Author: Bardees

Homework Success

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During this online learning era, I find that homework sessions with my 7 and 5 year old kids fail if I do the following:

  • Look up homework as they are by me waiting to start because I already called them
  • Have high expectations
  • Dive directly into homework without checking the concept s well understood
  • Feel Sleepy or hungry, any of us.

The success of homework sessions depends on me being very well-prepared beforehand, teaching/reviewing concepts, then going through homework. Many concepts are not captured well enough via screens. That cost me the first semester. This time I know better

Homework Success

A Decluttering Technique That Works

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I’ve made so much progress in my relationship to things in the 7-week lockdown in 2020. I totally fell in love again with my house after spending so much time making room for air and light to enter and throwing things I have not touched for years. I learned it’s a process and not a one-time project from the book Decluttering At The Speed of Life which I highly recommend to anyone who wants to improve their relationship to possessions. I’m so proud that my dresser is still organized the same way I did it one year ago. Unfortunately, I can’t say the same about my clothes and kids’ bedrooms, though. We as family still need to make decluttering a continuous habit because we really felt the positive impact of finding our belongings easily and enjoying what we own.

Last week, I was asked to clear out my office desk (apart from my desktop, mouse, keyboard, phone set and desk plant) as it needed to be sterilized by a special team while we worked from home for a few days because sadly COVID-19 is at its peak in my country Jordan these days. I obliged and took what I wanted back home while keeping most of my desk usable/decorative items in the office’s closet.

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A Decluttering Technique That Works

The Basic Dos And Don’ts of Accountability Partnerships

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I have had an accountability partner for over 2 years, with whom I share my weekly review and goals for the new week. Our relationship is one of the most important ones in my life and as I encourage others to create such partnerships I feel the need to lay out some basic rules for beginners to make the best of it.

Do:
Review status of goals set for the past week.
Share what worked and what didn’t.
Share how you will improve this week.
Share your goals for the week ahead.

After your partner does the same:
Challenge your partner about their goals and deadlines:
Their goals might be unclear, conflicting, too big or too small.
Their deadlines might be too distant or too soon.

Get Curious:
Ask why they didn’t do what they said they would.
Ask why this week would be any different.

Encourage them to set implementation intentions for their goals by specifying the when and where and how of the goal.
Let them think it through with you if needed.
Keep a fixed time of the day or the week for check-ins, a weekly call is ideal.
Ask for more check-ins if you need it.

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The Basic Dos And Don’ts of Accountability Partnerships

Spiritual Excel Sheet

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When I get stuck on a task I don’t enjoy or did not do before or that has a lot of ambiguity, I feel I need to muster my strength and power through it using the practices I learned and proved to work before; like research, analysis, using timers for deep work sessions. I think to myself get focused and get it done. I noticed I never pray for guidance and feeling ease because my work task is so earthly and Divine guidance is not part of the equation for me. Not only that, but I had a limiting belief that this is not where we use spiritual practices, and that we should only use them in relationships and managing emotions.

But why not for work?

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Spiritual Excel Sheet

Permission to Shine Granted

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“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

This amazing quote, written by Marianne Williamson and frequently attributed to Nelson Mandela, has been a source of inspiration for me many more times that I can count. It’s been used in movies at pivotal moments, like Coach Carter and Akeelah and The Bee (both starring Samuel L. Jackson, so I think it’s personal for him).

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Permission to Shine Granted

Whenever You Pick Up Your Phone…

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Ask these 3 questions that I learned from the book “How To Break Up With Your Phone?”:

What For?
This question reminds you to have a good reason to pick your phone for, what do you want to do with it? Reply to something? Make a call? Search for information? Or just pass time?
Why Now?
This question forces you to check your emotional and physical state. Where are you now? What are you doing or should be doing? With whom? Are you bored? Uncomfortable? Anxious? Or simply trying to avoid others?
What Else?
What else can you do with your precious time or to feel better now other than using your phone? Could you go for a walk, journal a bit, take a few deep breaths or simply have some water?

Super Questions to keep in your mind and maybe use as a lock screen image like the author suggests.

Whenever You Pick Up Your Phone…

No book will save you

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Don’t get me wrong. A book after another saved me when I needed saving. But it’s time for me to stop “the hunt”. And you too.

You will save you. You appreciating what you already gained. You using all the resources you have instead of looking for the new shiny thing out there. You getting engaged with the ideas you read. You implementing what you learn. You taking action and learning from your own mistakes. You learning from others’ mistakes without having to go through their whole experience. You reflecting on your days and weeks and months and years. You changing course when things stop working. You pushing forward knowing it only might be the dip. You announcing your commitments and living up to them. You sharing what you think. You asking for feedback and accepting it as the gift it is from the generous souls in your life. You showing up without seeing tangible progress daily trusting that the compound interest will be totally worth it.

It’s you first.

Then find people who are like you and carry on together.

You can’t do it alone.

No book will save you

This is How You Get Better

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This is how we get better in knowledge areas we’re interested in:

  • We read about what we want to learn about.
  • We improve how we think/work/live by implementing what we learned.
  • We share about it by writing/podcasting/art making…etc.
  • We read some more.
  • We fine-tune what we learned and keep sharing.

As I commit to writing more here daily, I am finding that I am better understanding the topics that interest me most and get me so eager to share about in this space and in other mediums.

It’s really fascinating.

This is How You Get Better

Wake Up For Something

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I got up this morning to create the 20th episode of my podcast. That was my why.

Find something to wake up for every day.

Think about it before falling asleep and imagine yourself getting it done.

Sometimes we forget it’s a blessing that we’re still here to give and choose to sleep in.

Create then take a rewarding midday nap. That’s what I did.

Wake Up For Something

Minimum Creative Dose

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When I love a book so much and want to talk about it on my podcast or videos, I like to immerse myself in the ideas of the book by listening to them explained in the author’s own words in his/her podcast interviews about the book or through book summaries on Blinkist app. This is what the author David Kadavy called “A Minimum Creative Dose” in his book “Mind management not time management”.

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Minimum Creative Dose