habits

One Month of Daily Writing

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With this post I hereby announce I have committed to my new practice of writing daily on this blog for a whole month. It’s such a good feeling to have a quick win already so early in the year.


Currently, my writing habit context is so tightly associated with my work office and not home office, so last weekend I almost went to bed without writing my daily post, hence posting at 11pm yesterday. Accordingly, I need to start getting my writing done so early in the day in weekends to keep my practice and not miss a day by mistake or due to being too sleepy to remember.

During this month, I have noticed I’m starting to pay more attention to beautiful words I am reading to include them in future posts. I also realized that I need to try writing more than one post per day when I feel the flow in order to have some writing in queue and not necessarily post stuff the same day of writing them.

This means I will keep writing daily as one of my official annual goals for this year, and maybe, have this as a permanent practice?

That is the dream I don’t dare to share just yet.

One Month of Daily Writing

For The Love Of Timers

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My podcast short format artwork, featuring Time Timer

I use timers all day long, they are one of my favorite tools to keep me conscious of time passing and to motivate me to do daily tasks.

My first timer was a digital kitchen timer that I used to track my morning routine and and to get myself started on house chores like washing dishes.

Then I got this big, gorgeous timer for my kids called Time Timer that I am featuring in my photo above to help them visualize what I mean when I say they need to do just 5 minutes of clean-up for example and to manage their screen-time, so when the timer goes off the TV gets turned off.

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For The Love Of Timers

Anticipate

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Anticipate is one of my favorite words. If we think about it in terms of work and projects, it is really helpful.

Anticipation helps us plan better if we:

  • Anticipate changes.
  • Anticipate obstacles.
  • Anticipate questions.
  • Anticipate expenses.

Anticipate is another term for risk management in projects or how we might do a SWOT analysis. It is, in this case, a guiding direction.

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Anticipate

Evening Reflection Questions

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I mentioned in my evening ritual post that I like to end the day with reflecting on the day using the five-minute gratitude journal which has an evening section consisting of 2 prompts:

  1. 3 Amazing things that happened today…
  2. How could I have made today even better?

I am happy I built my gratitude habit so well that I find it so easy to answer question one. I still get stuck sometimes answering question 2 because sometimes I really feel I gave it all I got that day. That’s why I try to ask myself this question in a different way, making it more specific, like:

  1. How might I have been harsh, uncaring, unfriendly, or unkind today?

Below are some other good reflecting questions shared by Ryan Holiday to give yourself a pat on the back on the progress you are making.

  1. What bad habit did I curb today?
  2. How did I improve today?

More reflections questions I loved (and shared here before) from the author Tasha Eurich

  1. What went well?
  2. What didn’t work?
  3. What did I learn from this?
  4. How will I be smarter tomorrow or next time I face this?

The internet is full of good questions to use for reflection, do not overwhelm yourself. What is important is you start this end-of-day reflection habit. Choose one to three questions only to answer every night to make the habit as small as possible so you would stick to it. Keep your reflection journal on your pillow so you will see it when you go to bed and remember to do it.

Happy reflection!

Evening Reflection Questions

Skin Care & Self-Awareness

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Yesterday I went to work with leftover makeup from the day before that I tried to update in the morning with some compact powder and fresh lipstick. The reason is I went out that night and was too tired to take off my makeup when I got back, and also didn’t manage my time in my morning enough with driving to school back on. Any skin care specialist would be horrified to read what I did since that is a big no no in the skin world.

Reflecting later in the evening I realized that all day I did not feel good because my face did not look fresh and I remembered I was even avoiding people because I didn’t feel confident enough of my tired caked skin. This is how important self-awareness is. It is important to notice your feelings during the day and to ask what is going on and what could be the reason. My self-inquiry reminded me I slept well that night, I ate well, I worked so productively and did not waste time. Then I remembered I did not like my reflection in the mirror that day or being around people due to my choice the night before to skip makeup removal.

Self-awareness leads you to taking action to improve your results, so, before I slept yesterday I made it up to myself with extensive skin cleaning and moisturizing steps. This morning I took my time to apply fresh makeup on a clean face too. This all felt so good! I felt I was practicing an act of self-love doing all those steps. It’s self-care at its simplest. My rituals are in place to help me be at best. I just need to keep practicing them.

When I dress up, I do it for me, when I apply makeup -even though a mask is covering my face most of the time- I do it for me. I feel pretty and confident and ready to positively communicate with the outside world which will benefit from my high energy. There you go, a win-win situation.  

Skin Care & Self-Awareness

The Four Personality Tendencies

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A productivity hack I always use is booking a meeting with my manager a week in advance to share with him a presentation he requested from me. What’s the hack you ask? It is the fact that I most probably have not started working on the presentation yet. This meeting is how I make my commitment to finish the presentation in one week abiding. It keeps me accountable. If I wait to book the meeting until I finish the presentation, doing the presentation will simply drag and the task will take longer as I personally experienced in the task and according to Parkinson’s Law which states: “work expands so as to fill the time available for its completion”.

Accountability is such a powerful tool towards achieving our goals, we all need it in some areas of our lives more than others.  I usually need accountability in doing tasks requested by others while I need less accountability in tasks I initiate. This all made so much sense when I discovered I have the Questioner tendency according to Gretchen Rubin’s Four Tendencies Quiz.

On the other hand, I noticed that many of my friends simply deliver any work or family task on time just because they were asked and people depend on them. Those same people find it hard to commit to going to the gym 3 times a week because no one is counting on them to do it. According to Gretchen’s quiz those friends are Obligers. Obligers need to create accountability systems for their personal goals or else they will keep feeling bad why they are not making any progress. Accountability could come in many forms such as a personal coach or a trainer, a work-out buddy to go with to the gym or whatever activity they want to commit to.

I believe this quiz is really helpful. Please note the word tendencies in the quiz title. Nothing is set in stone, knowing what you tend to do will help you make better choices and install the proper systems to support you. I enjoyed reading The Four Tendencies book. Fairly simple and packed with examples.

Do the quiz and share with me your tendency in the comments or by email bardees @ bardeessmairat.com.

The Four Personality Tendencies

My New Digital Rules

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As I’m preparing to end my digital declutter challenge I would like to share my social media  mission statement and digital rules below:

My social media mission statement (draft #1):

I am on social media to teach what I learn from books I read and self-development experiments I apply in my personal life. I want to inspire people and women in particular to love themselves and take care of themselves first through goal setting and building and tracking positive daily habits in order to be able to take care of the people in their lives and meet their responsibilities with energy and love.

Here are my new digital engagement rules after I finish my digital declutter challenge on Feb 15th. I will do maintenance for these rules by reviewing and tweaking them every month to better manage my time and attention.

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My New Digital Rules

Delayed Bedtime Revenge

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I have touched this phenomenon in the early risers group I lead. People who are stressed out by their jobs sleep late on purpose because their evenings are the only time they have control over. It’s like a revenge against their hectic lives. I was surprised this was so common that there is actually a Chinese word representing it.

 I’m such a supporter of waking up early and taking ownership of your day and giving yourself before giving to others whether it’s work or family. A healthy morning routine is an opportunity to center yourself before heading to work.

A good evening routine and a reasonable bedtime is key to be able to wake up early. If you find yourself among people who stay up late because that’s the only free time you have, check the kind of activities you engage in late at night. How many of them are really good for your mental and spiritual health? Do you have enough energy to read, meditate or journal? For me I’ve always fell into the trap of overestimating the number of activities I want to get done in evenings, only to be disappointed and guilty I didn’t accomplish what I set out to do, simply because of my low energy reserves.

While I believe it’s really fun to stay up late every now and then, however, if you particularly lead a super demanding life this might be a form of self-sabotaging behavior where the only one losing is you.

Listen to this topic in Arabic in my podcast:

Delayed Bedtime Revenge

My Evening Ritual is how I prepare for easy mornings

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Commitment to my evening routine is still a bit new for me as I have always overestimated my energy level and planned stuff to be done in evenings but didn’t do. Good evening routines are the secret to easy mornings and I always encourage my podcast listeners and the early risers groups I lead to fix their bedtime and evening routine first before they commit to earlier morning wakeup time.

With my digital declutter month I managed to commit to my evening routine more and discovered how much my phone was getting in the way of enjoying it. My habit of blocking Whatsapp between 6pm and 9pm worked like magic in January and I plan to keep doing it daily as long as I don’t have outings with friends.

I will post here my ideal evening routine:

  1. Be home at 5:30pm.
  2. If I did not walk in the morning: walk outside with the kids or with an audiobook (for a minimum of 15 minutes).
  3. Have my early dinner/snack with my favorite comedy show (10 minutes).
  4. Play with kids or do homework or give the kids baths (60-90 minutes)
  5. Prepare fruits and vegetables lunchboxes for all the family for next day with an audiobook while kids have their dinner (15 minutes)
  6. Prepare my coffee machine for next day (5 minutes)
  7. Kids in PJs, story time and bedtime (30 minutes)
  8. Pick my outfit for next workday (10 minutes)
  9. End the day with removing my makeup and a good shower (10 minutes).
  10. Open and post on my social media which is going to be my new social media rule based on the insights I have had in my digital declutter month (30-60 minutes)
  11. Spend time with hubby.
  12. Write in my gratitude and daily stoic journals. (5 minutes)
  13. Read until I sleep by 11pm max.

My mornings are superb when I only need to press the ON button of my coffee machine, take my lunchbox from the fridge and put-on my laid-out outfit for the day. I encourage you to prepare for your mornings like this. How we start and end our days matter so much. Take care of the ordinary parts of your day to make room for the extraordinary to happen.

My Evening Ritual is how I prepare for easy mornings

My Workday Shutdown Ritual is how I set boundaries between work life and family life

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For my workday shutdown routine I follow the 15-minute checkout steps as exactly mentioned in the book Start Finishing:

“The checkout is critical because we usually have a better perspective at the end of the day than at the beginning of the day. We know what we did and didn’t do, and we have a good idea of the next steps we need to take to keep the ball rolling. So while our level of overwhelm might be higher, we don’t suffer the mental cobwebs that cloud the beginning of the day.”

Charlie Gilkey-Start Finishing

 The 15-minute checkout has three questions:    

  1. What did you accomplish? (Celebrate!) Acknowledge what you did rather than just focusing on what you didn’t do. Always, always, always celebrate what you accomplished. Life is but a series of small steps, and if you don’t celebrate the small wins, it’s harder to build up the momentum for the bigger ones.
  2. Is there anything that you need to do right now to be able to disengage? This question answers that nagging feeling that you’ve forgotten to do something. Check your inbox and your to-do list for those things that have to happen today. Ask yourself what would really happen if you didn’t do whatever you’re considering — you would be surprised how many things can wait until the next day.    
  3. When do you need to do the things that you didn’t get done today? There might be a lot of things that came up during the day that need to get done sometime soon, but they don’t have to happen today. If something needs to happen tomorrow or some specific day in the future, put it in whatever app, tool, planner, or calendar you use so that you’ll see it tomorrow. That way your mind can let it go and you can get some peace.

I added a 4th question inspired by my Full Focus Planner:

  • Write your daily big 3 tasks for tomorrow.  These are the tasks that will move my key projects and goals forward. Writing them will help me start next day with clarity.

I also love what Cal Newport says when he is done with workday shutdown ritual:

Finally — and I’m somewhat embarrassed to admit this — I close down my computer and say the magic phrase: “schedule shutdown, complete.”

Cal Newport

What about you, did any of these steps appeal to you? I highly recommend you consider some ritual to announce you’re done with work and not take its worries with you back home.

Listen to the podcast episode about this in Arabic:

My Workday Shutdown Ritual is how I set boundaries between work life and family life