I have been applying the highlight-of-the-day idea, which I learned from the book (Make Time), with my goals group members for around six months, and it has been wildly successful in helping them focus during the day.
How do we do it?
At the start of the day I encourage them to share the goal of the day, which is one thing that, if they finish, would call the day successful. And then, at the end of the day, the group members share the status of their goals.
This daily goal habit helps them define “a successful day” on their own terms and not leave this evaluation to chance. In addition, they get to avoid the feeling of a wasted day many of us have if we don’t start it with intention. I also usually encourage them to share a maximum of three goals as they are sometimes inclined to share their entire to-do list.
My friend and group member told me that this daily goal habit helps her fine-tune her estimate of the time it takes to finish a task and improve it gradually to avoid the planning fallacy we humans are so prone to.
I also share my daily goals with the group because I love the accountability we create; I need to do it because I said I would, and if tasks do not get done, I provide reasons.
Sharing daily goals is also an excellent way to offer mini-coaching sessions if I notice a pattern. For example, a group member set a goal to “finish studying the material.” Some questions I asked:
What do you mean? Does it mean you want to stay up all night to finish it, no matter what? (the answer was no)
How much time do you really have to finish it?
Why not change the goal from “finish studying the material” to “Allocate 120 focused minutes to study” This goal? You can achieve!
When it comes to goals, time is usually the most critical factor in achieving them. How much time can you allocate to do what you say you want to do? Setting the goal this way helps you win, and we all need to feel these wins adding up, or else we will give up on planning before it becomes a habit.
At the beginning of every day, ask: What’s your one goal today? or, what are your top three goals? Remember, any other tasks you come up with need to go to a “Might Do” list; do them if you have time and energy, as author Ali Abdaal advises.
Last year, I recorded a video series with a dear friend discussing the Power of Now book. We enjoyed this collaboration and went deeply into the topic, and the outcome was 36 episodes averaging 15 minutes each.
By saying that the now is all there is, and that we are happiest when we live in the now, many felt I was contradicting myself as someone who promoted time management and planning in my podcast and other videos.
How can we think ahead while also living in the now?
Planning and being present do not contradict each other; planning helps you live in the now.
When you schedule your time in blocks, you don’t need to keep thinking of the future because you have already decided what you would work on next.
When you plan, you ideally write your top 1-3 priorities of the day, so when other shiny things show up, you stay focused on those priorities or switch them up to deal with emerging demands.
When you plan, you don’t suffer from that sudden sinking feeling of remembering an overdue task.
Planning your time helps you stay present and confident that you are right where you need to be, doing the right things. There is no sense of wanting to escape the moment to a past or future one. This state empowers you to block distractions and promotes deep work mode, the most important kind of work that advances you in strides, versus the shallow fire-fighting mode that still takes place but much less so.
When we plan our goals, it’s the same; we set our destination then focus on the daily habits and actions that we can control today to reach it or something better, we hope. Attachment to outcome is when we stop living in the now; releasing attachment is a life lesson we need to be willing to learn.
So go crazy planning, but don’t get stuck there.
Action is in the now. It is where the magic happens.
A rejuvenating weekend is key to a productive work/school week ahead.
Here are some tips to prepare for your weekends.
Check the weather; sunny weekends call for different plans than rainy ones.
Keep your partner or family members updated on your upcoming weekend plans at least two days ahead of the weekend and check in on their plans. I talk with my husband about the weekend on Wednesdays and let him know what I have in mind or already planned. If I have a morning of appointments or a night out with girlfriends planned out, he will make plans too. The same goes the other way around.
If you’re in the mood to go out somewhere nice as a couple, explicitly ask your partner and not leave it to chance.
Check IMDb ratings before watching a movie to have a pleasant movie night experience.
Check the expected homework load for the kids, which could impact family outings. In our household, we try to do most of the homework on weekends to have more leisurely evenings on school nights.
As much as possible, run your errands and appointments and shop for groceries on weekends, preferably in the morning. This way, you’ll get done faster and relieve yourself from wasting precious evenings during the workweek.
Make sure visiting your parents, if geographically possible, is accounted for in your weekend plans.
Weekends constitute 29% of your week. A well-spent weekend can renew your family bonds and help you make significant progress in your personal or home projects.
You can do it all, but not at once. This is a piece of wisdom that I frequently go back to. The first time I heard it was probably from Oprah. Still, every time I hear it, it feels like news to me and like a soothing balm to my anxious yearnings.
The amazing Derek Sivers reminded me of it in his interview with Tim Ferriss. He said this is the advice he would give to his 30-year-old self. At that age we feel paralyzed by too many choices and the fear of choosing the wrong thing. What Derek says is just choose something, stick with it for a few years, then switch to something else.
I meet a lot of 30 year olds who are trying to pursue many different directions at once, but not making progress in any, right? Or they get frustrated that the world wants them to pick one thing because they want to do them all. I get a lot of this frustration like, “But I want to do this and that and this and that. Why do I have to choose? I don’t know what to choose.” But the problem is if you’re thinking short term, then you’re acting as if you don’t do them all this week that they won’t happen.But I think the solution is to think long term, to realize that you can do one of these things for a few years and then do another one for a few years and then another. -Derek Sivers
A book I recommend that mentions this idea is Designing Your Life, the authors call it prototyping Odyssey plans. Here is an excerpt for you.
We’re going to ask you to imagine and write up three different versions of the next five years of your life. We call these Odyssey Plans. Life One—That Thing You Do. Your first plan is centered on what you’ve already got in mind—either your current life expanded forward or that hot idea you’ve been nursing for some time. This is the idea you already have—it’s a good one and it deserves attention in this exercise. Life Two—That Thing You’d Do If Thing One Were Suddenly Gone. It happens. Some kinds of work come to an end. Almost no one makes buggy whips or Internet browsers anymore. The former are out of date and the latter are given away free with your operating system, so buggy whips and browsers don’t make for hot careers. Just imagine that your life one idea is suddenly over or no longer an option. What would you do? You can’t not make a living. You can’t do nothing. What would you do? If you’re like most people we talk with, when you really force your imagination to believe that you have to make a living doing something other than doing That Thing You Do, you’ll come up with something.
Life Three—The Thing You’d Do or the Life You’d Live If Money or Image Were No Object. If you knew you could make a decent living at it and you knew no one would laugh at you or think less of you for doing it—what would you do? We’re not saying you suddenly can make a living doing this and we can’t promise no one will laugh (though they rarely do), but we are saying imagining this alternative can be a very useful part of your life design exploration. -Designing Your Life: How to Build a Well-Lived, Joyful Life
I’ve never done this exercise before but maybe it’s time I do.
“Motion makes you feel like you’re getting things done. But really, you’re just preparing to get something done. When preparation becomes a form of procrastination, you need to change something. You don’t want to merely be planning. You want to be practicing.”
-James Clear
I love this idea so much by James Clear in Atomic habits. Reading it for the first time was a lightbulb moment for me. I do love my motion so much. I spend so much time planning and tracking. Being aware of the difference, however, helped me realize I may be acquiring clarity but not actually making progress towards my goals.
This week, after a super first quarter of the year, I gave myself permission to enjoy motion only. I spent my mornings doing the first quarterly review of the year on 2 different planners, mind you, plus re-thinking and re-writing of my goals for the second quarter, and simply reading. I did not record a new podcast episode. I did not create a mid-week post for Instagram. I just enjoyed the motions.
This on-purpose break is the exact thing I needed. I’ll make it happen more often, maybe this is how each quarter should actually start. As a result, I am definitely feeling more ready to jump into action again.
If You Don’t Know Where You’re Going, How Will You Know When You Get There?
Lewis Carroll
We evaluated the past, we dreamt of our future and we came up with goal ideas.
It’s time to write our goals in detail and this is the juicy part you’ve been waiting for. Once you learn how to write one goal you will be able to write all goals.
My favorite teachers in goal-setting are the late zig Ziglar, one of the most amazing motivational speakers who ever lived, and the author and entrepreneur I frequently mention here Michael Hyatt, reading “Your Best Year Ever” was indeed an eye-opener for me. And of course, Lara Casey whose work helped us get to this step.
I take no credit coming up with the goal-setting methodology in this blog post, some steps were quoted as they appeared in “the 7-step goal setting process” by Zig Ziglar and “Your Best Year Ever” by Michael Hyatt whose methodologies I combined here because I strongly believe they complete each other. I’ll also leave you few references at the end.
Here are the Seven Steps of Goal Setting that I recommend:
Please dedicate one page in your notebook for each goal to cover the seven steps.
IDENTIFY THE GOAL:
Zig Ziglar says: “If you don’t identify a target you will never hit it. When you identify a goal it means that you write it down and describe it clearly. Don’t set any vague targets. If you want to have specific success you must have specific targets.”
In order to define a goal properly the goal needs to check 7 boxes and be a SMARTER goal. SMARTER is a twist from the usual SMART goals we have probably encountered in the workplace so instead of meaning Specific, Measurable, Actionable, Realistic and Time-keyed, SMARTER stands for.:
Specific: The goal needs to be clear, writing a vague goal is a way to hide from working on it. Unclear goals will waste your time and energy. A vague goal would be: “exercise more”, and the way to make it specific is “Go to the gym 3 times a week, Sunday, Tuesday and Thursday“ Another fuzzy goal could be “improve my relationship with my parents” and we can make it specific by writing “Call my parents every day”.
Measurable: A goal needs to have some criteria of achievement to know when we reach it. For example, “Lose some weight” is better than “get in shape” but “lose 6 Kilos” is a much better goal because we have made it measurable and makes success way more delicious.
Actionable: The goal needs to start with a verb of action. “Be a better parent” is not an actionable goal. “Spend evening quality time with each of my kids every day” is a goal you can actually track and will result in warmer connection with your kids. Whenever you start a goal with a Be verb, ask yourself what can you actually do to make this goal happen?
Risky: If you know for sure that you’re going to achieve the goal that means you have set the bar too low and you are not stretching yourself enough. Setting a trivial goal is another way to hide in goal-setting process. The goal needs to make you feel uncomfortable a bit. If your initial goal was “improve your sales by 10%” why not make it “improve your sales by 30%” if your goal was to “Save 1500 JDs in 6 months” why not make it 3 months instead? A study showed that “difficult goals are far more likely to generate sustained enthusiasm and higher levels of performance.” Some ways to make the goal riskier is increasing the target and shortening the deadline. Also if you make the goal grandiose that would be another way to hide. It is a recipe for guaranteed failure in goal achievement.
Time-Keyed: The goal needs to have a deadline for achievement. If you don’t set a deadline for completing your goals you will not be able to be accountable to yourself, or anyone else. If you are not accountable for your goals you will not achieve them. Not all deadlines need to be 31 Dec. Hyatt says “Distant deadlines discourage action”. If you are setting annual goals make sure to spread them out so you have two to three priorities every quarter. However, if your goal is a new habit you want to cultivate then then deadlines don’t make sense so the time frame related could be the frequency of the habit, for example you are going to meditate 10 minutes every morning at 5am.
Exciting: This attribute in SMARTER framework is my personal favorite. The goal needs to be exciting for YOU! This is the key difference between a project and a goal. Every Goal (achievement goal) is a project but not every project is a goal. We are all working on different projects at work for example, it’s when the outcome feels exciting that projects become goals. Maybe the work needed to complete a goal is not exciting like the goal of decluttering the kids’ bedroom, but I bet that the outcome of an organized and clear bedroom is pretty exciting.
Relevant : This is the final attribute of a goal, it’s like a sanity check if the goal actually makes sense. Is the goal relevant to your season of life? Are you a mother with very young children and you want to launch your own business? Maybe you can push this goal for another couple of years so you would have the energy and time needed for a new business. Maybe your goal is “travel to 4 countries during the year” while you have another goal “Achieve all objectives at your new role at work”. These 2 goals might be conflicting, and you need to decide what’s more important. The goal should be aligned with your season of your life, your other goals and your own big picture vision of yourself at age 80.
2. LIST THE BENEFITS – WHAT’S IN IT FOR ME?
We only do the things we want to do and are willing to do.
Zig Ziglar
This is your Key Motivations list which you will go back to when the excitement of starting a new goal fades away. We already said the goal should be exciting and in this step you define the WHY. You need to specify what you will get by achieving the goal. This is very important to pump you up whenever you read it or if/when you forget why you are pursuing the goal. The reasons need to be personal and you need to connect with them both intellectually and emotionally. You need to be clear on your gains when you get the goal accomplished and what’s at stake if you don’t. It would be great if you could define who or what will be impacted in your life by this achievement.
3. LIST THE OBSTACLES TO OVERCOME:
If the goal was easy you would have done it already, no? This time you are going to list all the potential issues that might arise as you work towards your goal. They could be external obstacles or internal ones concerning your discipline and willpower. Zig Ziglar recommends asking a trusted friend who knows you well to help you finish this step.
Michael Hyatt also recommends preparing if/then scenarios for each anticipated obstacle. Example (if it rains, I’ll use a raincoat during my daily walk), (if I am offered sweets I will say no, I don’t eat sweets anymore), (if people interrupt me during my deep work sessions, I’ll ask them to note the noise cancellation headset and come back later).
4. LIST THE SKILLS AND KNOWLEDGE REQUIRED:
“Knowledge gives us the power to accomplish things we would not otherwise be able to do, and skills give us the tools to take advantage of our knowledge. There is a direct relationship between knowing and doing, and successfully accomplishing your goals will require that powerful combination. “
Write what you might need to learn to make your goal successful, what books to read and courses to take. You might consider improving some gaps you have in soft skills like patience, time management and discipline.
5. IDENTIFY THE PEOPLE AND GROUPS TO WORK WITH:
“People do a better job when we have the help of others. They can help us with knowledge and skill and can offer valuable advice we need to be successful. So when you set your goals always consider the people and the groups you can work with that can help you be more successful. “
You might arrange a phone call with someone who accomplished a similar goal to help you get started or book a coach.
6. DEVELOP A PLAN OF ACTION:
This is the most critical step and it involves thinking through the details of how you will achieve your goal. While your goals should be in your discomfort zone, your next steps should be in your comfort zone. E.g. call someone, research this topic, pay course fees…etc.
For my goal “launch podcast in March 2020” the plan of action was:
-write podcast introduction
-record podcast introduction
-ask Yarub Samirat for permission to use his music in my podcast
– listen to his album Ya Salam again to select the music piece
-edit the music piece with intro, write a trailer for podcast
-select a platform to host my podcast …and so on.
7. SET DUE DATES FOR ACTION ITEMS:
Define whether the action items you set are short term or long term, if short term; set a time to complete each task which will help you meet your goal deadline. Add the proper reminders on your calendar and task manager application.
Final tip:
Make your goals visible so you can read them every day. You need to write the list of your identified goals (done in step 1) in one page which you can review every day. It’s best if you commit to review them in detail (esp. Key motivations) every week.
CONGRATULATIONS!
You have spent time planning your life way more than most people around you. Be proud of yourself!
Now it’s time for action.
You can listen to this blog post in Arabic through episode 10 of my podcast:
“The reason we don’t set goals is that we’re afraid. We’re afraid of saying a goal out loud, even to ourselves, and certainly afraid of writing it down. We’re afraid of trying to achieve a goal and failing. And, surprisingly, we’re afraid of reaching our goals, because reaching them means our lives will change, and change is often at the center of our fear. “
Seth Godin
We all know that writing something makes it easily remembered. In this post I gathered for you some resources to convince you that writing your goals is very important for achieving them.
In Your Best Year Ever, Michael Hyatt shares the research done by Professor Gail Mathews who conducted a study that confirmed the power of writing down our goals.
“She tracked 267 professionals from several different over 5 weeks by dividing them into five groups. men and women from all over the world, and from all walks of life, including entrepreneurs, educators, healthcare professionals, artists, lawyers and bankers.
She divided the participants into groups, according to who wrote down their goals and dreams, and who didn’t.
Matthews discovered that the simple act of writing one’s goals boosted achievement by 42%. “
Who of us wouldn’t like more chances of goals achievement? Writing them does that.”
Study after study shows you will remember things better when you write them down. Typically, subjects for these types of studies are students taking notes in class.
“Mueller and Oppenheimer (who conducted this study) postulate that taking notes by hand requires different types of cognitive processing than taking notes on a laptop, and these different processes have consequences for learning. Writing by hand is slower and more cumbersome than typing, and students cannot possibly write down every word in a lecture. Instead, they listen, digest, and summarize so that they can succinctly capture the essence of the information. Thus, taking notes by hand forces the brain to engage in some heavy “mental lifting,” and these efforts foster comprehension and retention. By contrast, when typing students can easily produce a written record of the lecture without processing its meaning, as faster typing speeds allow students to transcribe a lecture word for word without devoting much thought to the content. “
“Writing things down happens on two levels: external storage and encoding. External storage is easy to explain: you’re storing the information contained in your goal in a location (e.g. a piece of paper) that is very easy to access and review at any time. You could post that paper in your office, on your refrigerator, etc. It doesn’t take a neuroscientist to know you will remember something much better if you’re staring at a visual cue (aka reminder) every single day.
But there’s another deeper phenomenon happening: encoding. Encoding is the biological process by which the things we perceive travel to our brain’s hippocampus where they’re analyzed. From there, decisions are made about what gets stored in our long-term memory and, in turn, what gets discarded. Writing improves that encoding process. In other words, when you write it down it has a much greater chance of being remembered.
Neuropsychologists have identified the “generation effect” which basically says individuals demonstrate better memory for material they’ve generated themselves than for material they’ve merely read. It’s a nice edge to have and, when you write down your goal, you get to access the “generation effect” twice: first, when you generate the goal (create a picture in your mind), and second, when you write it down because you’re essentially reprocessing or regenerating that image. You have to rethink your mental picture, put it on the paper, place objects, scale them, think about their spatial relations, draw facial expressions, etc. There’s a lot of cognitive processing taking place right there.”
And Finally, once more in “Your Best Year Ever” , Hyatt makes a compelling case to go ahead and write our goals due to the following reasons:
1. It forces you to clarify what you want. Clarity is a precondition for writing.
2. Writing down goals helps you overcome resistance.
3. It motivates you to take action.
4. It filters other opportunities. Establishing your priorities up front equips you to intentionally avoid what some call “shiny object syndrome.”
5. It enables you to see—and celebrate—your progress. Written goals can serve like mile markers on a highway. They enable you to see how far you have come and how far you need to go. They also provide an opportunity for celebration when you attain them.
Ready to write your goals? Dedicate a notebook for your goals and start now. This doesn’t have to be perfect, make a mess now.
Next post, you will learn how exactly to write our goals in a way that helps you achieve them.
You can listen to this blog post in Arabic through episode 9 of my podcast:
After reflecting on the past we need to look forward. But wait. Hold off your goal setting eager soul for just a bit. We are going to write our goals next time. Today, we are looking forward, way forward. We are dreaming about our future. We are doing that because we need more clues to know what really matters to us. Matters enough to transform into goals that we can write in detail next time.
In her PowerSheets, Lara Casey encourages us to think about our future in the big picture. If we determine what matters most to us in the big picture we will work harder to achieve it, we will get back up from setbacks faster and keep going.
Step 1:
You can uncover your most important life mission by asking:
Where do you want to be at the age of 80?
Make 2 lists.
What will matter to you most at the age of 80?
What will not matter to you at the age of 80?
Some of my personal answers when I did this exercise were:
What will matter most to me: strong loving relationships, good health, work legacy, exploring the beauty of the world, abundance, wisdom.
What will not matter: complaining, FOMO (fear of missing out on online lives of other), owning the latest gadgets, kids’ tantrums, how I look in photos, comments and likes received on my posts, number of followers.
This question adds a sense of purpose to your goals and what you do every day. Does your to-do list today or this week serve your big picture vision of yourself? Do they match at all?
We need to be also be super clear on why we want to make this big picture happen. If our how does not work our why will help us find another how.
Add a few points stating why it is important for your big picture to become a reality for you. This would be aligned with your values and creating feelings of joy and satisfaction that you lived the life you wanted.
For example: my why for strong relationships is that powerful connections make feel alive and my heart full.
Have you noticed how your goals are getting clearer now? Your evaluation of the past and your big picture dreams are helping your heart know what it is your need to get started on.
Now for a very inspiring part.
Step 2:
What themes did you discover?
Spend some time reviewing all your answers from part 1 and the big picture answers. You will notice recurring themes of areas that make you your heart sing and areas that need serious work to be back on track. Use a marker or a highlighter to circle or star those areas and then summarize them in few sentences.
This step took me around 30 minutes to do when I first did it. Some themes that popped up were:
Meaningful connections with family and friends. Slowing down. Self-Care. Spiritual practice commitment. Moving my body. Seeking new experiences. More fun. Go back to writing. Keep teaching.
Step 3:
Transform themes into goal ideas.
It’s time to transform those themes into goal ideas that you can start working on now. They emerged as themes for a reason. They are probably those dreams that felt most important to you in the big picture and maybe those that had the lowest ratings in your life audit. Notice that maybe there is a lot to work on and that might feel a little overwhelming. This is why we worked on selecting what matters most to you. Goal ideas are easier to define after going all through the previous exercises. We’re only writing ideas and we will get into structured goal setting next post.
Some of my goal ideas:
Theme: teach moreà Goal idea: launch a podcast, revive my blog.
Theme: Spiritual practice commitmentà Goal idea: commit to the habit of meditation.
Step 4:
What are you saying No to?
What are you saying Yes to?
Lists are fun to do so now we are going to make 2 new lists of things we will say no to that hold us back from being our best selves and say yes to things that expand our happiness and joy. These things could be inner thoughts/beliefs, habits/behaviors, things/possessions and type of people/relationships that we need to release and say no to in the next year/season or keep and embrace and say yes to more often.
Personal examples:
No to: eating after 7pm, buying without replacing, sleeping less than 6 hours, meaningless outings
Yes to: planning family meals, finishing what I start, power naps.
Step 5:
Choose your word of the year
This word will inspire you when you are down, sharpen your focus, and will remind you of what is important.
How to come up with your word of the year?
Your answers to all the previous exercises will guide you, it could be a verb, an adjective or even a small phrase. What do you want to do/be/have MORE of this year?
You can google “word of the year ideas” and see what comes up and other people’s choices, it is so much fun.
Reminder: You can change your word of the year whenever you want, it does not have to be perfect and it is not final!
Write your word of the year on card and place it somewhere prominent that you will see every day.
My word of the year 2019 was Teach
My word of the year 2020 is Clarity.
Ready to learn how to set your goals in detail?
Share photos of your goal setting notebooks with me in the comments or on my social media accounts. It is especially important to write down your goals in pen and paper, and I will tell you why in the next post.
You can listen to this blog post in Arabic through episode 8 of my podcast: