“I can’t hear myself”.

That’s what my coaching group members said after returning from long vacations with their families.

Vacations are great. Transitioning back home is not always so great. You feel disoriented. You may struggle to settle in and feel homesick already. Your mind is cloudy. You can’t hear yourself think.

Does that happen to you after long vacations or maybe a few sick days?

How do you go about hearing yourself? How do you gain some clarity and perspective? How do you hop back on the daily ordinary merry-go-round of your life?

One way to hear yourself is to talk to your best friend, who is a great listener, and sort out what you’re thinking aloud.

I can’t count the number of times I made small decisions while talking about my confusion to a friend in person or even in a voice note, and this reminds me why coaching is valuable. Isn’t that what coaching is about? Figuring things out for yourself in the presence of your coach? Undoubtedly, a coach’s probing questions are invaluable, but more important are the silence and attention an excellent coach gives. This attention feels so rare in our day-to-day interactions. It is a gift.

I remember when I tried being coached the first time, I was talking and talking, and the coach was keenly listening that I felt weird for not getting interrupted and reaching that far in my thoughts. It felt new, unfamiliar, and good.

Can we be more like that for each other? Can we listen to a dear friend until she feels weirded out by not interrupting her other than to say, “And what else is going on?”

Can we hold back from saying “Me too!” too soon to keep the spotlight on them a little longer?

We don’t need to do that all the time, but we especially need to do that with that friend who is all over the place and needs to hear herself again.

Another way to hear yourself talk is, of course, journaling. Cal Newport, in Digital Minimalism, quotes writer May Sarton, who wrote in Journal of a Solitude about how solitude gave her the space to reconnect with her inner life:

“I am here alone for the first time in weeks, to take up my “real” life again at last. That is what is strange—that friends, even passionate love, are not my real life unless there is time alone in which to explore and to discover what is happening or has happened. Without the interruptions, nourishing and maddening, this life would become arid. Yet I taste it fully only when I am alone.”

This resonated.

When you set time aside to think and write about the good times on your vacation, certain qualities about your family members, or simply do a weekly review, you appreciate the details of your life more. In journaling, you quiet the noise in your head, gain perspective about what works and what doesn’t, and plan changes. After journaling, you use the newfound awareness and implement those changes.

Journaling is one of the best ways to hear yourself and figure out your next move.

Can you hear yourself?

Which way will you try today?