goals

Goal Setting Series: Part 4- Write Your Goals-The How

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If You Don’t Know Where You’re Going, How Will You Know When You Get There?

Lewis Carroll

We evaluated the past, we dreamt of our future and we came up with goal ideas. 

It’s time to write our goals in detail and this is the juicy part you’ve been waiting for. Once you learn how to write one goal you will be able to write all goals. 

My favorite teachers in goal-setting are the late zig Ziglar, one of the most amazing motivational speakers who ever lived, and the author and entrepreneur I frequently mention here Michael Hyatt, reading “Your Best Year Ever” was indeed an eye-opener for me. And of course, Lara Casey whose work helped us get to this step. 

 I take no credit coming up with the goal-setting methodology in this blog post, some steps were quoted as they appeared in “the 7-step goal setting process” by Zig Ziglar and “Your Best Year Ever” by Michael Hyatt whose methodologies I combined here because I strongly believe they complete each other. I’ll also leave you few references at the end.  

Here are the Seven Steps of Goal Setting that I recommend: 

Please dedicate one page in your notebook for each goal to cover the seven steps. 

  1. IDENTIFY THE GOAL:  

Zig Ziglar says: “If you don’t identify a target you will never hit it. When you identify a goal it means that you write it down and describe it clearly. Don’t set any vague targets. If you want to have specific success you must have specific targets.” 

In order to define a goal properly the goal needs to check 7 boxes and be a SMARTER goal. SMARTER is a twist from the usual SMART goals we have probably encountered in the workplace so instead of meaning Specific, Measurable, Actionable, Realistic and Time-keyed, SMARTER stands for.: 

  • Specific: The goal needs to be clear, writing a vague goal is a way to hide from working on it. Unclear goals will waste your time and energy. A vague goal would be: “exercise more”, and the way to make it specific is “Go to the gym 3 times a week, Sunday, Tuesday and Thursday“ Another fuzzy goal could be “improve my relationship with my parents” and we can make it specific by writing “Call my parents every day”. 

  • Measurable: A goal needs to have some criteria of achievement to know when we reach it. For example, “Lose some weight” is better than “get in shape” but “lose 6 Kilos” is a much better goal because we have made it measurable and makes success way more delicious. 

  • Actionable: The goal needs to start with a verb of action. “Be a better parent” is not an actionable goal.  “Spend evening quality time with each of my kids every day” is a goal you can actually track and will result in warmer connection with your kids. Whenever you start a goal with a Be verb, ask yourself what can you actually do to make this goal happen? 

  • Risky: If you know for sure that you’re going to achieve the goal that means you have set the bar too low and you are not stretching yourself enough. Setting a trivial goal is another way to hide in goal-setting process. The goal needs to make you feel uncomfortable a bit. If your initial goal was “improve your sales by 10%” why not make it “improve your sales by 30%” if your goal was to “Save 1500 JDs in 6 months” why not make it 3 months instead? A study showed that “difficult goals are far more likely to generate sustained enthusiasm and higher levels of performance.” Some ways to make the goal riskier is increasing the target and shortening the deadline. Also if you make the goal grandiose that would be another way to hide. It is a recipe for guaranteed failure in goal achievement. 
  • Time-Keyed:  The goal needs to have a deadline for achievement. If you don’t set a deadline for completing your goals you will not be able to be accountable to yourself, or anyone else. If you are not accountable for your goals you will not achieve them.  Not all deadlines need to be 31 Dec.  Hyatt says “Distant deadlines discourage action”. If you are setting annual goals make sure to spread them out so you have two to three priorities every quarter.  However, if your goal is a new habit you want to cultivate then then deadlines don’t make sense so the time frame related could be the frequency of the habit, for example you are going to meditate 10 minutes every morning at 5am.  

  • Exciting:  This attribute in SMARTER framework is my personal favorite. The goal needs to be exciting for YOU! This is the key difference between a project and a goal. Every Goal (achievement goal) is a project but not every project is a goal. We are all working on different projects at work for example, it’s when the outcome feels exciting that projects become goals.    Maybe the work needed to complete a goal is not exciting like the goal of decluttering the kids’ bedroom, but I bet that the outcome of an organized and clear bedroom is pretty exciting.

  • Relevant : This is the final attribute of a goal, it’s like a sanity check if the goal actually makes sense. Is the goal relevant to your season of life? Are you a mother with very young children and you want to launch your own business? Maybe you can push this goal for another couple of years so you would have the energy and time needed for a new business. Maybe your goal is “travel to 4 countries during the year” while you have another goal “Achieve all objectives at your new role at work”. These 2 goals might be conflicting, and you need to decide what’s more important.  The goal should be aligned with your season of your life, your other goals and your own big picture vision of yourself at age 80. 

2. LIST THE BENEFITS – WHAT’S IN IT FOR ME?  

We only do the things we want to do and are willing to do.

Zig Ziglar

This is your Key Motivations list which you will go back to when the excitement of starting a new goal fades away. We already said the goal should be exciting and in this step you define the WHY.  You need to specify what you will get by achieving the goal. This is very important to pump you up whenever you read it or if/when you forget why you are pursuing the goal. The reasons need to be personal and you need to connect with them both intellectually and emotionally. You need to be clear on your gains when you get the goal accomplished and what’s at stake if you don’t. It would be great if you could define who or what will be impacted in your life by this achievement. 

3. LIST THE OBSTACLES TO OVERCOME: 

 If the goal was easy you would have done it already, no? This time you are going to list all the potential issues that might arise as you work towards your goal. They could be external obstacles or internal ones concerning your discipline and willpower. Zig Ziglar recommends asking a trusted friend who knows you well to help you finish this step.

Michael Hyatt also recommends preparing if/then scenarios for each anticipated obstacle. Example (if it rains, I’ll use a raincoat during my daily walk),  (if I am offered sweets I will say no, I don’t eat sweets anymore), (if people interrupt me during my deep work sessions, I’ll ask them to note the noise cancellation headset and come back later). 

4. LIST THE SKILLS AND KNOWLEDGE REQUIRED:  

“Knowledge gives us the power to accomplish things we would not otherwise be able to do, and skills give us the tools to take advantage of our knowledge. There is a direct relationship between knowing and doing, and successfully accomplishing your goals will require that powerful combination. “  

Write what you might need to learn to make your goal successful, what books to read and courses to take. You might consider improving some gaps you have in soft skills like patience, time management and discipline.  

5. IDENTIFY THE PEOPLE AND GROUPS TO WORK WITH:  

“People do a better job when we have the help of others. They can help us with knowledge and skill and can offer valuable advice we need to be successful. So when you set your goals always consider the people and the groups you can work with that can help you be more successful. “ 

You might arrange a phone call with someone who accomplished a similar goal to help you get started or book a coach. 

6. DEVELOP A PLAN OF ACTION:  

This is the most critical step and it involves thinking through the details of how you will achieve your goal. While your goals should be in your discomfort zone, your next steps should be in your comfort zone. E.g. call someone, research this topic, pay course fees…etc.   

For my goal “launch podcast in March 2020” the plan of action was:

-write podcast introduction

-record podcast introduction

-ask Yarub Samirat for permission to use his music in my podcast

– listen to his album Ya Salam again to select the music piece

-edit the music piece with intro, write a trailer for podcast

-select a platform to host my podcast …and so on.

7. SET DUE DATES FOR ACTION ITEMS:  

Define whether the action items you set are short term or long term, if short term; set a time to complete each task which will help you meet your goal deadline. Add the proper reminders on your calendar and task manager application.  

Final tip:

Make your goals visible so you can read them every day. You need to write the list of your identified goals (done in step 1) in one page which you can review every day. It’s best if you commit to review them in detail (esp. Key motivations) every week. 

CONGRATULATIONS!  

You have spent time planning your life way more than most people around you. Be proud of yourself!

Now it’s time for action.

You can listen to this blog post in Arabic through episode 10 of my podcast:

https://bardees.simplecast.com/episodes/10

References: The goal making canvas by Zig Ziglar and YT talk.

Goal Setting Series: Part 4- Write Your Goals-The How

Goal Setting Series: Part 2- Dream about the future.

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After reflecting on the past we need to look forward. But wait. Hold off your goal setting eager soul for just a bit. We are going to write our goals next time. Today, we are looking forward, way forward. We are dreaming about our future. We are doing that because we need more clues to know what really matters to us. Matters enough to transform into goals that we can write in detail next time.

In her PowerSheets, Lara Casey encourages us to think about our future in the big picture. If we determine what matters most to us in the big picture we will work harder to achieve it, we will get back up from setbacks faster and keep going.

Step 1:

You can uncover your most important life mission by asking:

Where do you want to be at the age of 80?

Make 2 lists.

What will matter to you most at the age of 80?

What will not matter to you at the age of 80?

Some of my personal answers when I did this exercise were:

What will matter most to me: strong loving relationships, good health, work legacy, exploring the beauty of the world, abundance, wisdom.

What will not matter: complaining, FOMO (fear of missing out on online lives of other), owning the latest gadgets, kids’ tantrums, how I look in photos, comments and likes received on my posts, number of followers.

This question adds a sense of purpose to your goals and what you do every day. Does your to-do list today or this week serve your big picture vision of yourself? Do they match at all?

We need to be also be super clear on why we want to make this big picture happen. If our how does not work our why will help us find another how.  

Add a few points stating why it is important for your big picture to become a reality for you. This would be aligned with your values and creating feelings of joy and satisfaction that you lived the life you wanted.

For example: my why for strong relationships is that powerful connections make feel alive and my heart full.

Have you noticed how your goals are getting clearer now? Your evaluation of the past and your big picture dreams are helping your heart know what it is your need to get started on.

Now for a very inspiring part.

Step 2:

What themes did you discover?

Spend some time reviewing all your answers from part 1 and the big picture answers.  You will notice recurring themes of areas that make you your heart sing and areas that need serious work to be back on track. Use a marker or a highlighter to circle or star those areas and then summarize them in few sentences.

This step took me around 30 minutes to do when I first did it. Some themes that popped up were:

Meaningful connections with family and friends. Slowing down. Self-Care. Spiritual practice commitment. Moving my body. Seeking new experiences. More fun. Go back to writing. Keep teaching.

Step 3:

Transform themes into goal ideas.

It’s time to transform those themes into goal ideas that you can start working on now. They emerged as themes for a reason. They are probably those dreams that felt most important to you in the big picture and maybe those that had the lowest ratings in your life audit.  Notice that maybe there is a lot to work on and that might feel a little overwhelming. This is why we worked on selecting what matters most to you. Goal ideas are easier to define after going all through the previous exercises. We’re only writing ideas and we will get into structured goal setting next post.

Some of my goal ideas:

Theme: teach moreà Goal idea: launch a podcast, revive my blog.

Theme: Spiritual practice commitmentà Goal idea: commit to the habit of meditation.

Step 4:

What are you saying No to?

What are you saying Yes to?

Lists are fun to do so now we are going to make 2 new lists of things we will say no to that hold us  back from being our best selves and say yes to things that expand our happiness and joy. These things could be inner thoughts/beliefs, habits/behaviors, things/possessions and type of people/relationships that we need to release and say no to in the next year/season or keep and embrace and say yes to more often. 

Personal examples:

No to: eating after 7pm, buying without replacing, sleeping less than 6 hours, meaningless outings

Yes to: planning family meals, finishing what I start, power naps.

Step 5:

Choose your word of the year

This word will inspire you when you are down, sharpen your focus, and will remind you of what is important.

How to come up with your word of the year?

Your answers to all the previous exercises will guide you, it could be a verb, an adjective or even a small phrase. What do you want to do/be/have MORE of this year?

You can google “word of the year ideas” and see what comes up and other people’s choices, it is so much fun.

Reminder: You can change your word of the year whenever you want, it does not have to be perfect and it is not final!

Write your word of the year on card and place it somewhere prominent that you will see every day.

My word of the year 2019 was Teach

My word of the year 2020 is Clarity.

Ready to learn how to set your goals in detail?  

Share photos of your goal setting notebooks with me in the comments or on my social media accounts. It is especially important to write down your goals in pen and paper, and I will tell you why in the next post.

You can listen to this blog post in Arabic through episode 8 of my podcast: 

https://bardees.simplecast.com/episodes/8
Goal Setting Series: Part 2- Dream about the future.

Goal Setting Series: Part 1-Reflect on the Past

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We practice goal setting all the time in business settings. If you’re an employee you usually receive your goals every year or every six months, which would align with the strategic goals of the company.  At the end of the semester, you review your achievements with your boss against the defined goals, you discuss what worked, what didn’t, and why.  

However, we usually coast through our personal lives, letting things happen to us and reacting as necessary. We are not charting our own paths to where we want to go. We are walking pre-defined paths for us. That’s why our days and years look a lot like each other. We are not living goal-oriented lives, we are not living on purpose.  This gap in goal setting between our work life and personal life was an insight that clicked for me in a conversation with a business leader and a mentor I’m lucky to have met called Iman Mutlaq. I’ll be always grateful for helping me notice this.  

It’s true, many of us set new year’s resolutions, but resolutions without a plan are not goals, they are only hopes and aspirations, and that’s why they fail by mid-February.  

Lucky for you, I have good news. Goal setting can be done anytime. You can do it at the beginning of each year, on your birthday, every month,  every quarter, or whenever you decide to pursue something new. As Lara Casey always says: “There is nothing magical about  January 1st“.  

In this series, I will share with you what I have learned about goal setting from my favorite authors on the subject Michael Hyatt and Lara Casey. 

This Post is part 1 of 4.  

Goal Setting Starts in the Past.  

Your past has only one value, learning from it. Reviewing your past will help you design the right goals for yourself. If you start goal setting by reviewing the past you’re more likely to set meaningful goals that you will invest time and effort to achieve. 

First: Do a Life Audit 

Our lives are multi-faceted as Michael Hyatt asserts. Our lives are not just our careers or health or families. These life domains are all connected. When we’re not doing well in one domain of our life we can feel it impacting the satisfaction we have in other areas. 

We start the life audit by rating the key life areas on a scale from 1 to 10 where 1 means you are not satisfied and want to see a big change there and 10 means you’re happy with how you’re showing up in this domain. While at it, write a few words about the reason you selected the score for each domain. State facts and how you feel, honesty is key here because the opportunity for improvement starts taking shape now, the lowest scores indicate the bigger opportunity to make a change.  

Life domains are differently grouped depending on the writer, you can add categories or remove those that don’t apply to you. Feel free to make your own life categories that work for your unique life. 

The categories I recommend are: 

  • Health: How you feel about your body. 
  • Mental/Emotional: How you feel about your psychological well-being. 
  • Relationships: How you feel about your relationship to: 
    • Spouse/Significant other 
    • Friends
    • Family
  • Finances: Your personal or family’s financial situation 
  • Work: Your job, your 9-5, and side projects.  
  • Spiritual Growth: Your connection to God. 
  • Learning: Your educational development. 
  • Personal Environment: Your home and work environment.  
  • Fun & Recreation: Your hobbies, playtime, relaxation, and adventure experiences.  
  • Service & Contribution: how you serve the world/volunteering. 

You can also take an assessment I really like by Michael Hyatt to assess how you are generally doing in life’s different domains by answering a series of helpful questions. Make sure to save your answers so you can go back to them after a while. I guarantee you will see improvements after you commit to setting goals in areas where your satisfaction was the lowest.  

Second: Evaluate your past. 

Select how far you’d like to go in your past, 6 months, one year, 3 years? Answer accordingly.  

I assumed you want to go back one year and wrote the tips accordingly: 

  • Start with the positive: While our human tendency is to remember the negative first, it is recommended to start with the good. This will help us have the energy to complete the past exercise. Write a list of the wonderful things that happened to you. What are you most proud of? What worked well last year? A few ways to remember:
    •  You can consult your family and friends to remind you of your highlights 
    • You can check your social media posts to remember  
    • You can go through your camera roll. 
    • You can check your calendar or planner. 
    • You can check your goals from last time, and celebrate what’s done. 
    • You can check your past financial statements, this will remind you of your priorities and events. 
  • Name the challenges: Write a list answering questions like what did not work this past year? What disappointments or regrets did you experience? What goals did you want to achieve but did not? What were some blocks you faced? What achievements did you want to be acknowledged for but were not? It is hard to write our answers here. But power through it. This list will guide your focus when you set your goals, your challenges are your biggest opportunities for improvement.  
  • Distill the lessons: What did the positive and the negative from the past year teach you? Make them into short sentences of wisdom that you can repeat over and over to yourself.  

Third:  State what you are grateful for. 

  • Gratitude time: Write the names of people who helped you during this past year. Find a way to thank them for specific things they did for you or ways they stood by you. Feeling gratitude is one thing, expressing it to those who caused it is an another level. They will be so surprised, and you are going to make someone’s day.  

Bonus Step 

  • Identify your hidden opportunity. The opportunity principle states that feelings of dissatisfaction and disappointment are strongest where the chances for corrective action are clearest. Consider your setbacks this past year, and brainstorm how they might point you toward your next opportunity.  

Now you are ready to move on to the next step of goal setting which is: dreaming about the future. 

New post coming up soon. 

I’m deeply grateful to Michael Hyatt and Lara Casey for all that they taught me about Goal Setting that I have shared in this blog post.  

You can listen to this blog post in Arabic through episode 7 of my podcast: 

https://bardees.simplecast.com/episodes/7
Goal Setting Series: Part 1-Reflect on the Past

14 Tips for Waking Up Early for Beginners

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  1. Define your why. The first thing I ask people who want to start waking up at 5AM is why do they want to do that? What’s missing that waking up would help them accomplish? Waking up at 5AM is not for everybody, especially not for those who already have the time to work on their self-improvement activities like journaling, reading, planning and so on during the rest of the day. Or those who appreciate their nighttime outings and want the freedom of going out any night of the week without thinking they will wake up at 5AM the next day. Write your why, which will motivate you when you lose your initial enthusiasm. Maybe it would be something like: I don’t want to feel the morning rush ever again. I want to feel I can start my day slowly and with intention. I want to go to work with my to-do list ready. I want to increase my knowledge/self-awareness/muscles.
  2. Work on your evening routine first. Observe your current bedtime and what gets in the way of sleeping on time. How does going out affect your bedtime? Notice your habits of consumption at night, whether content on TV or social media or food or caffeine. It is recommended to cut off coffee 6 hours at least before bedtime in many studies.
  3. Create something to look forward to in the morning. Examples could include fancy coffee or hot beverage, or a mug you get especially for this habit. A new shiny notebook and set of pens. An exciting book you want to read. An online course you subscribe to.
  4. Dedicate a corner in your house for your morning time. It could be a chair facing a window, it could be your kitchen table or a small desk you get especially to place your morning tools on it. I used an old outdoor table as a makeshift office for years before replacing it with my shiny new office from IKEA a few months ago.
  5. Look for or ask some friends to join you in this new habit for accountability and to create momentum. It’s much more exciting when you wake up knowing others are sleepy but awake like you. You can create a WhatsApp group and send good morning to each other, like I do with my small group. You can also ask to call and wake up each other if you don’t show up on time.
  6. If no one is interested to join your challenge in creating this habit, start a public challenge on your social media announcing your implementation intentions (this early, this many days) and report on your story daily indicating how super early you are and how far you are in the habit. This is how I started and how I recommitted to it.
  7. Speaking of social media, post that update or send good morning your 5am group then put your phone far away for an hour at least to do the things you wake up for. You can’t underestimate the allure of your phone screen and how it will steal precious minutes and attention from you if given the chance. I set appblock on strict mode the night before to guard my morning routine.
  8. Change your alarm ringtone, you got so used to your current one and your body is learning a new habit, so it needs a new trigger, Also put your alarm (I’m assuming phone) far from your hand’s reach so you have to stand up and walk to turn if off, and you might as well leave the bedroom as planned.
  9. Remember the 5-second rule. When you hear the alarm, count down from 5, 5-4-3-2-1, and launch out of bed like rockets launch into the sky. This would not give enough time for your foggy self-talk to start, which wants you warm and cozy in bed, forgetting and abandoning your budding habit.
  10. If your feel too sleepy after you wake up and want to go back to bed, remind yourself how you would feel in 2 hours if you stay awake and true to your new habit. Like I did once, blast some music in your earphones and do some jumping jacks to wake up that body.
  11. Make your habit rewarding. Use a monthly calendar to cross off each day you wake up with a big fat X. Don’t break the chain of X. Include the X in your social media photo.
  12. Set a reward for yourself when you complete X number of days in a row. Make it so attractive and worthy of your efforts.
  13. Remember, it takes an average of 66 days to make a new routine a habit. Keep going. Don’t assume it has become a habit too soon by giving yourself days off way too early. If you quit too soon you might think you are fine, and you don’t need it, but before you know it the old symptoms that propelled you to start will come back. They will not feel so great.
  14. Prepare for failure. Set a rule that if you break the chain, you don’t break it more than 2 days. Don’t let the perfectionist in you say it’s all or nothing (I thank this book for teaching me this). Forgive yourself and jump back to it because your previous efforts are not wasted. New neural pathways are being forged in your brain as you are creating this habit, and they will stay there for the days you break the chain as long as you go back.

Anything I missed? What’s your favorite tip? let me know your own secrets to waking up early.

https://bardees.simplecast.com/episodes/tipsfor5amclub
Listen to these tips in Arabic in my podcast The Paradise Project
14 Tips for Waking Up Early for Beginners

What does Audible have to do with Traffic?

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Everything.

See, I have an average of 40 minutes commute to and from work. In 2014, I started using Audible application on my mobile while driving, and it was one of the smartest things I have done. My library consists mainly of self- development, psychology and business books. My life has changed with all those books. They were my companions during travel that I barely listen to radio anymore

I tried to listen to short fictional story once,  the narration was great but I  prefer this genre on  paper and kindle. Audible is fully packed with the best seller novels nonetheless if interested.

If you haven’t heard of it before, Audible is a company owned by Amazon with the mission to “Unleash the power of the Spoken Word”  where you can find over 180K titles narrated by world-class narrators.

With my schedule, which is mostly like yours, the best way to get so much reading done is audible and I’m happy to have few friends and family members take my advice to use it.

New to audible? or thinking about joining? Here are my tips for a great and lifelong experience:

  1. The first book is free. If you like the experience you can subscribe for 14.95$ monthly which gives you one credit that allows to buy any book on audible no matter the price. If you see books much cheaper you can also buy them directly and enrich your library and save your credit for something else.
  2. Read book reviews before buying an audio book. Not just on audible, but also on goodreads to see if the content is worth your time not just the narration quality.
  3. Browse your favorite subjects and top rated books in your preferred genre and start with them first then experiment with not so famous books to get the habit going rather than getting discouraged by some titles. (I highly recommend to start with any book by Seth Godin or Brene Brown: The Power of Vulnerability)
  4. Speed up or slow the narration according to your preference and how you perceive the narrator. Many books felt much better when I sped up the narration by 1.2X
  5. Add audible shortcut to mobile home menu so you’ll start listening as soon as you get into the car
  6. If you don’t like a book you can return it. I did it only once because I thought the topic of the book would be different when I bought it.
  7. When you finish a book (self-development or  business type books), don’t start a new one immediately.  I recommend to do a quick re-listen. It has to be a fast one (1.1 or more) to review the key concepts and get them to stick, especially that you sometimes get distracted and paragraphs get read that you don’t even remember going through the first time. I didn’t do this until a couple of months ago and it made all the difference. Usually, I can’t wait to start another book after listening to one book for couple of weeks but trust me, this would do wonders to help you learn new ideas.
  8. Subscribe to audible’ s daily deal to get notified about discounted books for the day. So you can get books without waiting for your monthly credit.
  9. Add books to your wish list and audible will notify you if it’s on sale by email.
  10. Their customer care chat is very helpful, use it if needed.
  11. Ask for titles on audible that you can’t find and maybe they will consider your request. For example , I had all Zig Ziglar series and one was missing  ( I think it was the goals program) so  I asked about it. Few weeks later I found they added it. I’d like to believe i had something to do with it.
  12. Try the great courses series, lectures by great professors on various interesting topics.  my favorites topics are business and psychology.
  13. If you have  a book on kindle and you’re so into it that can’t stop reading it you have the option to buy the audible version at a reduced price if you see “whispersync for voice-ready” and the narration will start where you left off in your kindle
  14. You can also listen to podcasts, news on your audible. Choose your favorite channels and you can listen to nuggets of wisdom or humors segments everyday  like HBR ideacast and  TED talks. There are even audible original series which I still haven’t got the chance to listen to.
  15. You can bookmark audio segments you like and share them with your friends. I particularly do that for parenting books.
  16. I recommend not getting carried away by purchasing many books and take it one book at a time so you don’t get overwhelmed.
  17. I enjoy listening while doing some mundane house chores, that way I’m always learning.
  18. Getting a Bluetooth headset also really enhanced my listening experience.
What does Audible have to do with Traffic?