears by it in his interview with Hala Taha, and my consistent content creator friend swears by batching for doing reels. That is why I was so excited to try it.

One month later, however, I created zero podcast episodes instead of the usual target of two. This mishap was a juicy topic in the recent weekly review call with my incredible accountability partner. When she checked- in with me about the reason, my answer-read “excuse”- was: “I did not have enough time for a long recording session.” So, she shared this gem of advice with me: 

“You don’t need to implement a good idea right when you hear about it or think of it or like it.”

She added, “Your normal podcast process worked well enough, and now because you want to try this new “better” process, you halted your good enough process and ended up with nothing to show for it”. 

Aha moment, yes? 

I thanked her so much for turning on the lights for me one more time. I did not realize it was that all-or-nothing mentality again, stopping me from my best work. Therefore, I decided I will try batching soon enough by properly scheduling it and hopefully live the ease it promises of sharing more consistent podcast content. Meanwhile, I will keep my existing process of working on one episode from start to finish.

So there you go; if you get a great idea, write it down and put a date to try it in your reminders app to ensure you wouldn’t forget about it like you are so afraid to. But, don’t stop your good-enough ideas or processes (in my case) until you first try the better idea! Waiting to try a new tool or software or an app or a process for your creative work could turn into a trap for not shipping it to the world. 

I fell for it, but now I know better. You do too.

How to not let a new idea ruin your good-enough old ideas

How to Troubleshoot a Positive Behavior into Becoming a Habit?

When I was doing my monthly review for March to prepare for the new month and the new quarter, I noticed that I had dropped the habit of my 5-minute morning stretching. Dropping a habit that I care about usually means that I need to start up my habit troubleshooting mode. I enjoy this mode a lot with all the knowledge and experience I got from studying the topic of habits and giving several training workshops on it.

First, I asked myself what changed in March? 

The answer was the steps of my morning routine; 

My previous routine was:

  • Skincare routine.
  • Brewing coffee while doing the 5-minute stretching.
  • Meditating for 15 minutes.
  • Then, having my coffee and doing the rest of my routine such s journaling and so on.

In March, however, I decided to start a round of a few weeks of morning pages, a particular type of stream of consciousness journaling created by Julia Cameron. It entails writing three A4 pages as soon as we wake up and takes about 45 minutes. 

My March routine was: 

  • Brew coffee while doing my skincare routine.
  • Write my morning pages while having coffee.
  • Then meditate and do the rest of my routine.

Only at the end of my routine, when I want to check off my morning habits, do I notice that I had skipped the 5-minute morning stretching. 

So what happened here?

In my previous routine, brewing coffee was a prompt for stretching and meditating. But how come I still kept my meditation habit after the prompt changed but not workouts? The critical difference is that meditation has already become a habit after nearly two years of on and off practice. The proof is that I don’t even think about doing it or not. On the other hand, working out has not become a habit yet, because I still debate doing it in my mind, totally ignore it, or even forget it until it’s time to check off the habit tracker.

Why are morning workouts not a habit yet? 

Although I made exercising very easy last year by applying the 2-minute rule according to Atomic habits, and it helped me grow some visible, albeit shy, muscles on my bony arms, the behavior disappeared at the slightest change in my routine because it is not clear enough. I sometimes do pushups and setups; other times, burpees and squats, you get the picture, so I do not have a fixed pre-decided routine that I follow. 

Thanks to an insight I received from a friend facing the same problem, I figured this out. My friend decided to select a video and follow it every morning; no thinking or even counting is needed. I can do the same or print out the workout steps I’d like to follow, like 10 pushups, 10 burpees, 10 squats, etc. However, I am leaning into videos because they give me the company I need in those quiet and sleepy morning hours. All I need is to decide on the video once and then keep going. That’s it. 

In addition to making the habit clear with a video to follow, I can use the habit stacking strategy to ensure I commit to working out by placing it between two strong habits. Accordingly, on the days when I would like to write morning pages, my routine will be:

After I do my morning pages, I will work out for 5 minutes with a video,

After I work out for five minutes, I will meditate.

This sounds like a plan I’d like to follow, and like many other posts in this blog, it is about experimentation and tweaking my routine to do the things that matter most to me. I will keep you updated on how it turns out.

What about you? 

How can you tweak your routine to achieve the results you want?

How to Troubleshoot a Positive Behavior into Becoming a Habit?

Your Kids Should NOT Listen to You, Here is Why

I have taken a six-week course with my favorite parenting coach and author, Susan Stiffelman called Parenting Without Power Struggles.

One of the tools she reminded us to use is the turnarounds, which is part of the beautiful exercises created by Byron Katie in her books and website thework.com.

Using the turnarounds as parents and caregivers means that we need to notice the assumptions we have about our kids and then turn them around by living on their planet for a little while.

For example, if we say: “My kids should listen to me the first time I call them to get ready for bed” instead, we say: “My kids shouldn’t listen to me the first time I call them to get ready for bed” and then we add justifications why this turnaround makes sense; why, in their planet, they are right.  

Here are some great reasons why the turnaround is also true:

  • They shouldn’t listen because playing is more fun than sleeping.
  • They should not listen because they do not like to sleep while adults are still awake.
  • They shouldn’t listen because they want to spend more time with us.
  • They should not listen because their prefrontal cortex, responsible for their logical reasoning, is still developing, and it will continue to do so until their early twenties. They can’t easily associate lesser sleep with their overall wellbeing and mood the next day. 
  • They should not listen because they only live in the now and don’t see how sleeping late is a problem.
  • They should not listen because they still see it daylight outside, especially with daylight saving, so it does not make sense for them to sleep before nightfall. 

Do you see how our expectations and the shoulds we impose on our kids could make us all miserable?

If only we pause and remember why they are also right to feel what they feel and not do what we say, right away, we will be a little more patient with them and take time to acknowledge their disappointment for stopping their fun activities. We will tell them we know it’s hard to stop, listen to them as they try to negotiate their way out, notice as they express their angry resistance, and finally reach acceptance. 

Our job as parents is to let go of our expectations of how our kids should respond to our requests by anticipating their reactions and be ready for their no and non-cooperation, even taking it into account time-wise before transitions. 

I also got beneficial advice from a workshop I took with the fabulous mothers’ coach and friend Muna Shakour, who said, “Just accept the fact that you will keep reminding them to brush their teeth, possibly until they are ten years old.” “Embracing this reality”, she advised, “will remove frustration from our constant evening reminders”.

Being ready for kids to behave as kids by using the turnarounds technique is terrific and releases you from the grip of an ideal picture you are holding onto that could cause damage to your precious relationship.

What turnarounds could you apply about a belief you have? 

Think of your situation and the should you believe about it, turn the should around by negating it, then make a list of reasons the turnaround makes sense.

Thank me and my teachers later.

Your Kids Should NOT Listen to You, Here is Why

Don’t Wake Up Early: Advice for 5 AM Club Wannabees

Waking up at 5 AM since late 2016 is the keystone habit that has turned my life around. Waking up early, however, is not for everybody. I meet many people who complain about not being able to wake up early, and after a bit of probing, I discover that one or more of the behaviors below applies to them. 

If you still have not conquered the waking up early habit yet, you might realize the reason now.

  1. You go out almost every night and do not come home before 11 PM.
  2. You like to keep your options open for nights out with your partner or friends, and you pride yourself on being the first to say yes if someone makes plans on the same day.
  3. You like to spend an hour or two every night on your phone scrolling social media or binging on Netflix.
  4. You hate your day job and believe that nighttime is the only time to chill, so you sleep late or enjoy what the Japanese call bedtime revenge.
  5. You don’t have a big enough why to get you out of bed while it’s still dark outside. You don’t have something to look forward to doing in the morning. 
  6. You have plenty of time for self-care habits such as meditation, journaling, and reading during the day, so you don’t need the early hours to do that. 
  7. You are organized and don’t feel rushed in the morning; you usually arrive to work ready to kill it. 

If the above applies to you, stop kidding yourself by saying I wish I woke up earlier. You really don’t want to. Life, as it is now, is working out fine for you. You don’t wake up early by choice. Your daily actions reveal your priorities. There is nothing wrong with waking up at the time that suits your lifestyle. Embrace your reality.

However, if you want to get up earlier and think it’s the best time to give attention to yourself first before giving it to your world, to reflect, to move, to enjoy the quiet, and plan the day, then, could you tell me which of the above behaviors is blocking you? 

Defining the problem is the first step to solving it.

Check my 14 tips to wake up earlier here.

Don’t Wake Up Early: Advice for 5 AM Club Wannabees

Six Tips for Writing Consistently

Last year, I started my writing practice and succeeded in shipping daily for more than 6o days in a row and a total of 117 posts throughout the year, so here is what I learned from the success and failure of my experience to implement this time around. 

1. Create fixed time and space triggers for your writing habit.

Example: “When I arrive at the office, I will write for 30-40 minutes” or “After I take my lunch break, I will start writing at my desk”

 If your space changes over the week, for example, you write in the office, but you’re home for the weekends, you need to customize your trigger so you can write with no interruptions. 

Example: “In weekends, I will sit in my home office at 7 am and write for 30-40 minutes” 

Setting your writing practice later than that means your kids would interrupt you when they wake up, and this almost ensures you spend your day chasing another time slot to finish writing or even going to bed without posting, like what I used to do.

3. Start a streak by tracking your writing habit on a habit tracker. 

It feels rewarding to see that chain growing and confirming your new writer identity. Don’t break the chain, and start another one as soon as you do.

4. Create public accountability for your writing habit by announcing that you will write daily for a month on your social media. This way, you will feel more inclined to respect your promise and not miss a day.

5. Create a ritual to begin writing

Here is what I do, I set my favorite visual timer Time Timer to 45 minutes and place it in front of me, then select the same duration for focus music on Brain. FM and listen to it using my noise cancellation headset. Whenever I do these three steps, I signal my brain to get ready to start writing.

6. Use full-screen mode when typing to stay focused.

 I either use MS Word or Scrivener, and I keep typing any thoughts that come to my mind as if I was journaling until meaningful, shareable words start appearing on the screen. 

Are you thinking of starting a daily habit? 

Do the same. 

  • Create time and space triggers for the habit to live.
  • Make it small by limiting its time. 
  • Eliminate distractions while pursuing it, until the timer goes off at least. 
  • Track it and share it with others. 

 

PS: I am still working on enhancing #4 using the course I am currently part of Ship30for30

Six Tips for Writing Consistently

You Will Find Your Way Back

I am posting this right after I finished teaching a 2.5-hour workshop on journaling, my favorite part of my morning routine.

At the end of the workshop, a bride-to-be participant shared with me that she’s afraid to lose herself when she starts a new life with more responsibilities and commitments. She asked me: how would she keep her good habits, like journaling, then?

My answer to her was this: Yes, you will change as you enter a new life, and yes, you will have less time for yourself than you do now. However, I’m here to remind you that you have a head start. You are already on the path of self-awareness; taking this workshop is one example, and this means you will notice when you wander away from your best self as you adjust to your new life. It will take time to figure out the person you would like to be in the relationship, to define your boundaries and your non-negotiables, but nothing works if you abandon yourself. The relationship thrives when you are happy as an individual. Journaling is one way of taking care of yourself among many. If/when you stop it as life gets busy, I promise you this; you will find your way back.

You are not the same person you were years ago. You are aware enough, you worked so hard on yourself, and you grew so much that no matter what changes disrupt your life, you will endure and find your way back. That even if you fall, you will not stay down for long nor dwell on your failures; instead, you will rise up, way faster than the past you.

  • What if we get quarantined again for some reason? We will find our way back.
  • What if we grow our family and life gets too hectic? We will find our way back.
  • What if we travel and stop some habits we worked hard for? We will find our way back.
  • What if someone needs us to step up and constantly be there for them? We will find our way back.

Isn’t that the definition of resilience?

Give yourself this reassurance as fear creeps in when you embark upon the unknown: If you start and stop or if you get lost, you now know your way back. Trust that you have created an anchor you’ll return to again and again. You can restart as many times as you want.

Liberating.

You Will Find Your Way Back