inspiration

Good Problems To Have

Bardees, , , Leave a comment

It’s been two years since I found my budgeting rhythm and achieved the goal of tracking and planning expenses. That’s why I had tax payment as an item in my annual budget planned and ready to go. Like every April, I filed my taxes for last year a couple of weeks ago, only to discover that my due tax amount doubled compared to the previous year because my income improved and, of course, due to the crazy local tax jumps we have.

At first, I was mortified; I felt it was unfair for a third-world resident like myself to pay this much tax. Then I remembered a reading from the Daily Stoic; which said:

“You think you’re so special? People have been complaining about their taxes for thousands of years, and now they’re dead. Get over it. This is a good problem to have. Far better than, say, making so little there is nothing left to pay the government.

Income taxes are not the only taxes you pay in life. They are just the financial form. Everything we do has a toll attached to it. Waiting around is a tax on traveling. Rumors and gossip are the taxes that come from acquiring a public persona. Disagreements and occasional frustration are taxes placed on even the happiest of relationships. Theft is a tax on abundance and having things that other people want. Stress and problems are tariffs that come attached to success.”

I also felt grateful (it took a while) for the idea that more taxes means more income. I get to pay taxes. Just like I improved my income last year, I can do it again. This year, however, I will be smarter, keep a tax calculator handy, and budget better for next April.

My favorite sentence in the quote I shared from the book is, “Tax is a good problem to have.” Jon Acuff reminded me of the same idea in one of his courses: Sometimes, we avoid starting a goal because we are worried we will be unable to handle the “problems” resulting from our success. 

Examples of good problems to have:

  • Clothes that get too loose after you lose weight.
  • You’re in high demand to speak at events because you’re excellent at public speaking.
  • Your shop stock might sell out because of the outstanding quality and marketing, and you would apologize to potential buyers.

Yes, you may still need to gain a new skill set to handle your anticipated great success, but you are also growing, learning, and changing every day and acquiring knowledge and experience that will help you solve anything you might face.

Don’t let worrying about the good problems be an excuse for not starting goals. Having good problems means you have succeeded in achieving your goals. Most importantly, trust yourself. You can handle good problems just as you can handle bad ones.

Good Problems To Have

A letter of gratitude to Seth Godin

Bardees, , Leave a comment

When I was playing the conversation cards game with a group of friends, The question I got was: Who has had the most significant influence on your life?

My answer was: Seth Godin.

Have I talked about Seth Godin here before? Oh yes, I have!

I started reading his daily blog in 2009, a few years late to his daily blogging practice. A year later, I ordered his currently widely-acclaimed, newly-released-at-the-time book, Linchpin. That was the first book I read by Seth. He has published 21 books.

In 2016, I ordered the Titan book by Seth Godin, a mammoth of a book that was a collectible and included his best-of blog post writings of 2010-2016. This book is still the heaviest thing I ever ordered online. 

One of the coolest stories I have about Seth is that my photo/name is on the inside cover of his book The Marketing Seminar, which was launched in 2018. Seth wrote the book based on his workshop with the same title (TMS for short) that I took part in as soon as he announced it a year before. After he wrote the book, the graduates of the first four cohorts, like me, were offered early-bird copies and were encouraged to post book reviews (which I did but no longer can find). We were included in the book cover as a thank-you for participating in TMS. A marketing genius, isn’t he?

After that, I took many workshops by Seth; The Podcasting Fellowship stands out. I took it twice, once in the summer of 2018 and then in the fall of 2019 because I did not do the work the first time. 

A few weeks later, I took the altMBA workshop with Seth Godin, the best immersive learning experience with Seth and his team of coaches. I graduated from the 35th cohort, the last cohort before COVID-19. 

In February 2020, I was about to meet him. I booked a ticket to Europe to attend his keynote speech, but when COVID hit, the conference got canceled, and I was refunded. 

His book, Your Turn, was one of the most motivational books I have ever read; I gifted a copy to a friend.

I gifted his book The Practice to my creative mastermind group in 2021. 

I loved his gift to the world, Stop Stealing Dreams that I paid someone to translate into Arabic so I would share it with my community. I then had to review the translation to make sure the translator captured what Seth meant, but I didn’t finish that because I found out that it was already translated to Arabic by someone else, so I did not publish it.

I have yet to read Seth’s latest book, The Song of Significance, but I’m sure that based on what I heard in this interview with him by fellow altMBA and podcasting course graduates, I will love it. 

What did Seth teach me?

• He convinced me I have a voice I need to use to express my opinion or make assertions as he says. He told me that our online world means we all have microphones.

• He encouraged me to create my podcast before podcasting became cool here in the Arab world. I launched it in 2020.

• He redefined creativity for me and made me believe I was creative even though I did not paint.

• He redefined what art means. It’s work, done with care, that changes people.

• He defined discipline and generosity for me by writing a daily blog post for nearly 20 years, publishing 21 books, and shipping tens of meaningful projects.

• He made me fall in love with the word Ship; “If it doesn’t ship, it doesn’t count”. Because of you, I am writing. 

Seth, thank you for everything, 

Thank you for the light bulbs, discomfort, and lessons of integrity, respect, and empathy. You taught me how to care about my work and legacy and be an indispensable professional and freelancer.  

I am forever grateful for you and hope to tell you that in person one day.  

A letter of gratitude to Seth Godin

Simply profound life lesson from 45 years of marriage

Bardees, , , Leave a comment

I asked my parents-in-law, who celebrated their 45th wedding anniversary a few days ago, about their top lessons over the years. Their answers went beyond marriage lessons to life lessons. 

My mother-in-law said:

  1.  Practise patience; it pays off.
  2. Sometimes things don’t work out right when you want them to, but they eventually will. 
  3. Respect is key to sustain relationships, especially in marriage.
  4. Do good unto others and forget about it. Don’t expect them to return the favor. 

My father-in-law said:

  1.  Faith is essential; it carried him through many hard days. When you feel like there is no way out, God always forges a path. He’s the one to give to our problems. 
  2. Marital problems are private and should not leave the house. 
  3. Since their engagement, he and my mother-in-law agreed to share people’s joys and sorrows by attending weddings and funerals. As importantly, they made sure to visit the sick, and people around them sincerely appreciated these meaningful habits.

Happy anniversary dear ones. We are blessed to have you. May you enjoy a long healthy life and keep spoiling our kids. 

Simply profound life lesson from 45 years of marriage

By Now

Bardees, , , 1 Comment

By now I should be able to be calm and patient with my kids.
By now I should have my home decor and design taste all figured out.
By now I should have a proper dining table for guests.
By now I should be driving that fancy car I always eye in the street.
By now I should be making that amount of money.
By now I should have my emergency fund up and running.
By now I should be able to cook extravagant meals.
By now I should have upgraded my beauty routines.
By now I should have the body of my dreams.
By now I should have started my own business.
By now I should have a much higher number of followers.
By now I should have traveled the world.
By now I should have had a third kid.
By now I should have had kids.
By now I should have registered my kids in extracurricular classes.

How did you feel reading the above?

Have you noticed that dreadful word; should?

Should is such a heavy word that we need to question constantly; coupling it with an arbitrary deadline, such as “this many years into adulthood”, makes us feel much worse.

We feel less than, not enough and late to the party. Who decides who is invited and when the party starts, no one knows. We are just late. That’s what society taught us. So, we set too many goals but achieve none, and knock too many doors but don’t stick enough to see if one opens. We are too late to wait and find out.

I am here to tell you that yes, time is finite, but that makes it all the more worthy to spend doing what matters most to you, not what others say you should do.

Yes, you can’t do it all and have it all. Once you stop fighting that and accept it, you will see that the gift of time is to sharpen your big-picture most important goals, so you would seek only them and forsake the shoulds that are hunting you.

Your big picture goals are probably very different than mine, but the question is, why are you checking mine?

Reflect on where you want to be at the end of your life to uncover your most important goals and work backward from there to now, to your very next step right here.

Your timing is perfect.

By Now

What Would Make Today Great?

Bardees, , Leave a comment

This is a question in the morning section of the Five-Minute Journal -which I adore-that did not sit with me right when I first used it; because the answer, in my opinion, is always: me.

I used to think of the answer by looking over my day and what events I was expecting to happen, like receiving a shipment or a meeting going well. Then I shifted the way I read the question. I now ask myself every morning: How will I make today great?

It’s up to me to make today great.

I will make today great through my actions and attitude. Therefore, I answer this question with my intentions for the day such as being kind, leaving to/from work early, respecting my writing practice, and enjoying my time with my kids. Or I answer this question with my top three priorities for the day, or what the book Make Time calls “the highlight of the day”, which could be work-related like finishing a presentation or as simple as spending time with my husband.

So, yes, good things are about to happen today; YOU will make them happen.
New perspectives are going to emerge; YOU will start seeing differently.
Fantastic progress in your goals is actualizing; YOU finally realize progress is more important than perfection.

It is totally up to you.

You get to choose how you will show up today, tomorrow, and for the rest of your life. Please, don’t let yesterday’s mistakes ever hold you back from starting over. Not giving yourself permission to start over is, in fact, self-punishment. You are not making amends by remaining stuck. Choose to forgive yourself and move on. Forgiving yourself means believing you are worthy despite your mistakes. You are worthy of new beginnings. No matter what your darkness is trying to tell you, believe in your light because that is who you truly are.

P.S: Happy March, subscribe to my newsletter here to get the Sunday Spark.

What Would Make Today Great?

Self-Trust

Bardees, , , , 1 Comment

As I reflected on the last year, a theme that I had not anticipated emerged.

It’s self-trust.

  • I now trust that when I set powerful intentions, they come true, even if the how is not clear yet. By setting the intention to monetize my work at the beginning of the year, opportunities I never heard of presented themselves, and I got hired for the first time to teach my work.
  • By launching my first workshop at the end of the year, I now trust that I can generate income if I leave my job and start my own business.
  • I now trust that when I believe my work is worth so much, the universe agrees and I receive from sources I do not expect. For example, someone paid me back some money I gave a year ago on the same day of the workshop launch.
  • Now that it’s finally a habit, I now trust that meditation helps sharpen my intuition.
  • I also now trust my intuition more than ever; my gut feeling told me someone was bad news, and it was right.
  • I now trust that affirmations work, specifically repeatedly writing them in the morning.
  • I now trust that when I respect my menstrual cycle and rest more, I achieve more.
  • I now trust that when I start typing, meaningful words will appear, eventually.

Self-Trust

Senseless Waiting

Bardees, Leave a comment

I’m waiting for a shipment to arrive from abroad.

I’ve checked the shipping application several times, even though experience taught me this app’s delivery estimates are never accurate. Yes, the application is good for telling me something is on the way and to pay for shipping charges, but that is about it.

Why am I still checking it?

It’s desire.

Once the shipment is here, I’ll open it in 10 seconds, admire it for 2 minutes, start using it a few days later, and then my life will change. Right?

Of course not.

That’s what my mind wants me to believe, though.

My mind wants me to live in the future where I own that item, and I feel better about my life. It wants me to escape the present, the ordinary, a bit dull, present. My mind nudges me to grab the phone, one more time, and open that useless application as if it can speed up that fantasy future.

Wanting is resisting the present, and I choose to love my life as it is now, shipment or not.

Senseless Waiting

What Would the Best Version of You Do?

BardeesLeave a comment

I wish I would remember this question right when challenging situations arise in my life, not after them.

This question transfers us almost instantly to an elevated state of being. It re-orders consequences and gives us perspective. It shines a spotlight on the ripple effect of a yes, a no, or an outburst.

Asking this question brings forth the more powerful, rational, and empowered version of ourselves. We ask that best version or Self with big s to take over. We ask the Self to protect us from falling into the temptations of immaturity, impulsivity, and immediate gratification.

We need to remember that we have that Self inside of us at all times. We can call upon it using powerful questions like this one.

For good measure, I would add a little prayer, too.

What Would the Best Version of You Do?

Empathy Stretch

Bardees, Leave a comment

Last Sales Talk Tuesday, I shared with the team the beautiful word Sonder, which I first heard about from my mentor Seth Godin. Connecting with people is easier when we understand Sonder.

This definition by the dictionary of obscure sorrows is my favorite:
Sonder
n. the realization that each random passerby is living a life as vivid and complex as your own—populated with their own ambitions, friends, routines, worries and inherited craziness—an epic story that continues invisibly around you like an anthill sprawling deep underground, with elaborate passageways to thousands of other lives that you’ll never know existed, in which you might appear only once, as an extra sipping coffee in the background, as a blur of traffic passing on the highway, as a lighted window at dusk.

It perfectly aligns with a beautiful compassion exercise I learned from the amazing teacher Pema Chodron called Just like Me which the spiritual teacher Ram Dass explains below so eloquently:

  • This person has a body and a mind, just like me.
  • This person has feelings, emotions, and thoughts, just like me.
  • This person has experienced physical and emotional pain and suffering, just like me.
  • This person has at some time been sad, disappointed, angry, or hurt, just like me.
  • This person has felt unworthy or inadequate, just like me.
  • This person worries and is frightened sometimes, just like me.
  • This person will die, just like me.
  • This person has longed for friendship, just like me.
  • This person is learning about life, just like me.
  • This person wants to be caring and kind to others, just like me.
  • This person wants to be content with what life has given them, just like me.
  • This person wishes to be free from pain and suffering, just like me.
  • This person wishes to be safe and healthy, just like me.
  • This person wishes to be happy, just like me.
  • This person wishes to be loved, just like me.

Now, allow wishes for well-being to arise:

  • I wish this person to have the strength, resources, and social support they need to navigate the difficulties in life with ease.
  • I wish this person to be free from pain and suffering.
  • I wish this person to be peaceful and happy.
  • I wish this person to be loved . . . because this person is a fellow human being, just like me.

So powerful.

Empathy Stretch

A Self-Compassion Example

Bardees, , Leave a comment

It was a Saturday, I woke up feeling already overwhelmed by the back to back errands that all needed to get done that day. I felt I did not want to wake up. I felt that I wanted to hide under the bedsheets. I felt resistance, and even regret, due to committing to all this in one day because of a deadline the next day.

Then, I started to talk to myself gently. I put my hand on my heart and patted softly saying “It’s alright sweetheart, you can do this, it’s okay.” It really felt good. Just like we calm our children when they are having a hard time coping, we still have this inner child that stomps her feet whenever she feels too tired or not in the mood to go on. I observed my resistance and nurtured myself back to adulthood that morning.

I did not realize I even practiced self-compassion just like I learned in the book Radical Compassion until later in the day, this book got to me and I put it into action when the need arose. It is such a good book, and self-compassion never felt more clear to me than when I read this book. Give it a try.

A Self-Compassion Example