Perfectionism is misplaced creativity

In his 5-day Beyond Perfect Challenge that ended yesterday, the author Jon Acuff came up with a new definition for perfectionism that I would like to share with you today.

Perfectionism is creativity with misplaced focus on fear instead of hope.

This is how it operates:

  • It avidly tries to protect us from failure and rejection and criticism.
  • It worries we wouldn’t be able to handle them if they take place.
  • It prevents us from starting new habits because then, it believes, we need to commit forever, which is impossible because life will get in the way, so why even start?
  • It complicates our goals to make them more perfect, so they would become unachievable.
  • It does not allow us to finish what we start because then we will need to show what we made to the world and get subjected to the above-mentioned failure or criticism.
  • It makes us imagine what might go wrong, but rarely lets us imagine what if it goes right.
  • It considers any achievement less than 100% as nothing.
  • It compares our beginning to someone else’s middle.
  • It causes us to burn out by believing perfect results are attainable.
  • It makes us focus on outcomes we can’t control rather than our efforts which we can control.
  • It believes in “the hard way or no way”.


This was some of what I learned from the generous information Jon shared in the challenge and from reading his book Finish . He’s offering a course and lifetime access to the challenge here if you are interested.

Perfectionism is misplaced creativity

Work Desk Must haves

Yesterday I shared about my whiteboard, a key element in my office that inspires me.

Today, I will share what I also keep at my desk in front of me at all times:

On cardboard paper:

  • My Work Goals for the quarter (it’s very important to keep your goals visible)
  • My work affirmations (added just recently).
    • I am committed to being a leader, an initiator, an over-communicator and fast deliverer at my job.
    • I am committed to getting better and better at my job.
    • I am committed to communicating clearly and effectively.
    • I am committed to giving generously to others, the more I give, the more I receive and the happier I feel.
    • I am committed to expanding in abundance, success and love and inspiring others to do the same

On post-it notes:

  • My mantra of the Year: Practice Focused Attention. Maybe I need to rephrase into a question: Are you practicing focused attention? Much more powerful, no?
  • My workday startup ritual steps, including the check-in questions.
  • My workday shutdown ritual steps, including the check-out questions.

Since writing my ritual steps on post-its last month I’ve been committing to them more. In addition, I set an alarm 30 minutes before workday end to remind me to start my shutdown ritual and leave on time.

I hope you find this helpful to you.

Snapshot from my work desk showing some of the above

Work Desk Must haves

Weekend Plans

I imagined this Saturday going a whole different way but a spontaneous family outing idea changed that.

You see, spontaneity is something that still doesn’t come naturally to me. I love to know how my days would look like, especially weekends.

Here in Jordan, we still have complete lock-downs on Fridays (the first day of the weekend) and the weather was too cold last weekend, so saying no to this outing would have meant skipping 2 weekends in a row.

Moreover, creating family memories with my 2 kids is very important to me in my big picture goals. Being lighthearted, easy-going and fun is something I’d also like them to remember about me, therefore I said yes and went along for the ride.

Past me would have stayed home because that was the plan. If I was physically tired I still would have stayed home. In the future I still want to plan weekends ahead of time. Luckily, today I had the energy to both remember my goals and act on them when the chance presented itself.

I am glad I did.

Weekend Plans

Saving Accountability

Yesterday, I sent this text to my accountability partner:

I bought a new Kindle book for the amount of 8.99$. I am letting you know as I plan not to buy to more books in the coming 90 days. If I do buy, however, I must tell you what I bought and how much I spent, even if it cost 0.99$ only. Please ask me about this in our weekly calls. Also note, I am not depriving myself since I still have my monthly audible credit to look forward to use.”

I once heard good advice from the author Ramit Sethi, that whenever you want a book just get it, because books are valuable and one idea in the book will be worth it. I love that advice, however, the accumulation of unread books in my Kindle library and also physical space is not making me feel that good. More is not better. This new accountability will make me think more before buying a new Kindle book and help me overcome my digital/knowledge hoarding habit.

I also need to save more money. I think the why of saving money is not super crystal to me yet, so I need to write my why to help me commit.

Continue reading “Saving Accountability”
Saving Accountability

100 Days

April 10th was the 100th day of the year. Doing my overdue first quarterly review, I’d like to keep here my achievements. Here it goes.

In the first 100 days of the year I:

  • Launched 10 podcast episodes.
  • Grew my all-time podcast downloads to +14K and subscribers to +1500 according to player FM.
  • Wrote 69 posts for this blog.
  • Committed to 1-hour LIVE sessions on Instagram for 8 consecutive weeks.
  • Committed to writing and sending my weekly newsletter “The Sunday Spark” (nearly 500 subscribers).
  • Was hosted as a speaker for a 1-hour virtual event at a global company where 300 employees attended live.
  • Appeared on 1 TV interview and 2 radio interviews.
  • Practiced digital decluttering for 45 days.
  • Grew my Instagram followers by +2500 with generous support.
  • Added 20 new members to the Sunrise Winners whatsapp group that I manage.
  • Traveled once.
  • Finished Life of Focus course.
  • Committed to good habits like meditation, reading a course in miracles, 2-min workout, bedtime story and walking.
  • Read and thoroughly enjoyed 4 books (Time Smart, Think Small, Rapt, Girl Stop Apologizing)

P.S. Yesterday I broke the chain of writing daily that I started on Feb 1st. Writing my weekly newsletter gave me the illusion I accomplished this task, and being it a national holiday, my routine was completely disrupted that I only remembered I didn’t post while in bed way after 12am.

100 Days

Recommit

You broke your diet?
You binged on social media and Netflix?
You yelled at your kids again despite your intentions to be a calmer parent?
You stopped meditating?
You stopped working out?
You gossiped again?
You stayed up way too late?
You slept in way too late?
You let your books collect dust?
You broke the chain of your new daily habit?
You checked your phone first thing in the morning?
You did not do what you said you would?
You let the gas tank go empty?
You went to bed with makeup on?
You did not return that phone call?
You kept picking up your phone while with family?
You kept picking up your phone in your focused session?
You got the gift last minute?
You forgot to drink water?
You postponed that task one more time?

Good! Now you are aware this is not what you want.
Forgive yourself and simply recommit.
That is the beauty of a new day.

Recommit

How To Do a Weekly Preview

Note: Michael Hyatt uses the term preview not review on purpose because in this practice we are not just reviewing the past, we are also preparing for a better week ahead based on the insights we gain. So without further ado here it is:

The Weekly Preview Practice according to Full Focus Planner by Michael Hyatt.

Continue reading “How To Do a Weekly Preview”
How To Do a Weekly Preview

Keep Your Goals Visible

Today I wrote my work goals for the year on a white cardboard paper to keep them on my desk visible to me all the time like |I did last year.

I spent the first 6 weeks of the year analyzing and reporting last year’s performance and preparing for a kick off meeting presenting all my findings. Now that this task is done I’m back to working on my objectives for the year. Seeing them written in front of me reminds me of my priorities and keeps me focused.

Continue reading “Keep Your Goals Visible”
Keep Your Goals Visible

Hello February

Austin Kleon beautifully quoted his friend on twitter saying “We expect too much from January, and not enough from February” and said we need to change this perception. I thought this was so accurate.

This year, however, I’m already expecting a lot from February after I designed January 2021 around quiet reflection and past year review. I’m planning to start working on my goals and implement the insights I had in February. Winter break for kids is going to be over very soon so my morning and evening routines will change with this and the end of online schooling (for now). Let’s all make the best of this lovely short month. Let’s really start walking the talk. As James Clear says in Atomic Habits quote below: Less motion, more action.

When you’re in motion, you’re planning and strategizing and learning. Those are all good things, but they don’t produce a result. Action, on the other hand, is the type of behavior that will deliver an outcome. If I outline twenty ideas for articles I want to write, that’s motion. If I actually sit down and write an article, that’s action. If I search for a better diet plan and read a few books on the topic, that’s motion. If I actually eat a healthy meal, that’s action. Sometimes motion is useful, but it will never produce an outcome by itself. It doesn’t matter how many times you go talk to the personal trainer, That motion will never get you in shape. Only the action of working out will get the result you’re looking to achieve.

– James Clear

Hello February

Digital Declutter Challenge Update – Week 2

I am happy to report that my phone usage has dropped to an average of 4 hours a day compared to my pre-challenge 6 hours average in best case scenraios.

My Whatsapp usage didn’t decrease overall, however my whatsapp scattered screentime has been optimized and I found the challenge getting easier in week 2 as I updated Whatsapp rules to the following:

  1. Whatsapp’s hourly usage is open until 9am when I get to work due to the voice notes I love to send and receieve from my friends who wake up early especially during my walk or commute.
  2. I block whatsapp when I start getting dressed and applying makeup to leave for work because I might get distracted by messages if I check them.
  3. I set work profile for whatsapp as 7 minutes/hour until 6pm.
  4. If I need whatsapp for work communciations I use whatsapp web which I don’t think is distracting at all.
  5. I still block whatsapp between 6pm and 9pm, this step has had the most magical impact on my evening routine and impproved quality of attention to my family.

I am getting bored fast with gmail and I kept the habit of cheking it after lunch break as a transitional activity between break and work.

I have noticed that I am remebering my dreams vividly since starting this challenge. It’s like the decrease in images entering my brain is making it easier for my brain to retrieve its own creations. Interesting, no?

I am also reflecting on the importance of real-time sharing. Do I really need to stop reading and share that book quote snapshot with my groups on spot? Is it really necessary to interrupt admiring the sunset and start talking about the beauty of its image with family memebers? Do I have to share the kid’s cute game while they are playing it and thus leave them? if not physially, attentionally?

This is something I will really take into account when ending this challenge. I love to share cool things I read or photos I take or podcasts I listen to. Changing this might mean I take screenshots or photos all day and share them all at a specific time with my family and friends, or add them to to my social media stories. I will always remember what I wanted to share if I just look into my gallery. If I feel the urge I will say to myself why now? can it wait? maybe add it to my awesome weekly newsletter Let’s see where this goes.

Read all about week 1 here.

You can listen to this update in Arabic in episode 16 of my podcast below:

https://bardees.simplecast.com/episodes/16

Digital Declutter Challenge Update – Week 2