habits

Decluttering: A Daily Practice, Not An Annual Project

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Last year, my friend moved into a new house and shared a lot about the tremendous amount of decluttering she went through before moving. She only took what she thought she would be happy to have in her new home.

This year, her family came for a one-week visit, so she embarked on another decluttering journey in preparation for the visit. It was funny when she reminded me of the clutter vision we acquire when we think of someone visiting us; we suddenly see items that don’t belong, which we overlooked before.

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Decluttering: A Daily Practice, Not An Annual Project

What are you working on this month?

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Have you set your goals for this month yet?

If you are not sure how to do so, here are some suggestions for you:

Let your Past Inspire You

The easiest way to set monthly goals would be to review the last month. How did you do?

Rate your key life areas on a scale from 1-10, then write the reason for each rating.

  • Health: How you feel about your body and energy level. 
  • Mental/Emotional: How you feel about your psychological well-being. 
  • Relationships: How you feel about your relationship to: 
    • Spouse/Significant other. 
    • Friends.
    • Family.
  • Finances: Your personal financial situation and your family’s.
  • Work: Your 9-5 job and side projects.  
  • Spiritual Growth: Your connection to God. 
  • Learning: Your educational development. 
  • Personal Environment: Your home and work environment.  
  • Fun & Recreation: Your hobbies, playtime, relaxation, and adventure experiences.  
  • Service & Contribution: How you serve the world/volunteering. 

 If you have done a recent rating, compare the two ratings, and see what changed.

The lowest rating is a good indication of what needs more attention from you in the coming weeks. You could set your goals based on your insights from the different ratings.

You can also take goals from last month that you have not accomplished yet, and move them to the new month. But first, it is vital to check why you didn’t achieve them in the first place. What’s the blocking point? 

For example, I have not meditated but once or twice last month. When I dug deeper, I noticed the friction. The area where I used to meditate is full of clutter due to moving some furniture around, so I decided to declutter that area and get back to my good habit this month. 

Let Your Future Inspire You

You can set your monthly goals by looking over the month ahead; what’s coming up soon? Do you have an event to plan for? A birthday, an anniversary, a meeting? While such events might not be personal goals, they are still projects that will take a good chunk of your time which you need to consider.

Are You a Goal-setting Pro?

  • You can check your list of annual goals to see which of them fits this season of your life. 
  • You can check your word of the year to come up with ideas on how to bring it to life this month.

Success Secrets

Think about when you will work on your goals. Until you set time to work on your goals, they will keep floating out there. Book yourself. I usually set time to work on goals on the mornings of my weekends, or when I know the kids will be occupied, so I have an hour or two to myself. 

Write your monthly goals on a piece of paper that you see daily. I tape them to my computer screen usually. Visibility is key to success. Don’t keep that paper for more than a quarter there. Replace it. I have recently started taping my weekly goals to my screen, and it helped me stick to them.

Habits Reminder

As for the habits you want to grow in the new month, you need to define them, decide when you will do them during the day, write them in your habit tracker, and, just like goals, keep them visible. I usually track the same habits for a quarter and then come up with new habits to track in the new quarter. For example, I tracked washing the dishes for a while, and then I added the habit of wiping kitchen surfaces later.

Are you ready to set goals? Do you feel more excited about this month? Let me know if this post was helpful to you; I’d love to know your thoughts.

What are you working on this month?

You Need Shine to Make Habits Stick

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Teaching small groups on habits lately have taught me that learning to make our habits very easy is one of the most challenging parts for the attendees to implement. I don’t blame them. We have been conditioned to “go big or go home” that going small is not comfortable for us because our brains won’t consider small as a win. 

That’s why BJ Fogg, in his book Tiny Habits, stresses the importance of not only making the desired behaviors easy, but also celebrating right after we complete them so they turn into habits. He argues, controversially so, that behaviors turn into habits faster by immediate positive emotions accompanying them rather than by repetition. 

Celebrating directly after we wipe countertops or one countertop, with a broad smile or by applauding ourselves or doing a little jump or whatever works for us, is what BJ Fogg calls a Shine moment. This positive, immediate and uncommon rush of feelings is the small reward that wires the new habit faster into our brain, making us want to repeat it the next time until the behavior becomes automatic. 

I’ve been implementing this strategy, and it’s been quite a success.

Try it out. 

You Need Shine to Make Habits Stick

Overcome Friction to Master Habits

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Coming from an Industrial Engineering background and an excellent experience in Six Sigma projects, I like to catch defects in processes and improve them. Likewise, I enjoy noticing friction points in my day-day life and solving them. Studying and teaching Atomic Habits, in my podcast and videos lately, helped me hone this skill even better.

Here are some examples of solutions I implemented to friction points I had personally faced:

Friction PointSolution
I want to walk during working hours, but I wear heels.Bring running shoes with me and use them in breaks.
Nobody wears running shoes at work; it will be weird.Get comfortable all-black shoes suitable for walking and work like this one, keep them at work, and put them on for walks (my accountability partner’s suggestion). Or get over myself and the discomfort, maybe soon.
Not listening to podcasts on my new Airpods while taking a walk because I’m used to Bluetooth neckband headsets and fear Airpods would fall out.Use a cheap Bluetooth headset for walks.
Getting hungry at work, eating unhealthy food, and the hassle of ordering the food.

If I’m ordering food from a small place nearby, I don’t like thinking about what to eat, making the call to order it, or paying cash on delivery.

If I’m ordering from an app, I don’t enjoy browsing to decide my meal, verifying my credit card using a one-time password, getting contacted by the delivery man to double-check the address, or receiving my meal at varying times.		Bring a lunch box of fruits and veggies to feel less hungry.



Automate the food ordering process by subscribing to a healthy meals delivery service where I pay monthly, order weekly, and get contacted by the driver daily at about the same time to receive my meal.
Forgetting my phone charger at home or office.Buy a second one.
Noise outside my office disrupts my focus.Invest in a noise-cancellation headset and music.
Feeling sleepy and craving coffee after lunch, ordering coffee hassle, my favorite coffee not nearby.I magically found this instant drip coffee option from one of my favorite coffee places. I buy a box of 10 packets every two weeks. 
A 90-minute weekend class for my daughter, and the location is not near enough to return home.Prepare a list of errands to cross off during the class or take a walk in the nearby area.
Looking for stuff around the house, losing stuff, getting late asking about stuff.Have less stuff, less clothes, less socks, less toys and less paper. To do that, I need to turn decluttering into a habit, not a yearly project, which is my current focus.

Did this list remind you of solutions you too can take action on?

Many times, the reason you are not committing to your habits is not that you’re not disciplined enough or too lazy. Instead, the habit is not easy enough, and that’s perfectly okay. 

Embrace this simple law of habit change; make it easy. You are not too high-maintenance if you remove friction points. On the contrary, you are re-engineering your environment to improve your life. 

As James Clear says:

The less friction you face, the easier it is for your stronger self to emerge. The idea behind make it easy is not to only do easy things. The idea is to make it as easy as possible in the moment to do things that payoff in the long run.

Find the friction points then solve them. 

Overcome Friction to Master Habits

No Snooze Challenge -2022 Update

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I have been using an old-fashioned 5 JDs alarm clock for the past month because it has no snooze option, and I vowed to use it to wake up right away without attempting to ever reset it and it’s been working like magic.
One month later, my sleep quality has stabilized and improved mainly due to stopping the snooze. Moreover, I sleep earlier in winter anyway, which is one of the reasons I feel rested enough and able to wake up at 4 am consistenly lately. On weekends when I set the alarm at 7:30 am, for example, I noticed I naturally wake up earlier, after 6.5 hours of sleep. I don’t ever remember opening my eyes this early naturally, which is fantastic.

In one weekend or two, I felt tired, turned the alarm off, got my phone from the charging deck right outside the bedroom, and set a new alarm there. Yes, that too. Since getting the alarm clock, I have been keeping my phone out of the bedroom. It’s a piece of advice I’ve been reading over and over and finally tried and can attest to.

The quality of the alarm clock I got is basic, and if I’m too sensitive, the low humming sound it makes would annoy me, but it doesn’t. I may upgarde it soon to a nicer one, with no snooze option of course.

I highly recommend you purchase one too, but first, make sure you test its alarm sound; I once got an alarm clock from IKEA that might cause mini heart attacks when it goes off.

No Snooze Challenge -2022 Update

Starting a New Job? Here is Some Advice.

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My friend is starting a new job soon, so I sent her this list of helpful reminders; maybe they will help you too:

  1. Starting a new job is uncomfortable; you are used to being the expert in your previous job, but now you will be the newbie. Not knowing all the answers is uncomfortable.
  2. Sit with the discomfort and accept it, realizing it is a temporary phase.
  3. Those first weeks are your golden opportunity to ask questions. You are expected to. Your new team will not look to you for answers for a while. Don’t act as if you have them; you don’t.
  4. It’s time to practice listening and hold off jumping to conclusions. Just listen.
  5. Set clear boundaries about what’s OK and what’s not OK, especially jokes and personal questions.
  6. Some employees will try to win you from day one. It’s nice to feel welcomed, but they are not your friends yet, let time show you who they are.
  7. Some employees will try to plant seeds about other employees. Please don’t take their word for it. Even if they trust or like another employee, that does not mean you should too. Let your own experience determine your relationships.
  8. Some employees would be so insecure that they will see you as a threat and try to sabotage you, keep your eyes open, and listen more than you talk.
  9. You have always said you want to leave work at work, so it’s time to walk the talk. Changing your job is a chance to change your work style. You may be used to taking work home and getting work done after your kids sleep, but people at your new job do not know that. The first step is to leave at 5 pm on day one, right when the official working hours end. You don’t stay late to prove anything to anyone. Instead, you become so efficient during working hours to shut down work entirely until the next day. If you stay late, on the other hand, you will set that as their normal expectations from you, while leaving at 5 pm would be abnormal.
  10. Changing your environment is a great way to start new habits and get rid of negative ones. Try taking your lunch box instead of ordering takeout, bringing your coffee with you instead of buying it, taking walks during lunch breaks instead of staying glued to your screen, listening to a new podcast in your new route, or changing your attire or hairstyle.
  11. Read the book The First 90 Days.

Happy probation!

Starting a New Job? Here is Some Advice.

No Cinderella Writing

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After I arrived early to work today, I had my daily friendly chit-chat with the one other early co-worker, filled my water bottle, lit up my cinnamon candle (still going strong since Christmas), got out my new eyeglasses, and opened up my daily and weekly planners. Then, I set my beautiful timer for 30 minutes to write and publish this post.

It’s February 1st, and just like last year, I’m starting the habit of writing frequently here. Notice that I didn’t say daily, although I really really want to write daily, like Seth and Rohan; however, reviewing last year showed me that writing on weekends did not work. I got frustrated every time I forgot about it then acted all Cinderella when I sat at my desk at 11:30 PM trying to ship a post before midnight. I forgot simply because the trigger of the habit of writing was not there. The trigger is arriving early to an empty office to finish my post before everybody comes.

This year I’m publishing four posts a week from Monday to Thursday (the workdays in my part of the world), and I’m taking a break on Fridays and Saturdays. Sunday’s writing session is reserved for my Sunday Spark newsletter.

I attempted to write some posts privately in January to keep the practice of writing and also prepare a queue to publish daily in February. Alas, I took a look at them now and noticed they were fewer than I remember and not that great.

The queue idea did not work so far. Ideally, my perfect self would write on weekends anyway to honor the writing habit and build up a queue for rainy writing days. I said ideally, so no commitment to this part for now.

Happy to be back in your inbox from Monday-Thursday! Subscribe to my newsletter to See me on Sundays too.

No Cinderella Writing

The Perfect Habits Question

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Peter Shepherd reminded me of a question I learned in Atomic Habits:

“Is what you are doing today getting you closer to where you want to be tomorrow?”

The answer is an astounding YES when I think about some habits I have:

-Exercising today: Health & Vibrancy tomorrow.
-Meditation today: Mindfulness tomorrow.
-Journaling today: Clarity tomorrow.
-Creating (videos, podcast, blog posts) today- Legacy tomorrow.
-Story time with kids today: Memories and love of reading for the kids tomorrow.
-Skincare today: glowing skin tomorrow.
-Checking on family today: Closer bonds tomorrow.

On the other hand, there are habits I have that will affect me negatively on the long term and will not get me closer to where I want to be tomorrow, so I need to work on them. For example:

-Not saving money today: no peace of mind tomorrow

Such a good question.

The Perfect Habits Question

September is the Other January

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As I was writing today’s date on my journal I thought about this amazing quote by Gretchen Rubin “September is the other January”. I read it in her book “Happier at Home” a few years ago and loved it ever since.

Gretchen Says:
“September marks the start of a new year, with the empty calendar and clean slate of the next school cycle. Even if you are no longer in school yourself, September nevertheless remains charged with possibility and renewal.”

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September is the Other January

Keep the spotlight shining on them

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I notice myself flourishing in the presence of some people. I make my best jokes, I feel light, I feel at ease, I feel understood, I feel at my best. I can count the number of those people on my hands. They are rare.

The question is, how can I be like this for others?

I remember an exercise we did a few years a go with a mentor where we were requested to practice listening more to the people in our lives. Whenever they struck up a conversation. We needed to listen attentively, hold back from switching the subject, and notice our urge to interrupt and talk about ourselves. If it’s the right time and place, we also needed to offer the space for them to continue their thought process, with as little probing as possible, until they figure out what they needed to do next all by themselves.

Being very similar to the exercise I mentioned in this post, it was such a hard experience to implement.

Try it and see firsthand the insights that will reveal themselves to you. Simply witnessing the urge to take the microphone and be under the spotlight is something totally worth catching.

If you get asked, answer shortly and then kick the ball back into their court. Make them the guru not you. Wonder what they could teach you. Listen with the purpose of learning something new about them and their worldview and maybe a useful fact or two. Be open and curious. Trust me, they will feel it and open up to you. They will feel you not rushing them so you’d take your turn to speak. For example, If my conversation partner tells me they are starting to wake up early and share their routine, I need to resist the urge to tell them I’ve been doing that since 2016 and have a whole thing around this habit.

It’s been a while since I practiced this, so it’s time I activated my listening muscle again. I think it grew weaker lately. Join me and let me know how it goes with you.

Keep the spotlight shining on them.

Keep the spotlight shining on them