Sometimes, even though you know all the facts about your life, you still need someone to say them out loud to you to remind you when you get hard on yourself or drown in comparison or feel behind.
My friend reminded me:
You have a full-time job
You have a family and young kids
You have a house to run
You have a podcast that you care about most
You are writing daily
You are doing your best
I hope you have a friend like that.
I have this lie in my head that I need to read something new before I am able write. The lie says I don’t have anything to say today. I did not listen to a new podcast or audiobook or read in my books or any new article. It was a family day, what is there to write about?
The lie is so persistent. I feel edgy. I feel the need to go read one or 2 chapters to get inspired then come back to writing.
I know all what they say about writing, you just need to show up, set a timer and type until that timer goes off and get done with it. Just type.
Ok here I am typing. But I don’t have anything to say today and people are writing way better than I write. Why am I doing this?
I am sharing those lies with you that Jon Acuff calls Soundtracks, maybe you can recognize one of your own?
Wonder with me. How better I would feel in a few minutes when I hit “publish”, and how much worse if I wake up tomorrow knowing I missed my daily post on purpose.
That’s why I need to stop writing at night. The resistance is at its highest with too many excuses to count. In the morning this rarely happens. I need to respect my creative routines and make this process easier not harder.
I shared with you the excuses and lies my mind are telling me to sabotage my new writing habit.
I did not listen. Not only that, but I’ve been also showing up here for three consecutive month.
I’m proud and grateful.
I’m happy to report that based on Rescuetime reports my digital habits have indeed improved in April where my average daily consumption decreased by 70 minutes compared to March 2021 to be 6h21m.
I have not posted much on Instagram compared to March which might be the reason my screentime decreased. Hence, my followers’ growth was the slowest so far this year.
What’s working:
What’s not working:
In May, I want to post more while still respecting my family time evenings and my official working hours.
Let’s see how this goes. I feel hopeful that I almost found the formula that works for me and my digital sanity as a content creator.
The books that really helped me change my relationship to stuff and homemaking are the ones by the author Dana K. White.
Dana’s approach is what resonated with me the most during my big decluttering project that took place in the 7-week lockdown this time last year.
Today, I started listening to her amazing podcast as I went about my spring-cleaning because I felt so much overwhelm as I looked at the clutter that accumulated over time at my kids’ rooms and remembered how much better I felt listening to her guidance.
Lucky for me, Dana happened to make a recent episode summarizing her unique decluttering approach. For example, she emphasizes the point of never creating piles of stuff when you declutter, because if you ever get distracted or interrupted for any reason you would have made the place look worse than when you started. We also first tackle trash to feel visible progress, like throwing away broken stuff, empty packages, old paperwork and so on, and that instantly reduces the amount of stuff we have in the room and improves how it looks.
Dana knows what she is talking about ; I highly recommend you read her 2 books: How to Manage Your Home Without Losing Your Mind and Decluttering At The Speed of Life. They were dear companions to me last year and I will go back to them as I clear up more space in my house this season.
If only we could gather in bottles those high energy elevated feelings of times when we are at our best, to spray some when we need them in tougher times, wouldn’t that be great?
Or, we could examine the components of our high energy state by asking what’s happening inside us and around us.
Here are the notes of my current fragrance:
Next time I want to feel this way I just need to look at what I can control out of this list and make it happen.
What is on your list?
I read a comment the other day on Marie Forleo’s blog where a lady said that her trick to avoid decision fatigue, in addition to planning her weekly meals, is planning her work outfits every weekend! I thought this was genius because this crossed my mind a couple of times, especially when I skip this step in my evening routine because I feel too tried to decide and end up late to work next day trying to creatively match my outfit. Not to mention how this is so embarrassing given I wake up at 5am for my morning routine, which surely does not include outfit creativity.
So, I am not saying I am committing to weekend outfit planning just yet, I am saying I will definitely try it now that the weather is becoming reliably warmer. Also, I do get Mr. Obama and Mr. Zuckerberg’s choice of daily uniform more than ever.
While Journaling this morning I noticed that during the recent 3-day family vacation I could easily play and act goofy with my kids.
One reason is their sweet age of 7 and 5, which means much less care-taking activities around the pool compared to previous years. During our stay, I looked at the toddlers’ pool with some admiration but more of a relief that I am skipping it along with the 10 visits to its bathroom.
Another reason I played more with them is not having the option of doing something else “more productive” around the house like laundry or cleaning. With my full-time job and occupied evenings of doing and submitting their homework I only get to play with them for a short time, but while playing I do not feel at ease, like I need to get going to the next thing on my list which might be their dinner or bedtime preparations. Staying present in this case is a challenge for me and I know they could tell. However, this new-found awareness will help me start noticing the habitual, yet ignorable, unease during playtime. That’s what it is, an old habit of mine.
Another actionable insight I got is that I may need more help around the house, more than the current schedule of once-a-week visit by my mother’s helper, to be able to do other things like care-free play with the kids. True, this could be just an excuse I’m making for not playing more often. Or, based on how I felt in the last few days, it is exactly what I need.
Vacations are still a new dynamic for us as family. This change of routine and its impact on our relationships is why we need them.
I am one of those people who gets pretty excited whenever there is a software update for my phone or for a favorite app like Evernote (I’ve been loving their recent desktop version updates so much by the way). I make sure to read the release notes and notice the design changes in the user interface.
When I download a new app I almost always take screenshots of the introduction tutorial presentation. I enjoy the wording the developers/designers carefully curate and images they select to match it. These habits and screenshots feed my visual taste of what looks good and what doesn’t. It’s a very important skill to hone because taste does get better with experience and practice.
Are you working on your design skills?
A great day is a good mix of coffee, books, a body of water, favorite songs, great company and a fresh breeze flirting with your hair.
I’m starting to feel like a real writer taking some time away from my family while on mini-vacation to use my mini-laptop to write today’s post.
I already spent some time in the morning before leaving to our vacation destination getting my weekly newsletter ready, to have it ship tomorrow right on schedule.
Writing in a hotel room and scheduling newsletters are stuff I never did before. I feel so professional committing to my practice. I am becoming who I want to be. It feels different because I made these promises myself. There is no “have to” taste in this at all.
One last note-to-self: write more posts and have them on queue for longer vacations in the near future, hopefully.