The author James Clear shared a great perspective in one of his podcast interviews about taking care of who you follow on social media.
He said curating your feed is like building your own village online and deciding who lives there and whose ideas get access to your mind. He also shared that he spent tens of hours selecting who to follow/unfollow. Thanks to these efforts, his twitter feed is now so rich of brilliant ideas that expand his horizons and provide him with great insights.
It’s a fresh perspective indeed on an important idea we heard many times. We might really need apply it by dedicating some time every week cleaning up our “following’ lists so we that get educated, inspired and motivated every time we log in to any of our favorite platforms.
Pausibility. What a lovely word I ran into 1 year ago when I was writing an assignment for altMBA.
There is much magic that go on when we take a pause, and the one I’m talking about today is during conversations. Have you ever thought why are we so eager to skip pauses?
You see, I’ve been the kind of person quick to fill the silence in conversations, business and personal ones. I couldn’t stand the tension. I had a coaching session about this issue with my altMBA coaches where they helped me practice silence in conversations by counting to 5 between full sentences. That was so hard! Looking inward during that silence, I felt unease in my heart, like I was taking up too much space and time out of people in front of me, and they might have other things to attend to than give me their full attention including my pauses. What an insight of a limiting belief I had. That was also a very good explanation why I used to (I hope) talk so fast.
I am happy to report that my phone usage has dropped to an average of 4 hours a day compared to my pre-challenge 6 hours average in best case scenraios.
My Whatsapp usage didn’t decrease overall, however my whatsapp scattered screentime has been optimized and I found the challenge getting easier in week 2 as I updated Whatsapp rules to the following:
Whatsapp’s hourly usage is open until 9am when I get to work due to the voice notes I love to send and receieve from my friends who wake up early especially during my walk or commute.
I block whatsapp when I start getting dressed and applying makeup to leave for work because I might get distracted by messages if I check them.
I set work profile for whatsapp as 7 minutes/hour until 6pm.
If I need whatsapp for work communciations I use whatsapp web which I don’t think is distracting at all.
I still block whatsapp between 6pm and 9pm, this step has had the most magical impact on my evening routine and impproved quality of attention to my family.
I am getting bored fast with gmail and I kept the habit of cheking it after lunch break as a transitional activity between break and work.
I have noticed that I am remebering my dreams vividly since starting this challenge. It’s like the decrease in images entering my brain is making it easier for my brain to retrieve its own creations. Interesting, no?
I am also reflecting on the importance of real-time sharing. Do I really need to stop reading and share that book quote snapshot with my groups on spot? Is it really necessary to interrupt admiring the sunset and start talking about the beauty of its image with family memebers? Do I have to share the kid’s cute game while they are playing it and thus leave them? if not physially, attentionally?
This is something I will really take into account when ending this challenge. I love to share cool things I read or photos I take or podcasts I listen to. Changing this might mean I take screenshots or photos all day and share them all at a specific time with my family and friends, or add them to to my social media stories. I will always remember what I wanted to share if I just look into my gallery. If I feel the urge I will say to myself why now? can it wait? maybe add it to my awesome weekly newsletter? Let’s see where this goes.
I have started a month-long digital declutter challenge on January 1st 2021. This is my 2nd time so my hope is I have learned from some of the mistakes of my previous challenge that I did almost 2 years ago.
As advised by Cal Newport in his book Digital Minimalism and in his course with Scott H. Young Life of Focus these are the steps I followed.
Step 1: Divide the technologies used in personal life into the below:
Optional Technologies (as in being away from them would not get me into trouble): Facebook/Facebook page manager/ Facebook business suite/Instagram/ Netflix/ Twitter.
Mixed Technologies:
Whatsapp after working ours
Gmail: not using it might cause communication hang-ups but also it’s a key source of distraction for me.
Audible/Spotify: they are not mandatory of course but they are key source of learning for me. Please note work email is not part of the challenge as this challenge is about personal life technologies.
Mandatory Technologies:
Whatsapp- during working hours: used for work and meetings updates and also by kids’ school.
Step 2: Remove the optional technologies and set rules for the others:
On day -1 of the challenge I have created the following rules:
Remove Facebook apps from my phone with plan not to check them all month.
Remove Instagram and IGTV from phone with plan to check DMs and comments once a week from laptop in order to avoid the “forbidden fruit” feeling.
Remove Netflix from from phone and only watch it on big TV screen with family or one show episode if alone.
Check Gmail once a day at a fixed time for 15 minutes
Limit Whatsapp usage time and block it between 6pm and 9pm which is family/homework/bedtime routine time.
The Actual of Week 1:
Facebook: I needed to check a replay of a webinar on Facebook that I subscribed to before starting this challenge so I opened facebook on web browser to watch it and wasn’t really the least interested to see what those red notifications were about. I’m also opening it temporarily for few days to follow up on a limited-time group for very useful decluttering challenge where I saved the Facebook group link for direct access skipping newsfeed and can’t see any notification.
Instagram: 100% commitment, at the end f of week 1 I spent 20 minutes checking and replying to DMs and comments on my posts through Facebook business suite on web which feels like an email manager without all the scrolling, Thanks to my friend Nadia for this idea. I also set up auto-reply telling friends I’m away for the month with my email address, so I am not sure I’ll log in to Instagram next week. Confession: I asked a friend to tell me how many followers I got while she was already on her Instagram. It is worth mentioning, however, that I felt relieved a bit of the commitment/pressure to post and engage regularly. I’m gaining back space and renewing my creative energy that I can use for other types of content that matter so much to me like my podcast and blog.
Netflix: 100% commitment.
Gmail: 100% commitment but noticed that I prefer to check it right after lunch break not in the morning, as a transitional leisure time back to work. I noticed also that what really wastes time is what I actually click on in my gmail not gmail itself. Clicks takes me to so many places: shopping, reading, checking statistics of my content, and guess what? Instagram missed me and sent me an email update at the end of week 1 for the number of followers I got! feeling so threatened dear IG? that was funny, i didn’t even realize instagram sends emails, or actually most of us are not giving them the chance to. Back to gmail, I’m trying to be more mindful about not opening new links without reading those opened links in my tabs from the day before. I might also consider feedly again, but not sure yet.
Whatsapp: What’s working: 6pm-9pm Whatsapp block is working so well for me. What’s not working yet: I set out to use Whatsapp 45 minutes only but that was unreasonable compared to my previous behavior of 60-90 minute average so I tried 75 minutes but time was up by 2pm then I tried 90 minutes and time was up by 5:30pm. Then, I started experimenting limited hourly Whatsapp time dividing 120 minutes by 14 waking hours (minus the 3 hours blocked), so I get around 8 minutes /hour and the app I use helps me track that so I’ll try this technique between 9am and 6pm and report back.
A funny cosmic incident happened in week 1. My smart watch galaxy e-fit-which was only allowed to show SMS/Whatsapp sender names notifications plus calls- stopped pairing with my phone! I guess/wish it is conspiring to help me in this challenge, I hope it’s a temp hiccup and that I don’t need to replace it. I’m happy it’s working fine as my steps tracker though.
Finally I am excited to report that I am enjoying my evening times the most with this challenge plus less kids’ homework load during January , so more fun time with kids. I’m putting them to bed then checking my Whatsapp which has become like a treat.
You can listen to this update in Arabic in episode 14 of my podcast below.
We practice goal setting all the time in business settings. If you’re an employee you usually receive your goals every year or every six months, which would align with the strategic goals of the company. At the end of the semester, you review your achievements with your boss against the defined goals, you discuss what worked, what didn’t, and why.
However, we usually coast through our personal lives, letting things happen to us and reacting as necessary. We are not charting our own paths to where we want to go. We are walking pre-defined paths for us. That’s why our days and years look a lot like each other. We are not living goal-oriented lives, we are not living on purpose. This gap in goal setting between our work life and personal life was an insight that clicked for me in a conversation with a business leader and a mentor I’m lucky to have met called Iman Mutlaq. I’ll be always grateful for helping me notice this.
It’s true, many of us set new year’s resolutions, but resolutions without a plan are not goals, they are only hopes and aspirations, and that’s why they fail by mid-February.
Lucky for you, I have good news. Goal setting can be done anytime. You can do it at the beginning of each year, on your birthday, every month, every quarter, or whenever you decide to pursue something new. As Lara Casey always says: “There is nothing magical about January 1st“.
In this series, I will share with you what I have learned about goal setting from my favorite authors on the subject Michael Hyatt and Lara Casey.
This Post is part 1 of 4.
Goal Setting Starts in the Past.
Your past has only one value, learning from it. Reviewing your past will help you design the right goals for yourself. If you start goal setting by reviewing the past you’re more likely to set meaningful goals that you will invest time and effort to achieve.
First: Do a Life Audit
Our lives are multi-faceted as Michael Hyatt asserts. Our lives are not just our careers or health or families. These life domains are all connected. When we’re not doing well in one domain of our life we can feel it impacting the satisfaction we have in other areas.
We start the life audit by rating the key life areas on a scale from 1 to 10 where 1 means you are not satisfied and want to see a big change there and 10 means you’re happy with how you’re showing up in this domain. While at it, write a few words about the reason you selected the score for each domain. State facts and how you feel, honesty is key here because the opportunity for improvement starts taking shape now, the lowest scores indicate the bigger opportunity to make a change.
Life domains are differently grouped depending on the writer, you can add categories or remove those that don’t apply to you. Feel free to make your own life categories that work for your unique life.
The categories I recommend are:
Health: How you feel about your body.
Mental/Emotional: How you feel about your psychological well-being.
Relationships: How you feel about your relationship to:
Spouse/Significant other
Friends
Family
Finances: Your personal or family’s financial situation
Work: Your job, your 9-5, and side projects.
Spiritual Growth: Your connection to God.
Learning: Your educational development.
Personal Environment: Your home and work environment.
Fun & Recreation: Your hobbies, playtime, relaxation, and adventure experiences.
Service & Contribution: how you serve the world/volunteering.
You can also take an assessment I really like by Michael Hyatt to assess how you are generally doing in life’s different domains by answering a series of helpful questions. Make sure to save your answers so you can go back to them after a while. I guarantee you will see improvements after you commit to setting goals in areas where your satisfaction was the lowest.
Second: Evaluate your past.
Select how far you’d like to go in your past, 6 months, one year, 3 years? Answer accordingly.
I assumed you want to go back one year and wrote the tips accordingly:
Start with the positive: While our human tendency is to remember the negative first, it is recommended to start with the good. This will help us have the energy to complete the past exercise. Write a list of the wonderful things that happened to you. What are you most proud of? What worked well last year? A few ways to remember:
You can consult your family and friends to remind you of your highlights
You can check your social media posts to remember
You can go through your camera roll.
You can check your calendar or planner.
You can check your goals from last time, and celebrate what’s done.
You can check your past financial statements, this will remind you of your priorities and events.
Name the challenges: Write a list answering questions like what did not work this past year? What disappointments or regrets did you experience? What goals did you want to achieve but did not? What were some blocks you faced? What achievements did you want to be acknowledged for but were not? It is hard to write our answers here. But power through it. This list will guide your focus when you set your goals, your challenges are your biggest opportunities for improvement.
Distill the lessons: What did the positive and the negative from the past year teach you? Make them into short sentences of wisdom that you can repeat over and over to yourself.
Third: State what you are grateful for.
Gratitude time: Write the names of people who helped you during this past year. Find a way to thank them for specific things they did for you or ways they stood by you. Feeling gratitude is one thing, expressing it to those who caused it is an another level. They will be so surprised, and you are going to make someone’s day.
Bonus Step
Identify your hidden opportunity. The opportunity principle states that feelings of dissatisfaction and disappointment are strongest where the chances for corrective action are clearest. Consider your setbacks this past year, and brainstorm how they might point you toward your next opportunity.
Now you are ready to move on to the next step of goal setting which is: dreaming about the future.
New post coming up soon.
I’m deeply grateful to Michael Hyatt and Lara Casey for all that they taught me about Goal Setting that I have shared in this blog post.
You can listen to this blog post in Arabic through episode 7 of my podcast:
Define your why. The first thing I ask people who want to start waking up at 5AM is why do they want to do that? What’s missing that waking up would help them accomplish? Waking up at 5AM is not for everybody, especially not for those who already have the time to work on their self-improvement activities like journaling, reading, planning and so on during the rest of the day. Or those who appreciate their nighttime outings and want the freedom of going out any night of the week without thinking they will wake up at 5AM the next day. Write your why, which will motivate you when you lose your initial enthusiasm. Maybe it would be something like: I don’t want to feel the morning rush ever again. I want to feel I can start my day slowly and with intention. I want to go to work with my to-do list ready. I want to increase my knowledge/self-awareness/muscles.
Work on your evening routine first. Observe your current bedtime and what gets in the way of sleeping on time. How does going out affect your bedtime? Notice your habits of consumption at night, whether content on TV or social media or food or caffeine. It is recommended to cut off coffee 6 hours at least before bedtime in many studies.
Create something to look forward to in the morning. Examples could include fancy coffee or hot beverage, or a mug you get especially for this habit. A new shiny notebook and set of pens. An exciting book you want to read. An online course you subscribe to.
Dedicate a corner in your house for your morning time. It could be a chair facing a window, it could be your kitchen table or a small desk you get especially to place your morning tools on it. I used an old outdoor table as a makeshift office for years before replacing it with my shiny new office from IKEA a few months ago.
Look for or ask some friends to join you in this new habit for accountability and to create momentum. It’s much more exciting when you wake up knowing others are sleepy but awake like you. You can create a WhatsApp group and send good morning to each other, like I do with my small group. You can also ask to call and wake up each other if you don’t show up on time.
If no one is interested to join your challenge in creating this habit, start a public challenge on your social media announcing your implementation intentions (this early, this many days) and report on your story daily indicating how super early you are and how far you are in the habit. This is how I started and how I recommitted to it.
Speaking of social media, post that update or send good morning your 5am group then put your phone far away for an hour at least to do the things you wake up for. You can’t underestimate the allure of your phone screen and how it will steal precious minutes and attention from you if given the chance. I set appblock on strict mode the night before to guard my morning routine.
Change your alarm ringtone, you got so used to your current one and your body is learning a new habit, so it needs a new trigger, Also put your alarm (I’m assuming phone) far from your hand’s reach so you have to stand up and walk to turn if off, and you might as well leave the bedroom as planned.
Remember the 5-second rule. When you hear the alarm, count down from 5, 5-4-3-2-1, and launch out of bed like rockets launch into the sky. This would not give enough time for your foggy self-talk to start, which wants you warm and cozy in bed, forgetting and abandoning your budding habit.
If your feel too sleepy after you wake up and want to go back to bed, remind yourself how you would feel in 2 hours if you stay awake and true to your new habit. Like I did once, blast some music in your earphones and do some jumping jacks to wake up that body.
Make your habit rewarding. Use a monthly calendar to cross off each day you wake up with a big fat X. Don’t break the chain of X. Include the X in your social media photo.
Set a reward for yourself when you complete X number of days in a row. Make it so attractive and worthy of your efforts.
Remember, it takes an average of 66 days to make a new routine a habit. Keep going. Don’t assume it has become a habit too soon by giving yourself days off way too early. If you quit too soon you might think you are fine, and you don’t need it, but before you know it the old symptoms that propelled you to start will come back. They will not feel so great.
Prepare for failure. Set a rule that if you break the chain, you don’t break it more than 2 days. Don’t let the perfectionist in you say it’s all or nothing (I thank this book for teaching me this). Forgive yourself and jump back to it because your previous efforts are not wasted. New neural pathways are being forged in your brain as you are creating this habit, and they will stay there for the days you break the chain as long as you go back.
Anything I missed? What’s your favorite tip? let me know your own secrets to waking up early.
