You can do it all, but not at once.
This is a piece of wisdom that I frequently go back to. The first time I heard it was probably from Oprah. Still, every time I hear it, it feels like news to me and like a soothing balm to my anxious yearnings.
The amazing Derek Sivers reminded me of it in his interview with Tim Ferriss. He said this is the advice he would give to his 30-year-old self. At that age we feel paralyzed by too many choices and the fear of choosing the wrong thing. What Derek says is just choose something, stick with it for a few years, then switch to something else.
I meet a lot of 30 year olds who are trying to pursue many different directions at once, but not making progress in any, right? Or they get frustrated that the world wants them to pick one thing because they want to do them all. I get a lot of this frustration like, “But I want to do this and that and this and that. Why do I have to choose? I don’t know what to choose.” But the problem is if you’re thinking short term, then you’re acting as if you don’t do them all this week that they won’t happen. But I think the solution is to think long term, to realize that you can do one of these things for a few years and then do another one for a few years and then another.
-Derek Sivers
A book I recommend that mentions this idea is Designing Your Life, the authors call it prototyping Odyssey plans. Here is an excerpt for you.
We’re going to ask you to imagine and write up three different versions of the next five years of your life. We call these Odyssey Plans.
Life One—That Thing You Do. Your first plan is centered on what you’ve already got in mind—either your current life expanded forward or that hot idea you’ve been nursing for some time. This is the idea you already have—it’s a good one and it deserves attention in this exercise.
Life Two—That Thing You’d Do If Thing One Were Suddenly Gone. It happens. Some kinds of work come to an end. Almost no one makes buggy whips or Internet browsers anymore. The former are out of date and the latter are given away free with your operating system, so buggy whips and browsers don’t make for hot careers. Just imagine that your life one idea is suddenly over or no longer an option. What would you do? You can’t not make a living. You can’t do nothing. What would you do? If you’re like most people we talk with, when you really force your imagination to believe that you have to make a living doing something other than doing That Thing You Do, you’ll come up with something.
Life Three—The Thing You’d Do or the Life You’d Live If Money or Image Were No Object. If you knew you could make a decent living at it and you knew no one would laugh at you or think less of you for doing it—what would you do? We’re not saying you suddenly can make a living doing this and we can’t promise no one will laugh (though they rarely do), but we are saying imagining this alternative can be a very useful part of your life design exploration.
-Designing Your Life: How to Build a Well-Lived, Joyful Life
I’ve never done this exercise before but maybe it’s time I do.