Month: February 2022

Notice the Mosquitoes

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I’m currently reading a book called How to Begin: Start Doing Something That Matters by Michael Bungay Stanier. It’s an excellent book/workbook about goal-setting for what he calls Worthy Goals.

I want to share a brilliant exercise in this book called Listing Mosquitoes.

“Your Worthy Goal comes with a cloud of its own Mosquitoes. These Mosquitoes are all the things you’re currently doing and not doing—secular sins of commission and of omission—that are contrary to this Worthy Goal you’ve set for yourself. You’ll find they’re numerous. Some are tiny, others more significant. No single Mosquito is fatal in and of itself, but together they irritate you, weaken you, slow you down, and distract you from your Worthy Goal.”

“Notice Your Mosquitoes: Write down the things you’re currently doing and not doing that are not leading towards your Worthy Goal. Actions and non-actions, big and small. Make them tangible and real.”

“This is you confessing, owning up to the ways you’re actively undermining your Worthy Goal, colluding against your own ambitions, scuttling your dreams.”

It especially resonated when he gave the example of his goal to “Launch a new podcast that is in the top 3 percent of all podcasts within 12 months”.

Michael shares what he is currently doing that is hindering his goal:

“Things I’m doing that are contrary to this goal include: investing in a consultant then ignoring her recommendations; setting a standard then immediately downgrading the ambition of the podcast to make it smaller; starting another, unrelated podcast that I can do in my usual small-scale way; being timid about the guests I’m inviting to the unrelated podcast; buying expensive podcast equipment then not learning how to set it up properly. Refusing to figure out the marketing.”

What he should be doing but is not:

“Things I’m not doing are even more numerous. They include: not creating a vision for the podcast; not setting a budget (time or money); not listening to other “role model” podcasts; not hiring a professional podcasting agency; not attending a podcasting conference; not learning about podcast marketing; not calling myself a podcast host; not exploring distribution partnerships.”

It made me think of my podcast as I approach its 2nd anniversary with host-on-mic only episodes. Do I want to maintain it or take it to the next level? What is this next level?

Thank you, Michael, for this rich book and enlightening concept. I am working my way through it.

Notice the Mosquitoes

Tips to Make the Most of Your Weekends

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A rejuvenating weekend is key to a productive work/school week ahead.

Here are some tips to prepare for your weekends.

  1. Check the weather; sunny weekends call for different plans than rainy ones. 
  2. Keep your partner or family members updated on your upcoming weekend plans at least two days ahead of the weekend and check in on their plans. I talk with my husband about the weekend on Wednesdays and let him know what I have in mind or already planned. If I have a morning of appointments or a night out with girlfriends planned out, he will make plans too. The same goes the other way around. 
  3. If you’re in the mood to go out somewhere nice as a couple, explicitly ask your partner and not leave it to chance. 
  4. Check IMDb ratings before watching a movie to have a pleasant movie night experience. 
  5. Check the expected homework load for the kids, which could impact family outings. In our household, we try to do most of the homework on weekends to have more leisurely evenings on school nights.
  6. As much as possible, run your errands and appointments and shop for groceries on weekends, preferably in the morning. This way, you’ll get done faster and relieve yourself from wasting precious evenings during the workweek. 
  7. Make sure visiting your parents, if geographically possible, is accounted for in your weekend plans. 

Weekends constitute 29% of your week. A well-spent weekend can renew your family bonds and help you make significant progress in your personal or home projects. 

Plan wisely.

Tips to Make the Most of Your Weekends

Self-Trust

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As I reflected on the last year, a theme that I had not anticipated emerged.

It’s self-trust.

  • I now trust that when I set powerful intentions, they come true, even if the how is not clear yet. By setting the intention to monetize my work at the beginning of the year, opportunities I never heard of presented themselves, and I got hired for the first time to teach my work.
  • By launching my first workshop at the end of the year, I now trust that I can generate income if I leave my job and start my own business.
  • I now trust that when I believe my work is worth so much, the universe agrees and I receive from sources I do not expect. For example, someone paid me back some money I gave a year ago on the same day of the workshop launch.
  • Now that it’s finally a habit, I now trust that meditation helps sharpen my intuition.
  • I also now trust my intuition more than ever; my gut feeling told me someone was bad news, and it was right.
  • I now trust that affirmations work, specifically repeatedly writing them in the morning.
  • I now trust that when I respect my menstrual cycle and rest more, I achieve more.
  • I now trust that when I start typing, meaningful words will appear, eventually.

Self-Trust

Overcome Friction to Master Habits

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Coming from an Industrial Engineering background and an excellent experience in Six Sigma projects, I like to catch defects in processes and improve them. Likewise, I enjoy noticing friction points in my day-day life and solving them. Studying and teaching Atomic Habits, in my podcast and videos lately, helped me hone this skill even better.

Here are some examples of solutions I implemented to friction points I had personally faced:

Friction PointSolution
I want to walk during working hours, but I wear heels.Bring running shoes with me and use them in breaks.
Nobody wears running shoes at work; it will be weird.Get comfortable all-black shoes suitable for walking and work like this one, keep them at work, and put them on for walks (my accountability partner’s suggestion). Or get over myself and the discomfort, maybe soon.
Not listening to podcasts on my new Airpods while taking a walk because I’m used to Bluetooth neckband headsets and fear Airpods would fall out.Use a cheap Bluetooth headset for walks.
Getting hungry at work, eating unhealthy food, and the hassle of ordering the food.

If I’m ordering food from a small place nearby, I don’t like thinking about what to eat, making the call to order it, or paying cash on delivery.

If I’m ordering from an app, I don’t enjoy browsing to decide my meal, verifying my credit card using a one-time password, getting contacted by the delivery man to double-check the address, or receiving my meal at varying times.		Bring a lunch box of fruits and veggies to feel less hungry.



Automate the food ordering process by subscribing to a healthy meals delivery service where I pay monthly, order weekly, and get contacted by the driver daily at about the same time to receive my meal.
Forgetting my phone charger at home or office.Buy a second one.
Noise outside my office disrupts my focus.Invest in a noise-cancellation headset and music.
Feeling sleepy and craving coffee after lunch, ordering coffee hassle, my favorite coffee not nearby.I magically found this instant drip coffee option from one of my favorite coffee places. I buy a box of 10 packets every two weeks. 
A 90-minute weekend class for my daughter, and the location is not near enough to return home.Prepare a list of errands to cross off during the class or take a walk in the nearby area.
Looking for stuff around the house, losing stuff, getting late asking about stuff.Have less stuff, less clothes, less socks, less toys and less paper. To do that, I need to turn decluttering into a habit, not a yearly project, which is my current focus.

Did this list remind you of solutions you too can take action on?

Many times, the reason you are not committing to your habits is not that you’re not disciplined enough or too lazy. Instead, the habit is not easy enough, and that’s perfectly okay. 

Embrace this simple law of habit change; make it easy. You are not too high-maintenance if you remove friction points. On the contrary, you are re-engineering your environment to improve your life. 

As James Clear says:

The less friction you face, the easier it is for your stronger self to emerge. The idea behind make it easy is not to only do easy things. The idea is to make it as easy as possible in the moment to do things that payoff in the long run.

Find the friction points then solve them. 

Overcome Friction to Master Habits

No Snooze Challenge -2022 Update

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I have been using an old-fashioned 5 JDs alarm clock for the past month because it has no snooze option, and I vowed to use it to wake up right away without attempting to ever reset it and it’s been working like magic.
One month later, my sleep quality has stabilized and improved mainly due to stopping the snooze. Moreover, I sleep earlier in winter anyway, which is one of the reasons I feel rested enough and able to wake up at 4 am consistenly lately. On weekends when I set the alarm at 7:30 am, for example, I noticed I naturally wake up earlier, after 6.5 hours of sleep. I don’t ever remember opening my eyes this early naturally, which is fantastic.

In one weekend or two, I felt tired, turned the alarm off, got my phone from the charging deck right outside the bedroom, and set a new alarm there. Yes, that too. Since getting the alarm clock, I have been keeping my phone out of the bedroom. It’s a piece of advice I’ve been reading over and over and finally tried and can attest to.

The quality of the alarm clock I got is basic, and if I’m too sensitive, the low humming sound it makes would annoy me, but it doesn’t. I may upgarde it soon to a nicer one, with no snooze option of course.

I highly recommend you purchase one too, but first, make sure you test its alarm sound; I once got an alarm clock from IKEA that might cause mini heart attacks when it goes off.

No Snooze Challenge -2022 Update

My Words of the Year 2022

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In the previous post, I shared with you why you should set a word for the year. Now I would like to share with you my three words for 2022.

Release:

(Dictionary definition: to set free from restraint, confinement, or servitude, to relieve from something that confines, burdens, or oppresses, to give up in favor of another, to give permission for publication, performance, exhibition, or sale, also: to make available to the public).

I have been using this word for months as a symbol of renewal and starting over whenever a new menstrual cycle begins. This year, I want to use it to remember to:

  • Release feelings of disappointment and sadness through journaling, conversations with close family and friends, and commitment to my spiritual practice.
  • Release beliefs that don’t serve me.
  • Release content consistently on my blog, podcast, and social media.
  • Release attachment to outcome and focus on the process.
  • Release clutter from my home continuously by making it a habit.
  • Respect my monthly menstrual release and plan my schedule accordingly.

Cherish:

(Dictionary definition: to treat with tenderness and affection; to nurture with care; to protect and aid). This word goes beyond focused attention. It’s my family word for this year.

  • It reminds me to enjoy my time with my kids because they will not be this young again, and that time passes by too fast if we’re not mindful.
  • I want to cherish time with our bigger family whenever we’re together. Most of them are in different countries and get together once a year.
  • I want to cherish my kids’ four healthy grandparents, take more photos, and be more present.

Prolific:

(Dictionary definition: marked by abundant inventiveness or productivity).

I’ve always loved this word when used to describe an author or an artist. I, too, want to generate a prolific body of work through committing to my creative writing practice, starting by committing to this blog, which will help me generate podcast episodes and material to teach in other formats.

I am really excited to live my words and live up to them. Wishing you the same.

My Words of the Year 2022

Why should you choose a Word for the Year?

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I have been choosing a word of the year since 2019, and I’m not planning to stop. Today I want to encourage you to pick yours. 

The Word of the Year is an exercise where you choose a theme or a priority for you in the new year. It could focus on your inner world, like a feeling you want to experience, or your outer world, like your behavior and choices, or it could be a quality you want to cultivate in yourself. 

This word would help you filter the decisions you make. It would encourage you if/when feel down and remind you of what’s important. It should make you feel alive and inspired. This word should represent an evolution for you. It declares what you want more of in your life. It’s important to remember to choose your word out of self-love, not due to the shame of your past mistakes. 

If you feel inclined, you can pick a mantra instead of a word to guide you throughout the year, just like I did last year, or one main word and two supporting words. 

Ryan Holiday also encouraged us to choose one word of the year in his Daily Stoic Challenge earlier this January. He says:

“What is important is that the word is not chosen for you in retrospect, by the course of events, because you couldn’t decide. You can see what that looks like if you reflect on where we have found ourselves as a culture these last few years. A lot of us have been calling 2021 “abnormal.” 2020 was “unprecedented.” Search 2016 stories on Google and it isn’t long before you run into the phrase “worst year ever.” In this way, every year seems to end up with its own word. The idea … is we choose the word for the year, instead of letting the year choose the word for us after it’s all over.”

The word of the year is the most fun exercise I do every year during goal-setting and my friends agree, and shared this with me: 

My friend Dina said:

“I have been applying the word of the year method for 3 years in a row. I like It because it is pretty simple but also sophisticated at the same time. The word of the year sets a momentum and an intentional theme for my year to design my professional and personal objectives around it and keeps me focused.”

My friend Diana said:

“Because of you, I picked my word for the year, which was courage, and God oh God, how much that affected me this year, I feel like a different person, mature and confident, so much changed and so much improved. I thank you for that and for your impact on my growth journey.”

A quick guide to help you choose your word of the year:

  1. Keep your ears and eyes open to words that catch your attention in songs, quotes, conversations, and books.
  2. Keep collecting favorite words and checking them against your goals of the year.
  3. Check #wordoftheyear hashtag or my latest post on Instagarm.
  4. Your word of the year is not a quick exercise; give it a few days, use time to narrow your list of words to your favorites.
  5. Your word of the year will speak to your heart and provoke powerful feelings in you.
  6. Your word of the year could come to you while walking or driving or right after you wake up. It will find you.
  7. I found out about One Word work by Jon Gordon recently, and it’s pretty interesting, check the resources here.  

When you finally choose your word of the year, share it with your friends! Keep it visible on your desk or on a whiteboard, on your phone, and even on your body as a piece of jewelry, if that’s your thing. 

To stay connected to it, incorporate your word of the year in your weekly/monthly/quarterly reviews using questions like: “How did I live my word —– last week?” 

So, have you picked your word yet?

It’s not too late. Start hunting. 

Why should you choose a Word for the Year?

Starting a New Job? Here is Some Advice.

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My friend is starting a new job soon, so I sent her this list of helpful reminders; maybe they will help you too:

  1. Starting a new job is uncomfortable; you are used to being the expert in your previous job, but now you will be the newbie. Not knowing all the answers is uncomfortable.
  2. Sit with the discomfort and accept it, realizing it is a temporary phase.
  3. Those first weeks are your golden opportunity to ask questions. You are expected to. Your new team will not look to you for answers for a while. Don’t act as if you have them; you don’t.
  4. It’s time to practice listening and hold off jumping to conclusions. Just listen.
  5. Set clear boundaries about what’s OK and what’s not OK, especially jokes and personal questions.
  6. Some employees will try to win you from day one. It’s nice to feel welcomed, but they are not your friends yet, let time show you who they are.
  7. Some employees will try to plant seeds about other employees. Please don’t take their word for it. Even if they trust or like another employee, that does not mean you should too. Let your own experience determine your relationships.
  8. Some employees would be so insecure that they will see you as a threat and try to sabotage you, keep your eyes open, and listen more than you talk.
  9. You have always said you want to leave work at work, so it’s time to walk the talk. Changing your job is a chance to change your work style. You may be used to taking work home and getting work done after your kids sleep, but people at your new job do not know that. The first step is to leave at 5 pm on day one, right when the official working hours end. You don’t stay late to prove anything to anyone. Instead, you become so efficient during working hours to shut down work entirely until the next day. If you stay late, on the other hand, you will set that as their normal expectations from you, while leaving at 5 pm would be abnormal.
  10. Changing your environment is a great way to start new habits and get rid of negative ones. Try taking your lunch box instead of ordering takeout, bringing your coffee with you instead of buying it, taking walks during lunch breaks instead of staying glued to your screen, listening to a new podcast in your new route, or changing your attire or hairstyle.
  11. Read the book The First 90 Days.

Happy probation!

Starting a New Job? Here is Some Advice.

Own Your Happiness

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This morning, I listened to a summary of one my favorite books on relationships on Blinkist: The Mastery of Love: A Practical Guide to the Art of Relationship by don Miguel Ruiz. As I did, memories came rushing back, of a 10-year younger me on a 9-hour flight back home after the honeymoon, when I found this book on audio in the educational section of that tiny plane screen, and having watched a movie or two already, I started listening to it. 

I couldn’t miss the irony and the serendpity of listening to it as a bride, because this book told me that that my happiness was not in his hands, my oblivious sweet groom by my side. Can you imagine that? I found out, as we were about to start a new life together, that marrying my hudband did not mean giving him the responsibility of my happiness or its keys. No one can take such an essential role but me. 

I remember feeling a bit shocked because I was well on my way on the self-development track; however, the author presented the idea so eloquently that I genuinely got it for the first time. 

A few days later, I vividly remember cleaning and decorating my new home while continuing to listen to this book after I found it online. Its radical ideas impacted me significantly, although it took some time to believe them.

Own your happiness, my friend. You even become more attractive when you do. It is your responsibility. Your partner’s happiness is their responsibility. You come together to share your happiness, not create it.

That’s a relationship secret I wish more people would find out. 

Happy V-day!

Note: after finishing writing this post I felt it was too familiar, only to find I wrote a very simliar (better?) post about this story 9 months ago. Alas, my writing for the day is done so I am posting anway, and I am sure someone here needs to hear it today!

Own Your Happiness

How to ignore provocations?

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“Epictetus reminds us that we need to pay attention to what matters and to learn how to ignore so many of the relentless provocations that come our way.”

-The Daily Stoic Journal

Here is a current list of personal triggers:

  1. A phone call from that particular co-worker.
  2. Some sticker messages in WhatsApp group chats.
  3. Explaining something for the second time because someone was not paying attention the first time.

Here is how I will ignore my petty provocations:

  1. A phone call from that particular co-worker: Do not answer the call (until I remember their good intentions, which is getting their work done). 
  2. Some sticker messages in WhatsApp group chats: Delete them. 

Here is an insight about the third one:

  • Explaining something for the second time is probably necessary, not because the other party was not paying attention; it’s probably because they did not understand me the first time, which means I was unclear. Clear communication is my responsibility. Interesting, yes?

Here is how I will ignore this provocation:

3. Explaining something for the second time: Take a breath and use this as a chance to get creative in my communication style. 

Provoactions ignored!

How about you? Are you aware of your triggers? 

If you can’t change them, for now, how will you ignore them?

How to ignore provocations?