The very special post

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I wanted to write this post 2 hours ago, so I started a 30-minute session of focused music on Brain Fm as usual. Few minutes later I paused the music to receive a 15-min call from my friend. Afterwards, as I opened the word document I use to draft my daily posts in, I remembered that a few weeks ago, before my 30-day free trial ended, I used to write on Scrivener software and that they were about to release a brand-new version for windows, the first major update in years, so I went to their website to find that lo and behold it was indeed released, so I paid for the license, downloaded the new shiny software that will absolutely help me write better and fired it up. The software was beautiful.

As I normally did, I hit F11 to use the full screen mode for writing. Unfortunately, the background was dark now and I didn’t’ like it or that I couldn’t change it in options. Therefore, I spent some time looking up the manual to change the background of the composition screen to white, with no success. I had to DuckDuckGo it to find I had to have a JPG image of white to use as my wanted backdrop, so that’s what I did.

Now, I was so ready to write my post.

However, I decided to clean my keyboard first, because I forgot to tell you I spilled some coffee on it yesterday and, although I cleaned it well, the letters D and Z were still sticky.

So here you are, one clean keyboard later, reading how this brilliant post got safely to your browser. It was a long journey of excuses on the way, but I think my writing got better, don’t you think? 🙂

The very special post

Can you laugh about it?

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When you notice your neurotic thinking and behavior, can you take back a few steps and watch it as something peculiar happening inside you? Can you disidentify with it as you the person and realize it is an experience you are simply having at this moment? Can you remember that this too shall pass? Can your observing self watch it with curiosity and wonder? Can you notice how these feelings are making your heart beat faster and your mind unfocused and your breath shallower? Can you look at this experience as yet another lesson in patience and self-acceptance in all your states? Can you take it lightly and not be so serious about it? Can you laugh at this particular human experience you’re having that is making you this uncomfortable? Can you let go of the thoughts that are keeping you hooked to this state and taking you away from being present? Can you breathe very slowly, watching your belly filling up with air with every inhale and deflating with exhale? Can you remember you are strong enough and went through harder times before, so you will be okay this time too? Can you repeat this sentence to yourself “May you be well my friend, may you be safe, may you live in joy and peace”* until you feel calmer?

Sure you can.

*Tibetan “lovingkindness” meditation mantra.

Can you laugh about it?

Spark Yourself

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This is an excerpt from a wonderful book I read 4 years ago called book “How to Live a Good Life” by Jonathan Fields about a life quest the perplexes most people which is defining their passion and purpose. I learned from Jonathan and the author Elizabeth Gilbert and many others that we can only follow our curiosity as a guide to find things we enjoy doing with passion, so here it goes:

“Time for you to spark yourself! What are the things that you want to invest time, energy, money, and effort to do, learn, or participate in more? Answer as many of the following questions as you can. Truth is, it’s often easier to have fewer sparks, because then you spend less time trying to decide which to devote time and effort to. You can still contribute to the world in a way that lights you up.

If you find yourself struggling to answer for present-day you, answer for 12-year-old you. Sometimes by the time we reach adulthood, our true sparks are buried so deep we have forgotten how to see them. Reconnecting with your inner 12-year-old, without regard to whether adult society holds your answers valid, can be a great place to start.

  • Am I curious about anything in particular?
  • Is there a big question I’d love to answer?
  • Is there a problem I feel compelled to solve?
  • Are there things that fascinate me? Is there a topic or field or thing or pursuit or even a person that I have a deep yearning to know more about?
  • Are there activities that I get lost in?
  • Are there things I love to do where I lose track of time and would pay to be able to do more?
  • Is there something I want to master? Is there an art or field or pursuit I’d love to be really good at, maybe even world-class great?
  • Is there some person or community or being I feel compelled to help? It doesn’t have to be human; it could be an animal, a plant, or even a planet.

Look at your answers, then ask how you might be able to weave more of the things that spark you into your days.“

Note: Spark Yourself is the title of the chapter I took this excerpt from. I totally forgot how amazing this book was until Readwise app reminded me of it.

I love the word Spark which is why I named my weekly newsletter “The Sunday Spark”, subscribe to it and check the archive here.

Spark Yourself

Gratitude Note

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This is a note of gratitude for the end of this unconventional school year. For homework-free weekends and evenings. For zero notifications from Google Classroom. For quiet parents’ WhatsApp groups. For possibilities and a real hope this is the last time our kids go through this kind of remote learning.

We did it.

Thank you teachers so much, you learned so many new skills in no time to keep the learning process as smooth as possible for our kids. Thank you for your massive efforts and patience with us.

Thank you my dear parents in law for taking care of our kids during their online school hours while we were at work and especially for the delicious meals.

My dear kids, I am so proud of you both. We went through so many ups and downs together, because while I love to teach what I learn, I found it so hard to teach you what you learn, especially in the first semester, when online teaching was so foreign to us all. Thank you for bearing with me as I learned what worked best for you and your energy levels and rhythms. Thank you dear daughter for being responsible and managing your classes while I was at work.

I love you both and cherish you. Summer break here we come.

Gratitude Note

Magic and Energy

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A good night sleep, a rested body, a healthy gut and an alert mind, are some of the natural things that most of us enjoy every day but take for granted. When they go missing, however, we lose our magic.

We don’t have enough energy to process data or people. We find it hard to avoid road rage caused by a reckless driver who cut in front of us. We get edgy with our boss for making a very reasonable request. We feel needy when a loved one does not answer right away. We more than dislike online schooling and any newly assigned homework like the plague. We seek food for comfort that can’t be grasped. Our attempt to save our energy turn us into whiny selfish human beings. We feel like we lost the capacity for kindness or understanding. We take things personally.

This happens when you miss a good night sleep or two.

Imagine this state expanding over days and weeks. This turns into burnout. No time for self-care turns us into exhausted cynics. We feel we can’t make a difference and the light of hope dims in our eyes.

If you feel that what I described is how you feel most days, I am here to tell you 2 things. First, you are not alone and second, given your circumstances, it is still not natural to feel this way, no matter what others tell you.

You are meant to thrive. You are meant to feel hopeful. You are meant to feel your goodness and extend it to others.

Name it to tame it. This is burnout, and it happens when you put aside your needs and take care of the needs and demands of others for too long. It is not sustainable. You need to take care of you first before taking care of others.

Start your healing by asking yourself what are you depriving yourself of? And whose opinion are you depriving yourself for?

You need a break to just be, to give your soul some space to breathe unrushed, so that your body could restore the energy it lost.

Your magic will return when your energy returns. You and your world deserve you at your best.

We need your magic. Take care of you.

———————————–

Blog Post title inspired by this.

Magic and Energy

Hopeful June

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This month I am anticipating:

  • More free time as online learning for this one of a kind school year is wrapping up.
  • Making progress on an important goal of mine before family and friends from abroad start arriving in July to spend summer wih us.
  • Life to feel a lot like before Covid19.
  • June’s late sunsets.
  • Commitment to my current habits and new habits like food Journaling and practicing visualization in the morning.

Hopeful beginnings are my favorite.

Hopeful June

The Good Doctor

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My friend told me about a unique experience she had with a doctor she visited recently for a consult regarding a skin condition that her baby has. As she was about to feel discouraged due to terrible experiences with previous doctors, this doctor proved otherwise.

My friend told this doctor about a new research she found that would help with the particular condition her baby has. The young doctor asked for the research, read it on the spot then openly said he did not hear of it before, but, if it was his son he would try the nonintrusive treatment prescribed in the research immediately. You can imagine the relief my friend felt.

This doctor was an example of empathy and kindness. He helped calm the fear the parents had. Furthermore, he said he will study this research more to help other patients, and he did not even charge the young couple. He made a lasting positive impression and built trust with his willingness to educate himself and putting himself in the shoes of his patients. I wish there were more doctors like him.

The Good Doctor

Open up

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Open up. Don’t keep it shut.
The door to your heart is not meant to be there.
You built it up when you got hurt.

Open up. Don’t keep it shut.
The door to your heart is not letting love in or out.

Open up. Don’t keep it shut.
Doors are not for hearts.
You think your door is protecting you but it’s only blocking the flow of love that is your birthright.

Open up. Don’t keep it shut
It lies. This door.
It tells you stuff like: “show them how it feels to withhold love from them“.
You think you’re the punisher. You are the punished.

Open up. Don’t keep it shut.
Whenever you feel your heart closing down, remember that.
Shutting down is not the way you handle life.
Keep it open and stay watching.
That’s the courageous choice.
Shutting down is turning your back to your life and to those you share it with.

Open up. Don’t keep it shut.
The doorway should be clear. The door must be wrecked off its hinges.

Open up. Don’t keep it shut.
When your heart is open, they can tell.
They will feel your unconditional approval of them.
And guess what? They, too, will crack theirs open.

Open up darling. Don’t keep it shut.

Open up

Rereading

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I hardly re-read any paperback books. The only books I usually re-read are audiobooks because I miss a lot of the content first time round. However, this is my 4th year reading The Daily Stoic. This is such a good annual read that I highly recommend.

Whenever I see something underlined or highlighted by my past self I get mixed feelings. Sometimes I feel “I hardly changed, this part still amazes me“. Other times I feel “That does not resonate with me anymore“. Many times I wonder what I was thinking when I circled a passage many times. I always highlight new parts that stand out to me but did not before.

Rereading a book is a lot like rereading old journal entries where you meet a younger version of you. You feel you changed a lot and not that much simultaneously. It is a beautiful feeling. That’s why I’m more convinced I need to take book notes because they are also a documentation of who we are when we read those books.

Rereading

Podcast Stats for Fun

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I was delighted this morning to see that the numbers of my podcast downloads are growing fast. Yesterday was an all-time high in downloads per day reaching 303 with the release of the last part of Atomic Habits book discussion. This way the podcast crossed 18K total downloads to date, making a 1000 in one week. See how the daily downloads mean is shifting up in the chart below.

The number of unique listeners has doubled lately to reach about 700 per week. This is reassuring that I’m on the right track, although, as Seth says reassurance is futile. That’s why I am not spending anytime benchmarking my stats against other podcasts. IT’s pretty cool to me and I am grateful.

It’s also really fun to see where my listeners are in the chart below, naturally my home country Jordan is #1.

For spreading the word, listening and spending time investing in your growth with me, I thank you so much.

Podcast Stats for Fun