If a phone ring makes your spine crawl, something has to change.
Are you worried you will receive another request from a client, manager, colleague, or partner?
This visceral reaction could be one of the following:
- You are on the verge of burnout. Exhausted from doing too much for too long.
- You have feelings of resentment.
The underlying feeling of resentment is surprise, surprise, envy, not anger, as Brene Brown revealed in her book Atlas of the Heart. You feel resentful because you want to experience what others are experiencing.
For example, if you resent someone for resting, it’s not about being angry they are not doing their share of the workload; it’s because you want to rest.
If you resent someone for dressing nicely, it’s because you want to dress nicely too, not because you are angry they are wasting their money.
David Allen said he felt the phone call spine crawl at some point, which means his business burdened him because he felt the transaction with the calling client was unfair; his company was doing more than they were getting paid for. So, how did they solve it? They raised their prices, and the phone call dread went away.
Where do you feel resentment in your life?
What do you feel is missing?
What do you want more of? And less of?
Sitting for a few minutes and writing answers will help you define where you need to ask for help.
Is it the kids’ homework, the house chores, or the monthly report?
Do you feel resentful because other people are having alone time, seeing their friends, or traveling?
These feelings can turn into goals with action plans. They could be conversation starters with significant people about support and what it looks like for you. These feelings could be your signal to learn to say no and to ask for more.
How can you make an easy wish happen soon?
Do you need connection time? Plan that coffee date with your friend.
Is your body aching and needs movement? Look at the week ahead week and allocate time for walking, or better yet, with a friend; health and relationship goals in one.
Resentment is a masked wish for change. Listen to it with curiosity; it is here for guidance.