Figuring Out My Why

In a recent podcast interview with me, I was asked why I was doing all this, “this” meaning this blog, my Instagram content and my podcast. Especially that I am still not generating money from it.

To be candid, I have yet to formulate my specific smart why according to Simon Sinek’s methodology in Finding Your Why book. However, I can easily say my reason is to Teach.

“Teach” happened to be my word of the year 2019, which I embodied that year by sharing weekly videos on Instagram about books I read and self development experiments I applied and benefited from and thought worth spreading.

In my previous job, I remember a conversation with my boss asking for her approval to be part of a soft-skills-in-house trainers program and to take 2 days of official leave to give a training program to other fellow employees, with another expert trainer. I told her almost these exact words: “To feel happier in my job, I need to do this training”. I got the approval and did it, and it was great, I felt I was in my element.

A couple of years before that training, I was attending a-soft-skills training myself as first-time team leader and I enjoyed that training so much that I kept answering all the questions enthusiastically, too much so that I can easily remind you of Monica character in friends, “Me, me, me, I know, I know!”. The topics he discussed was all what I love to read and talk about. I was even approached by the trainer later on for an opportunity to work with them. I took one session of TOT (training of the trainers) with them, but things did not work out due to changes happening in their organization. We are still friends to this day.

In my early work years, I volunteered with Injaz, a local non-profit organization to teach various important life skills, such like decision-making and problem-solving, to young public school students. It was such a rewarding experience.
As a kid, of course, I liked using the blackboard my parents installed for us to play teacher with my siblings. They had to oblige as I am their big sister.

You see how the theme of teaching has been around in my life for years?

That’s why I felt thrilled when I recently discovered that my Enneagram type was 5, the totem, and my Sparektype was the Sage, also the one who gets sparked to life by teaching. It was simply a validation of the choices I already made.

The medium of teaching for me evolved from writing on this blog to making videos and then creating my podcast and of course going Live on Instagarm consistently since last year. I feel the most alive when I study a subject and share the knowledge I acquire with others.

In my current job, I created Sales Talk Tuesdays to help new recruits learn from the experience of their seniors to support them in their onboarding, and for me learn more about selling and also teach what I learned about the human behavior that will help and motivate these employees in their daily work.

I create opportunities to live what makes me most alive.

What about you? Did you figure out what brings you to life?

Figuring Out My Why

Hello July

Happy New Month!

Working in a monthly-sales-target environment makes me even more aware of the beginnings and ends of months. Since last year, I got used to resetting myself every month by doing the monthly review exercise in which I reflect on the wins, lessons learned and goals progress during the past month, and also plan for the month ahead by adding important dates on calendar, scheduling some events and online content like my podcast episodes.

Today marks the beginning of a new quarter of the year, which gets me to another whole level of reviews. I love doing the quarterly reviews, and as I concluded before in April, I will take 2 weeks to do it properly and reset my goals for the coming 90 days. This is the way I believe each quarter should start.

Since it’s the mid-year mark too, I may need to re-visit some of the things that inspired me at the beginning of the year like my mantra of the year which is Practice Focused Attention.

Also, July is my birthday month, which means fun ahead, especially that many family members and friends are visiting for the first time in 2 years with the pandemic finally withdrawing.

I used to buy online courses in July that I didn’t finish, and thus developed a limiting belief for a while that “I don’t finish what I start”, only to realize later that it was not about me but the timing of those courses with respect to my life. It was simply not the right season. Therefore, I vowed not to create audacious goals for July anymore and just enjoy the flow of summer and the heightened social life that will be temporary up until most people travel back before schools start.

In order to honor this special month, I made 2 lists, let go list and keep list.

In July I want to let go of…

  • Waking up at 5AM because I will be staying up late most days.
  • Regular posting on Instagram (apart from stories), I will take a break.
  • Digital Rules: I will not apply strict mode when using social media this month. Most of my digital rules became habits anyway, like no Instagram before I leave the house in the morning.

In July I will keep…

  • 15-minute morning meditation.
  • Daily one-sentence journal for my kids (I don’t like to see empty pages).
  • Five-minute gratitude journal.
  • Food journaling (I did not commit well in June).
  • Weekly 5-minute podcast episodes and of course newsletter.
  • Keep writing here at least 5 days a week. (Break in case of traveling only) read the update below

Doing less is a challenge for me. There are many items popping up in my head to add to the Keep List, however those are the only ones I want to track daily/weekly and the compass to a successful July.

Speaking of Doing Less, I might read that awesome book with the same title by Kate Northrup one more time to savor the season.


An Update:

It’s July 7th, and after reading the below email from Leo Babuta I felt this is exactly what I need. Therefore, I changed the point above about writing daily here. I am taking this month off. Anything I post would be a bonus.

I am still in the quarterly/birthday/mid-year reflective mode, plus summer fun family focused mode. Just to keep you in the picture, I am not taking off from everything, I still go to work every day.

See you soon.

Returning to Practices
I mentioned recently that I took the month of June off, and have just come back to work … what that means is restarting my regular routines & practices.

This has me reflecting on the act of re-starting something like a meditation practice, exercise routine, or work routine.

It can be tough for a lot of us when we get derailed and have to re-start. We can feel discouraged, because we have some idea that we should have not stopped or gotten interrupted, that something is wrong with us for not sticking to it (once again).

I say toss out that idea. It’s not so helpful.

Starting again is a part of the process. And the process is never over — you don’t form a habit or do a practice and then forget about it. You have to give it your focus, fully, and then give it your focus again when you get sidetracked. Just like returning to your breath in meditation after you’ve gotten distracted. Again and again, we come back.

Instead of thinking of it as a frustrating task to start again, we might think of it as returning home.

I wish you a continual returning home, for life.
gratefully,

Leo Babauta
Zen Habits

Hello July

Gatherings anxiety

While doing my weekly preview, I noticed that last week was full of gatherings with friends.

That is a sentence I have not uttered in over a year. Life is returning to the way it was before March 2020, and we are appreciating this face to face time more than ever.

With these wonderful changes, I also noticed some old anxieties creeping up on me, like my comfort with my interior design skills, and wanting to upgrade all the furniture in my house at once so that I feel I can have guests over more readily. I also noticed that I am now aware enough to call them “anxieties”, while, before, they used to be sheer dread of visits.

Realizing this, I want to gently remind myself that I don’t need to wow anyone who visits us. I will only work to have our home clean and to feel welcoming and cozy. If I want to change furniture I need to plan it financially as the investment it is, and take my time to do it.

No rush.

No urgency.

I just need to make sure everyone feels comfortable and well taken care of.

Gatherings anxiety

Fire-in-heart-setting Conversations

Have you had a fire-in-heart-setting conversation lately?

This was my experience yesterday when I met 9 members of the Sunrise Winners group I’ve been leading for a while to wake up early and build morning routines that will serve them to win their day. We spent more than 2 hours talking about our morning habits and what’s working for us versus what’s not. We gave each other action points to work on to fine tune our routines or move a goal we were trying to achieve, and we will use the group for accountability. 

The best part about this meetup was having a genuine shared interest; to wake up early to take care of ourselves before taking care of our world, be it a family, school, a career or a side business.  I left the meeting feeling a charge like no other. I told my own accountability partner about it, and she promised me she will often remind me this is one of my favorite activities to elevate my state and that connection with like-minded people pushes me forward.   

This feeling reminded me of this post I wrote before.

I wish you such flames of high energy, dear reader.

Fire-in-heart-setting Conversations

The day I lost my car key

The other day, I lost my car key.

I was leaving for work and waiting for my car to open as usual by having my key in my bag, but it did not because it was not there.

I remembered that I last used it in the evening before to get my lunch leftovers from work to offer the stray cat that visits us every day (I’m that nice, in case you didn’t know). I went back in and checked the house and the corssbody bag I was wearing in the evening- to put my phone in while walking and listening to an audiobook on my Bluetooth headset- with no luck. I looked everywhere, including the trash, where I put away the empty lunch bag. I was late to work by then, so my mother-in-law, who lives downstairs, graciously offered me her car for the day.

Later that day, after we got back home, my husband checked the security cameras for any clues about the key’s whereabouts. They proved I got in the house carrying it in my hand, which was a proud moment for security cameras’ footage being put to good use and all.

Continue reading “The day I lost my car key”
The day I lost my car key

The Key to your happiness

When my husband and I were on the 9-hour flight back from our far east honeymoon, I got tired of watching movies so I decided to listen to an audiobook. It was The Mastery of Love: A Practical Guide to the Art of Relationship by Don Miguel Ruiz. It taught me that when we go into relationships, we usually give the key to our happiness to our new partners: “Here it is, it is now up to you. My happiness and misery are all in your hands.” But, that is the biggest lie we have believed based on the movies we watched and the fairytales we grew up reading. Nothing outside of us holds the key to our happiness. It’s too much of a responsibility, a burden even, to give to anyone.

Can you feel the irony of me learning about this as a new bride? The message was so loud and clear that it made me understand why it was so easy for me to get disappointed by my unrealistic and unmet expectations of what new husbands should and shouldn’t do. It was hard to hear, yet liberating.

The timing, in fact, always amazed me. It could not be any more perfect. This lesson was the wedding gift I needed to integrate as we were about to start our new life together.

The Key to your happiness

Fragrance of the Week

If only we could gather in bottles those high energy elevated feelings of times when we are at our best, to spray some when we need them in tougher times, wouldn’t that be great?

Or, we could examine the components of our high energy state by asking what’s happening inside us and around us.

Here are the notes of my current fragrance:

  • The weather is warm and the sky is clear (I can’t control that).
  • I have just had beauty appointments for my hair and nails (I can control that, I have them monthly).
  • I have had a nice tan after a short pool-side vacation (with work and school’s commitments I can control that just a little).
  • I am in a good place hormonally, in the spring season of my period cycle (I can’t control that but I can keep having healthy seeds that regulate my hormones).
  • I am listening to amazing upbeat songs (I can control that).
  • I am working on something I love which makes me excited to come to work (I can control that).
  • I have shorter working hours during this month of Ramadan (A temporary condition that I am enjoying, and hope to control more in the future).
  • I am eating healthy food (I can control that).
  • I am doing my 4 rituals most days (I can control that).
  • I am anticipating official holidays to celebrate Easter and Eid (I can’t control that, but maybe I can get prepared for other upcoming official holidays and scatter more off days throughout the year).
  • I am reading and writing daily (I can control that).
  • I am having healthy digital habits overall (I can control that).
  • I am reading my affirmations almost daily (I can control that).
  • I am not taking myself too seriously and laughing more with my friends (I can control that).

Next time I want to feel this way I just need to look at what I can control out of this list and make it happen.

What is on your list?

Fragrance of the Week

Weekend Plans

I imagined this Saturday going a whole different way but a spontaneous family outing idea changed that.

You see, spontaneity is something that still doesn’t come naturally to me. I love to know how my days would look like, especially weekends.

Here in Jordan, we still have complete lock-downs on Fridays (the first day of the weekend) and the weather was too cold last weekend, so saying no to this outing would have meant skipping 2 weekends in a row.

Moreover, creating family memories with my 2 kids is very important to me in my big picture goals. Being lighthearted, easy-going and fun is something I’d also like them to remember about me, therefore I said yes and went along for the ride.

Past me would have stayed home because that was the plan. If I was physically tired I still would have stayed home. In the future I still want to plan weekends ahead of time. Luckily, today I had the energy to both remember my goals and act on them when the chance presented itself.

I am glad I did.

Weekend Plans

Digital Habits-April 2021

We’re almost halfway through the month and I have not set my new digital rules yet! These rules are based on my performance and pitfalls of last month.

  1. Every night I will block Instagram via strict mode option on Appblock for Andorid to protect my morning routine. I can use it after, for 10 minutes to post stuff I already created/captured. Morning inspiration is part of what I like to do especially promoting waking up early.
  2. I will only check Instagram after kids go to bed. I still check it at 8:30pm most days but what happens is that kids are sometimes still not asleep by then, and I get so excited to reply and engage that their bedtime drags even more.
  3. I will recommit to Instagram’s 1-hour limit.
  4. If I have an important conversation going in DMs, I either apologize and say I’d respond later or take it to web version on my laptop.
  5. I will block Gmail web version completely on my phone.

I will report back here at the beginning of May and fine-tune where necessary.

P.S: Add your email below to start receiving my blog posts in your inbox.

Digital Habits-April 2021

Kind Reminders

“Stress is caused by being here but wanting to be there.”-Eckhart Tolle

I think this is the kind of quote the describes many of my feelings lately, and our human condition in general.

When I am with my kids, I want to be working. When I am working, I want to be with my kids. When I am creating content I want to make progress on the online workshop I paid for, when I do the workshop assignments I feel I need to create content.

I want to speak kindly to myself so I am writing this post to remind me and also you dear reader:

  • You did super well so far considering all the circumstances.
  • There is no rush.
  • You are exactly where you need to be.
  • You will figure it out.
  • You are not lazy.
  • You are doing your best.
  • Your deadlines are great but remember you made up most of them.
  • You will get there.
  • It’s creatively wonderful to rest.
  • More strolling, less scrolling (Dani Dipiro)
Kind Reminders