success

Self-Trust

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As I reflected on the last year, a theme that I had not anticipated emerged.

It’s self-trust.

  • I now trust that when I set powerful intentions, they come true, even if the how is not clear yet. By setting the intention to monetize my work at the beginning of the year, opportunities I never heard of presented themselves, and I got hired for the first time to teach my work.
  • By launching my first workshop at the end of the year, I now trust that I can generate income if I leave my job and start my own business.
  • I now trust that when I believe my work is worth so much, the universe agrees and I receive from sources I do not expect. For example, someone paid me back some money I gave a year ago on the same day of the workshop launch.
  • Now that it’s finally a habit, I now trust that meditation helps sharpen my intuition.
  • I also now trust my intuition more than ever; my gut feeling told me someone was bad news, and it was right.
  • I now trust that affirmations work, specifically repeatedly writing them in the morning.
  • I now trust that when I respect my menstrual cycle and rest more, I achieve more.
  • I now trust that when I start typing, meaningful words will appear, eventually.

Self-Trust

Starting a New Job? Here is Some Advice.

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My friend is starting a new job soon, so I sent her this list of helpful reminders; maybe they will help you too:

  1. Starting a new job is uncomfortable; you are used to being the expert in your previous job, but now you will be the newbie. Not knowing all the answers is uncomfortable.
  2. Sit with the discomfort and accept it, realizing it is a temporary phase.
  3. Those first weeks are your golden opportunity to ask questions. You are expected to. Your new team will not look to you for answers for a while. Don’t act as if you have them; you don’t.
  4. It’s time to practice listening and hold off jumping to conclusions. Just listen.
  5. Set clear boundaries about what’s OK and what’s not OK, especially jokes and personal questions.
  6. Some employees will try to win you from day one. It’s nice to feel welcomed, but they are not your friends yet, let time show you who they are.
  7. Some employees will try to plant seeds about other employees. Please don’t take their word for it. Even if they trust or like another employee, that does not mean you should too. Let your own experience determine your relationships.
  8. Some employees would be so insecure that they will see you as a threat and try to sabotage you, keep your eyes open, and listen more than you talk.
  9. You have always said you want to leave work at work, so it’s time to walk the talk. Changing your job is a chance to change your work style. You may be used to taking work home and getting work done after your kids sleep, but people at your new job do not know that. The first step is to leave at 5 pm on day one, right when the official working hours end. You don’t stay late to prove anything to anyone. Instead, you become so efficient during working hours to shut down work entirely until the next day. If you stay late, on the other hand, you will set that as their normal expectations from you, while leaving at 5 pm would be abnormal.
  10. Changing your environment is a great way to start new habits and get rid of negative ones. Try taking your lunch box instead of ordering takeout, bringing your coffee with you instead of buying it, taking walks during lunch breaks instead of staying glued to your screen, listening to a new podcast in your new route, or changing your attire or hairstyle.
  11. Read the book The First 90 Days.

Happy probation!

Starting a New Job? Here is Some Advice.

Compared to last year

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During my weekly preview call with my accountability partner last week, I got a huge insight that I kept reflecting on since then, and wanted to share with you here.

Keen as always, she noticed that I had a pattern lately in the way I talked, so she was kind enough to hold up the mirror for me to see it. It was the comparison trap again, this time with my 2020 self.

The year 2020 was indeed a big year for me. I had the luxury of time, especially during quarantine, which helped me get goals moving forward like launching my podcast and The Power of Now video series, in addition to decluttering my home among other achievements. In our recent calls, I kept repeating the sentence: “Compared to last year, I felt happier, things were more exciting, I did more…etc.”

She gently asked me to notice this and to remind myself that every year comes with its own elements. It is not fair to myself to overlook the consistent and hard efforts I’ve been putting forth this year. Moreover, the exposure I am lucky to have this year is way bigger than last year’s.

Yes, we do compare ourselves to others and most times it doesn’t feel great, but we can be really hard on ourselves when we compare our current selves to our past selves who lived different seasons which we may or may not live again.  

Another note we discussed was that perhaps starting things is more exciting than keeping at them, and that’s where discipline and remembering our why comes in. I also need to ask myself “How can I bring joy to this moment?” more often and act on the answer, and definitely pat myself on the back kindly saying: “Well done, Bardees, you have come a long way”.

Say it to yourself please: “Well done, (your name) you have come a long way.”

Happy Back-to-School Season by the way.

Compared to last year

Work Desk Must haves

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Yesterday I shared about my whiteboard, a key element in my office that inspires me.

Today, I will share what I also keep at my desk in front of me at all times:

On cardboard paper:

  • My Work Goals for the quarter (it’s very important to keep your goals visible)
  • My work affirmations (added just recently).
    • I am committed to being a leader, an initiator, an over-communicator and fast deliverer at my job.
    • I am committed to getting better and better at my job.
    • I am committed to communicating clearly and effectively.
    • I am committed to giving generously to others, the more I give, the more I receive and the happier I feel.
    • I am committed to expanding in abundance, success and love and inspiring others to do the same

On post-it notes:

  • My mantra of the Year: Practice Focused Attention. Maybe I need to rephrase into a question: Are you practicing focused attention? Much more powerful, no?
  • My workday startup ritual steps, including the check-in questions.
  • My workday shutdown ritual steps, including the check-out questions.

Since writing my ritual steps on post-its last month I’ve been committing to them more. In addition, I set an alarm 30 minutes before workday end to remind me to start my shutdown ritual and leave on time.

I hope you find this helpful to you.

Snapshot from my work desk showing some of the above

Work Desk Must haves

Saving Accountability

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Yesterday, I sent this text to my accountability partner:

“I bought a new Kindle book for the amount of 8.99$. I am letting you know as I plan not to buy to more books in the coming 90 days. If I do buy, however, I must tell you what I bought and how much I spent, even if it cost 0.99$ only. Please ask me about this in our weekly calls. Also note, I am not depriving myself since I still have my monthly audible credit to look forward to use.”

I once heard good advice from the author Ramit Sethi, that whenever you want a book just get it, because books are valuable and one idea in the book will be worth it. I love that advice, however, the accumulation of unread books in my Kindle library and also physical space is not making me feel that good. More is not better. This new accountability will make me think more before buying a new Kindle book and help me overcome my digital/knowledge hoarding habit.

I also need to save more money. I think the why of saving money is not super crystal to me yet, so I need to write my why to help me commit.

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Saving Accountability

Don’t Think it, Write it

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When I am at my home office early in the morning, I tend to stare outside the window a lot and replay a recent event in my head or daydream. Then I notice the timer on my desk which means I need to focus to make the best of my morning routine before heading to work or kids wake up, so I tell myself “don’t think it, write it” to remember to use my journal to capture my daydreams and replays on paper. Locking my thoughts in paper helps me think more clearly and get some insights.

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Don’t Think it, Write it

The Corridor Principle

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When I read my gratitude journal entries, I sometimes find myself grateful not only for people I have in my life and moments in my day but for new ideas I am learning. One idea I’m so grateful I learned from listening to Brian Tracy is called The Corridor Principle.

The Corridor Principle states that you will not see the doors that await for your in the corridor you’re about to walk unless you start walking.

That is another way to say you will not know the opportunities you might be presented with until you start. This idea is about encouraging you to start whatever you’re reluctant or scared to pursue, and how starting will help open new doors you wouldn’t have thought existed otherwise.

What a beautiful secret to success.

The Corridor Principle