goalsetting

What are you working on this month?

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Have you set your goals for this month yet?

If you are not sure how to do so, here are some suggestions for you:

Let your Past Inspire You

The easiest way to set monthly goals would be to review the last month. How did you do?

Rate your key life areas on a scale from 1-10, then write the reason for each rating.

  • Health: How you feel about your body and energy level. 
  • Mental/Emotional: How you feel about your psychological well-being. 
  • Relationships: How you feel about your relationship to: 
    • Spouse/Significant other. 
    • Friends.
    • Family.
  • Finances: Your personal financial situation and your family’s.
  • Work: Your 9-5 job and side projects.  
  • Spiritual Growth: Your connection to God. 
  • Learning: Your educational development. 
  • Personal Environment: Your home and work environment.  
  • Fun & Recreation: Your hobbies, playtime, relaxation, and adventure experiences.  
  • Service & Contribution: How you serve the world/volunteering. 

 If you have done a recent rating, compare the two ratings, and see what changed.

The lowest rating is a good indication of what needs more attention from you in the coming weeks. You could set your goals based on your insights from the different ratings.

You can also take goals from last month that you have not accomplished yet, and move them to the new month. But first, it is vital to check why you didn’t achieve them in the first place. What’s the blocking point? 

For example, I have not meditated but once or twice last month. When I dug deeper, I noticed the friction. The area where I used to meditate is full of clutter due to moving some furniture around, so I decided to declutter that area and get back to my good habit this month. 

Let Your Future Inspire You

You can set your monthly goals by looking over the month ahead; what’s coming up soon? Do you have an event to plan for? A birthday, an anniversary, a meeting? While such events might not be personal goals, they are still projects that will take a good chunk of your time which you need to consider.

Are You a Goal-setting Pro?

  • You can check your list of annual goals to see which of them fits this season of your life. 
  • You can check your word of the year to come up with ideas on how to bring it to life this month.

Success Secrets

Think about when you will work on your goals. Until you set time to work on your goals, they will keep floating out there. Book yourself. I usually set time to work on goals on the mornings of my weekends, or when I know the kids will be occupied, so I have an hour or two to myself. 

Write your monthly goals on a piece of paper that you see daily. I tape them to my computer screen usually. Visibility is key to success. Don’t keep that paper for more than a quarter there. Replace it. I have recently started taping my weekly goals to my screen, and it helped me stick to them.

Habits Reminder

As for the habits you want to grow in the new month, you need to define them, decide when you will do them during the day, write them in your habit tracker, and, just like goals, keep them visible. I usually track the same habits for a quarter and then come up with new habits to track in the new quarter. For example, I tracked washing the dishes for a while, and then I added the habit of wiping kitchen surfaces later.

Are you ready to set goals? Do you feel more excited about this month? Let me know if this post was helpful to you; I’d love to know your thoughts.

What are you working on this month?

Notice the Mosquitoes

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I’m currently reading a book called How to Begin: Start Doing Something That Matters by Michael Bungay Stanier. It’s an excellent book/workbook about goal-setting for what he calls Worthy Goals.

I want to share a brilliant exercise in this book called Listing Mosquitoes.

“Your Worthy Goal comes with a cloud of its own Mosquitoes. These Mosquitoes are all the things you’re currently doing and not doing—secular sins of commission and of omission—that are contrary to this Worthy Goal you’ve set for yourself. You’ll find they’re numerous. Some are tiny, others more significant. No single Mosquito is fatal in and of itself, but together they irritate you, weaken you, slow you down, and distract you from your Worthy Goal.”

“Notice Your Mosquitoes: Write down the things you’re currently doing and not doing that are not leading towards your Worthy Goal. Actions and non-actions, big and small. Make them tangible and real.”

“This is you confessing, owning up to the ways you’re actively undermining your Worthy Goal, colluding against your own ambitions, scuttling your dreams.”

It especially resonated when he gave the example of his goal to “Launch a new podcast that is in the top 3 percent of all podcasts within 12 months”.

Michael shares what he is currently doing that is hindering his goal:

“Things I’m doing that are contrary to this goal include: investing in a consultant then ignoring her recommendations; setting a standard then immediately downgrading the ambition of the podcast to make it smaller; starting another, unrelated podcast that I can do in my usual small-scale way; being timid about the guests I’m inviting to the unrelated podcast; buying expensive podcast equipment then not learning how to set it up properly. Refusing to figure out the marketing.”

What he should be doing but is not:

“Things I’m not doing are even more numerous. They include: not creating a vision for the podcast; not setting a budget (time or money); not listening to other “role model” podcasts; not hiring a professional podcasting agency; not attending a podcasting conference; not learning about podcast marketing; not calling myself a podcast host; not exploring distribution partnerships.”

It made me think of my podcast as I approach its 2nd anniversary with host-on-mic only episodes. Do I want to maintain it or take it to the next level? What is this next level?

Thank you, Michael, for this rich book and enlightening concept. I am working my way through it.

Notice the Mosquitoes

A Note about November

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I found a note I wrote to myself last year that said: 

“November is the last month of the year, act accordingly.”

 Before you panic, see if this makes sense to you too.

I wrote that note after finding that it took me some time, well into mid-January to be honest, to review my previous year and complete the goal-setting exercise for the new year. And while I believe we can set goals anytime we want because I agree with “There is nothing magical about January 1st”;  I also believe in the power of collective beginnings.  

That is why I decided last year that I would dedicate December for my goal-setting exercise and wrote that note-to-self.

Have you ever done that?

I am excited that this time I won’t be doing it alone. I will do it with you in my mini-course launching soon!

Add your email to be the first to know.

A Note about November

Perfectionism is misplaced creativity

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In his 5-day Beyond Perfect Challenge that ended yesterday, the author Jon Acuff came up with a new definition for perfectionism that I would like to share with you today.

Perfectionism is creativity with misplaced focus on fear instead of hope.

This is how it operates:

  • It avidly tries to protect us from failure and rejection and criticism.
  • It worries we wouldn’t be able to handle them if they take place.
  • It prevents us from starting new habits because then, it believes, we need to commit forever, which is impossible because life will get in the way, so why even start?
  • It complicates our goals to make them more perfect, so they would become unachievable.
  • It does not allow us to finish what we start because then we will need to show what we made to the world and get subjected to the above-mentioned failure or criticism.
  • It makes us imagine what might go wrong, but rarely lets us imagine what if it goes right.
  • It considers any achievement less than 100% as nothing.
  • It compares our beginning to someone else’s middle.
  • It causes us to burn out by believing perfect results are attainable.
  • It makes us focus on outcomes we can’t control rather than our efforts which we can control.
  • It believes in “the hard way or no way”.


This was some of what I learned from the generous information Jon shared in the challenge and from reading his book Finish . He’s offering a course and lifetime access to the challenge here if you are interested.

Perfectionism is misplaced creativity

What do you want to be true?

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What do you want to be true about your health?
What do you want to be true about your finances?
What do you want to be true about your spiritual life?
What do you want to be true about relationship with———?
What do you want to be true about your home?
What do you want to be true about your career?
What do you want to be about your knowledge?
What do you want to be true about your impact on others?

I loved this goal-setting/habit-setting question I recently learned from the author Jon Acuff.

It’s a lot like the amazing question I learned from Atomic Habits:

Who do you want to be?

What do you want to be true?

It Takes A Village

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In her book, Girl Stop Apologizing, Rachel Hollis shares the details of the help she gets to be able run her successful business, such as her nanny, personal trainer, parents and so on. She encourages women to share those details too to motivate others to pursue their own goals. Because, if we pretend we’re doing it all alone then we’re not sharing the whole story. Especially women, yes we can raise a family, have a 9-5 job and achieve our personal ambitions, but with help. Anything else is a recipe for burnout.

I want to acknowledge that I get a lot of help, my parents’ helper comes and cleans my house every week, my amazing in-laws take care of my kids and their online schooling and meals while I’m at work, my parents watch my kids while I run errands, my husband takes the kids out so I can record my podcast and puts them to bed while I’m shooting videos among many other forms of support. I’m blessed to have them by my side. This is only my immediate family and I still have a long list to thank, like friends who provide huge emotional support to me in my ups and downs. You get the idea. It takes a village and I don’t take it for granted.

What about you? Who is helping you now? Who could be helping you to have more time and space? Could you and a friend do that for each other? Figuring this out is so important and the sooner you do the better.

It Takes A Village

Goal Setting Series: Part 2- Dream about the future.

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After reflecting on the past we need to look forward. But wait. Hold off your goal setting eager soul for just a bit. We are going to write our goals next time. Today, we are looking forward, way forward. We are dreaming about our future. We are doing that because we need more clues to know what really matters to us. Matters enough to transform into goals that we can write in detail next time.

In her PowerSheets, Lara Casey encourages us to think about our future in the big picture. If we determine what matters most to us in the big picture we will work harder to achieve it, we will get back up from setbacks faster and keep going.

Step 1:

You can uncover your most important life mission by asking:

Where do you want to be at the age of 80?

Make 2 lists.

What will matter to you most at the age of 80?

What will not matter to you at the age of 80?

Some of my personal answers when I did this exercise were:

What will matter most to me: strong loving relationships, good health, work legacy, exploring the beauty of the world, abundance, wisdom.

What will not matter: complaining, FOMO (fear of missing out on online lives of other), owning the latest gadgets, kids’ tantrums, how I look in photos, comments and likes received on my posts, number of followers.

This question adds a sense of purpose to your goals and what you do every day. Does your to-do list today or this week serve your big picture vision of yourself? Do they match at all?

We need to be also be super clear on why we want to make this big picture happen. If our how does not work our why will help us find another how.  

Add a few points stating why it is important for your big picture to become a reality for you. This would be aligned with your values and creating feelings of joy and satisfaction that you lived the life you wanted.

For example: my why for strong relationships is that powerful connections make feel alive and my heart full.

Have you noticed how your goals are getting clearer now? Your evaluation of the past and your big picture dreams are helping your heart know what it is your need to get started on.

Now for a very inspiring part.

Step 2:

What themes did you discover?

Spend some time reviewing all your answers from part 1 and the big picture answers.  You will notice recurring themes of areas that make you your heart sing and areas that need serious work to be back on track. Use a marker or a highlighter to circle or star those areas and then summarize them in few sentences.

This step took me around 30 minutes to do when I first did it. Some themes that popped up were:

Meaningful connections with family and friends. Slowing down. Self-Care. Spiritual practice commitment. Moving my body. Seeking new experiences. More fun. Go back to writing. Keep teaching.

Step 3:

Transform themes into goal ideas.

It’s time to transform those themes into goal ideas that you can start working on now. They emerged as themes for a reason. They are probably those dreams that felt most important to you in the big picture and maybe those that had the lowest ratings in your life audit.  Notice that maybe there is a lot to work on and that might feel a little overwhelming. This is why we worked on selecting what matters most to you. Goal ideas are easier to define after going all through the previous exercises. We’re only writing ideas and we will get into structured goal setting next post.

Some of my goal ideas:

Theme: teach moreà Goal idea: launch a podcast, revive my blog.

Theme: Spiritual practice commitmentà Goal idea: commit to the habit of meditation.

Step 4:

What are you saying No to?

What are you saying Yes to?

Lists are fun to do so now we are going to make 2 new lists of things we will say no to that hold us  back from being our best selves and say yes to things that expand our happiness and joy. These things could be inner thoughts/beliefs, habits/behaviors, things/possessions and type of people/relationships that we need to release and say no to in the next year/season or keep and embrace and say yes to more often. 

Personal examples:

No to: eating after 7pm, buying without replacing, sleeping less than 6 hours, meaningless outings

Yes to: planning family meals, finishing what I start, power naps.

Step 5:

Choose your word of the year

This word will inspire you when you are down, sharpen your focus, and will remind you of what is important.

How to come up with your word of the year?

Your answers to all the previous exercises will guide you, it could be a verb, an adjective or even a small phrase. What do you want to do/be/have MORE of this year?

You can google “word of the year ideas” and see what comes up and other people’s choices, it is so much fun.

Reminder: You can change your word of the year whenever you want, it does not have to be perfect and it is not final!

Write your word of the year on card and place it somewhere prominent that you will see every day.

My word of the year 2019 was Teach

My word of the year 2020 is Clarity.

Ready to learn how to set your goals in detail?  

Share photos of your goal setting notebooks with me in the comments or on my social media accounts. It is especially important to write down your goals in pen and paper, and I will tell you why in the next post.

You can listen to this blog post in Arabic through episode 8 of my podcast: 

https://bardees.simplecast.com/episodes/8
Goal Setting Series: Part 2- Dream about the future.