Skin Care & Self-Awareness

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Yesterday I went to work with leftover makeup from the day before that I tried to update in the morning with some compact powder and fresh lipstick. The reason is I went out that night and was too tired to take off my makeup when I got back, and also didn’t manage my time in my morning enough with driving to school back on. Any skin care specialist would be horrified to read what I did since that is a big no no in the skin world.

Reflecting later in the evening I realized that all day I did not feel good because my face did not look fresh and I remembered I was even avoiding people because I didn’t feel confident enough of my tired caked skin. This is how important self-awareness is. It is important to notice your feelings during the day and to ask what is going on and what could be the reason. My self-inquiry reminded me I slept well that night, I ate well, I worked so productively and did not waste time. Then I remembered I did not like my reflection in the mirror that day or being around people due to my choice the night before to skip makeup removal.

Self-awareness leads you to taking action to improve your results, so, before I slept yesterday I made it up to myself with extensive skin cleaning and moisturizing steps. This morning I took my time to apply fresh makeup on a clean face too. This all felt so good! I felt I was practicing an act of self-love doing all those steps. It’s self-care at its simplest. My rituals are in place to help me be at best. I just need to keep practicing them.

When I dress up, I do it for me, when I apply makeup -even though a mask is covering my face most of the time- I do it for me. I feel pretty and confident and ready to positively communicate with the outside world which will benefit from my high energy. There you go, a win-win situation.  

Skin Care & Self-Awareness

The Four Personality Tendencies

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A productivity hack I always use is booking a meeting with my manager a week in advance to share with him a presentation he requested from me. What’s the hack you ask? It is the fact that I most probably have not started working on the presentation yet. This meeting is how I make my commitment to finish the presentation in one week abiding. It keeps me accountable. If I wait to book the meeting until I finish the presentation, doing the presentation will simply drag and the task will take longer as I personally experienced in the task and according to Parkinson’s Law which states: “work expands so as to fill the time available for its completion”.

Accountability is such a powerful tool towards achieving our goals, we all need it in some areas of our lives more than others.  I usually need accountability in doing tasks requested by others while I need less accountability in tasks I initiate. This all made so much sense when I discovered I have the Questioner tendency according to Gretchen Rubin’s Four Tendencies Quiz.

On the other hand, I noticed that many of my friends simply deliver any work or family task on time just because they were asked and people depend on them. Those same people find it hard to commit to going to the gym 3 times a week because no one is counting on them to do it. According to Gretchen’s quiz those friends are Obligers. Obligers need to create accountability systems for their personal goals or else they will keep feeling bad why they are not making any progress. Accountability could come in many forms such as a personal coach or a trainer, a work-out buddy to go with to the gym or whatever activity they want to commit to.

I believe this quiz is really helpful. Please note the word tendencies in the quiz title. Nothing is set in stone, knowing what you tend to do will help you make better choices and install the proper systems to support you. I enjoyed reading The Four Tendencies book. Fairly simple and packed with examples.

Do the quiz and share with me your tendency in the comments or by email bardees @ bardeessmairat.com.

The Four Personality Tendencies

My New Digital Rules

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As I’m preparing to end my digital declutter challenge I would like to share my social media  mission statement and digital rules below:

My social media mission statement (draft #1):

I am on social media to teach what I learn from books I read and self-development experiments I apply in my personal life. I want to inspire people and women in particular to love themselves and take care of themselves first through goal setting and building and tracking positive daily habits in order to be able to take care of the people in their lives and meet their responsibilities with energy and love.

Here are my new digital engagement rules after I finish my digital declutter challenge on Feb 15th. I will do maintenance for these rules by reviewing and tweaking them every month to better manage my time and attention.

Continue reading “My New Digital Rules” →
My New Digital Rules

Delayed Bedtime Revenge

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I have touched this phenomenon in the early risers group I lead. People who are stressed out by their jobs sleep late on purpose because their evenings are the only time they have control over. It’s like a revenge against their hectic lives. I was surprised this was so common that there is actually a Chinese word representing it.

 I’m such a supporter of waking up early and taking ownership of your day and giving yourself before giving to others whether it’s work or family. A healthy morning routine is an opportunity to center yourself before heading to work.

A good evening routine and a reasonable bedtime is key to be able to wake up early. If you find yourself among people who stay up late because that’s the only free time you have, check the kind of activities you engage in late at night. How many of them are really good for your mental and spiritual health? Do you have enough energy to read, meditate or journal? For me I’ve always fell into the trap of overestimating the number of activities I want to get done in evenings, only to be disappointed and guilty I didn’t accomplish what I set out to do, simply because of my low energy reserves.

While I believe it’s really fun to stay up late every now and then, however, if you particularly lead a super demanding life this might be a form of self-sabotaging behavior where the only one losing is you.

Listen to this topic in Arabic in my podcast:

Delayed Bedtime Revenge

Post Travel Thoughts

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I felt so blessed for traveling for the first time in 18 months. Traveling in COVID times is such a unique experience. I will write about that soon. What I want to talk about today is the week after my trip.

Being so committed to my rituals in January, traveling for 5 days at the end of the month was such a shock to my system. For example, during the trip I switched from sleeping at 11pm to going out at 11pm which felt so natural in a fun trip. However, I started feeling the impact of those fully scheduled days and late night as soon as I got into my bed back home. My body responded with aching muscles and fuzzy thinking all throughout the week until I got the chance to sleep as much as I wanted over the weekend few days later.

I did not like it took me this long to feel ok again, so I decided that before my next trip-whenever that may be- I need to set up some kind of a recovery system to navigate my way back to my rituals and habits. A must do is taking the day after returning from trip off no matter how early the plane arrives. If I did that this time instead of going to work next day, I would have had a faster recovery. I also had 2 family related gatherings during this same week were very important but stretched my zombie week. When I travel again, I’ll try to free all the week after from any social commitments if at all possible.

I wonder if you have rules you follow to get back into your productive routines after trips. Share your advice with me in the comments or by email bardees @ bardeessmairat.com.  

Post Travel Thoughts

My Evening Ritual is how I prepare for easy mornings

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Commitment to my evening routine is still a bit new for me as I have always overestimated my energy level and planned stuff to be done in evenings but didn’t do. Good evening routines are the secret to easy mornings and I always encourage my podcast listeners and the early risers groups I lead to fix their bedtime and evening routine first before they commit to earlier morning wakeup time.

With my digital declutter month I managed to commit to my evening routine more and discovered how much my phone was getting in the way of enjoying it. My habit of blocking Whatsapp between 6pm and 9pm worked like magic in January and I plan to keep doing it daily as long as I don’t have outings with friends.

I will post here my ideal evening routine:

  1. Be home at 5:30pm.
  2. If I did not walk in the morning: walk outside with the kids or with an audiobook (for a minimum of 15 minutes).
  3. Have my early dinner/snack with my favorite comedy show (10 minutes).
  4. Play with kids or do homework or give the kids baths (60-90 minutes)
  5. Prepare fruits and vegetables lunchboxes for all the family for next day with an audiobook while kids have their dinner (15 minutes)
  6. Prepare my coffee machine for next day (5 minutes)
  7. Kids in PJs, story time and bedtime (30 minutes)
  8. Pick my outfit for next workday (10 minutes)
  9. End the day with removing my makeup and a good shower (10 minutes).
  10. Open and post on my social media which is going to be my new social media rule based on the insights I have had in my digital declutter month (30-60 minutes)
  11. Spend time with hubby.
  12. Write in my gratitude and daily stoic journals. (5 minutes)
  13. Read until I sleep by 11pm max.

My mornings are superb when I only need to press the ON button of my coffee machine, take my lunchbox from the fridge and put-on my laid-out outfit for the day. I encourage you to prepare for your mornings like this. How we start and end our days matter so much. Take care of the ordinary parts of your day to make room for the extraordinary to happen.

My Evening Ritual is how I prepare for easy mornings

My Workday Shutdown Ritual is how I set boundaries between work life and family life

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For my workday shutdown routine I follow the 15-minute checkout steps as exactly mentioned in the book Start Finishing:

“The checkout is critical because we usually have a better perspective at the end of the day than at the beginning of the day. We know what we did and didn’t do, and we have a good idea of the next steps we need to take to keep the ball rolling. So while our level of overwhelm might be higher, we don’t suffer the mental cobwebs that cloud the beginning of the day.”

Charlie Gilkey-Start Finishing

 The 15-minute checkout has three questions:    

  1. What did you accomplish? (Celebrate!) Acknowledge what you did rather than just focusing on what you didn’t do. Always, always, always celebrate what you accomplished. Life is but a series of small steps, and if you don’t celebrate the small wins, it’s harder to build up the momentum for the bigger ones.
  2. Is there anything that you need to do right now to be able to disengage? This question answers that nagging feeling that you’ve forgotten to do something. Check your inbox and your to-do list for those things that have to happen today. Ask yourself what would really happen if you didn’t do whatever you’re considering — you would be surprised how many things can wait until the next day.    
  3. When do you need to do the things that you didn’t get done today? There might be a lot of things that came up during the day that need to get done sometime soon, but they don’t have to happen today. If something needs to happen tomorrow or some specific day in the future, put it in whatever app, tool, planner, or calendar you use so that you’ll see it tomorrow. That way your mind can let it go and you can get some peace.

I added a 4th question inspired by my Full Focus Planner:

  • Write your daily big 3 tasks for tomorrow.  These are the tasks that will move my key projects and goals forward. Writing them will help me start next day with clarity.

I also love what Cal Newport says when he is done with workday shutdown ritual:

Finally — and I’m somewhat embarrassed to admit this — I close down my computer and say the magic phrase: “schedule shutdown, complete.”

Cal Newport

What about you, did any of these steps appeal to you? I highly recommend you consider some ritual to announce you’re done with work and not take its worries with you back home.

Listen to the podcast episode about this in Arabic:

My Workday Shutdown Ritual is how I set boundaries between work life and family life

My Workday Startup Ritual is how I stay laser focused

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My ideal workday startup ritual consists of the following steps:

  1. Arrive to office.
  2. Fill up my water bottle.
  3. Light up my office candle (stays on for an hour).
  4. Read for 5 minutes from a work related book (finished reading “To sell is human” like this, currently reading “The motivation manifesto”).
  5. Scan my annual and quarterly work goals and weekly tasks sheet.
  6. Do the 10-minute check-in as mentioned in the amazing book Start Finishing by answering:
    1. Has anything significant changed between now and the last checkout? The key word here is significant. Some events do change the course of your day. For instance, your kids might get sick and you’ll need to change your plans to be able to take care of them.    
    1. What did you plan for today? This is where you review the plan you made for yourself the day before.
    1. What’s one thing you’re going to start on right now? This step is all about setting the intention to focus on this one thing for your next time block.
  7. Time block my day using my passion planner. I learned this productivity method from Deep Work book, and I believe this is a very important step to keep me focused during the day and mindful of shifts in my schedule and outside interruptions and self-initiated distractions.
  8. Start working on my most important task.
My Workday Startup Ritual is how I stay laser focused

My Morning ritual is how I center myself daily

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When I wake up I have a morning ritual that helps me receive the day with a clear mind and leave the house ready for the day. When I arrive at my office I have a ritual which helps me start my work day fresh and focused. At the end of the workday I have a ritual which helps me leave work knowing I got my most important tasks done and ready for next workday and in the evening I have a ritual which makes sure I end the day ready for tomorrow.

Michael Hyatt helped me understand that rituals are a stack of steps you do in the same sequence every time to signal the start and end of events. Rituals set up the stage and reduce the time and energy spent figuring out next steps and also save our mental energy for more important decisions throughout the day.

He recommends having 4 rituals:

Today I will share with you my ideal morning ritual currently. Note that I said “currently” because I try to revisit and update my rituals every quarter as they normally change with different seasons, like school starting and finishing and so on.

  1. Wake up at 5am, wash up and apply face moisturizer to get ready for makeup later (10 minutes).
  2. Go to kitchen, turn on coffee machine and do pushups for 2 minutes while waiting for water to warm up enough. (5 minutes)
  3. Have warm water with half a spoon of honey plus my turmeric and black pepper pill. (5 minutes).
  4. Go to my home office and meditate (10 minutes).
  5. Get my coffee and read A Course In Miracles textbook (10 minutes).
  6. Write in my journal (15 minutes).
  7. Write in my kids’ one-line journals (5 minutes).
  8. Write in my five minute gratitude journal (5 minutes).
  9. Read The Daily Stoic book and answer the prompt (5 minutes).
  10. Text my early risers groups and send them inspiring words for the day, sometimes done at the beginning of the ritual. (5 minutes)
  11. Walk outside with an audiobook/podcast (20 minutes)
  12. Make Sandwiches and place pre-prepared lunchboxes in bags (5-10 minutes)
  13. Apply makeup (15 minutes)
  14. Get dressed (10 minutes)
  15. Lock doors to leave the house (5 minutes)

This ideal scenario ritual takes 135 minutes which is logical in non-school days. However, if I still wake up at 5am in school days I will be leaving the house too late for school. So in school days I either need to wake up at 4:30am or I need to do the non-negotiable crash version of my ritual which downsizes key steps to 5 minutes which are meditation and reading ACIM. I never tried walking in the morning with schools open so I need to test this step or get walking habit back to evening ritual like before as the days are getting longer now in quarter 1 of the year.

Next post I will share with you my workday sartup ritual. Keep reading.

My Morning ritual is how I center myself daily

Hello February

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Austin Kleon beautifully quoted his friend on twitter saying “We expect too much from January, and not enough from February” and said we need to change this perception. I thought this was so accurate.

This year, however, I’m already expecting a lot from February after I designed January 2021 around quiet reflection and past year review. I’m planning to start working on my goals and implement the insights I had in February. Winter break for kids is going to be over very soon so my morning and evening routines will change with this and the end of online schooling (for now). Let’s all make the best of this lovely short month. Let’s really start walking the talk. As James Clear says in Atomic Habits quote below: Less motion, more action.

When you’re in motion, you’re planning and strategizing and learning. Those are all good things, but they don’t produce a result. Action, on the other hand, is the type of behavior that will deliver an outcome. If I outline twenty ideas for articles I want to write, that’s motion. If I actually sit down and write an article, that’s action. If I search for a better diet plan and read a few books on the topic, that’s motion. If I actually eat a healthy meal, that’s action. Sometimes motion is useful, but it will never produce an outcome by itself. It doesn’t matter how many times you go talk to the personal trainer, That motion will never get you in shape. Only the action of working out will get the result you’re looking to achieve.

– James Clear

Hello February