Whenever my friend feels the Fear Of Missing Out on yet another virtual session about an interesting topic for her usually, she calms herself down by saying to herself:
“It’s ok to not attend this time, you will be able to retrieve the information when you do need it. It would still exist.”
I liked her self-talk a lot and plan to use it next time I choose to skip a virtual event just because I don’t feel like it nor have space for it.
Some of us took this year harder than others and some lost so much. Let’s see them and let them know they don’t have to be alone. Let’s notice those people. Let’s offer whatever help we can.
If you are one of those people, you are not alone.
Please do ask for help. Don’t pretend to be fine when you are not. Asking for help is not weakness. It’s the responsible thing to do for you and for the sake of everyone who cares about you.
Let’s help and ask for help.
In this 2-part podcast interview of the super smart both Ph.D. authors Susan David and Brené Brown, I learned exactly how toxic positivity manifests in our lives when Dr. Susan did this exercise with her host Dr. Brené (excerpted from the transcript):
SD: If I invite you to think about the last couple of months, and I invite you on a blank piece of paper to write an emotion you’ve experienced or that’s been tough on you, what would you put?
BB: Okay. Overwhelmed, scared, fearful, weary, confused.
SD: So, if you write these emotions on a piece of paper in a world that tells you to just be positive, they would say, “Turn the piece of paper over now and write why you’re grateful. Okay, write why you’re happy. Write why you’ve got so much more than other people.” And what that is doing is false forced positivity, and it undermines your resilience, and it undermines your emotional agility.
Mind. Blown.
I encourage you to listen to both parts of the episode and enjoy this wonderful emotional intelligence course like I did. We need to hear all of this now more than ever for our mental health and wellbeing and to help those around us.
As for me, I will go read Susan’s book “Emotional Agility” one more time. Highly recommended.
Are you really? I still need to practice some self-constraint when hearing adults complaining to me of being bored.
With all the resources of learning, connection and entertainment we have, maybe you need to dig a little deeper, and I can safely assume you have access to those resources if you are reading this, unlike many other people in this world who still don’t.
So let’s dig deeper: Could you be jumping to labeling your emotion way too fast? Could it be loneliness? Could the feeling be missing face-to- face in-person non-screen connection in the pandemic? Could it be nostalgia? Could it be doing something you don’t love at work or home? Could it be tiredness, sleepiness or low energy?
What you need to hear about this word is the hint of victimhood it conveys. Please save me! is the subtitle. Let me ask you this: Do you need to be saved? Who is the hero you are waiting for? Why are you giving up responsibility of your feelings and mood like that?
Continue reading “Bored?”Maybe you did not sleep well, maybe you did not sleep enough, maybe as a woman, it’s your hormones and you are in your winter, which I believe is a time you need to be totally resting, but you still need to show up for life. Maybe you are anxious about an upcoming meeting or a work load that needs to get done this week.
So what should you do? How do you keep this energy form ruining your day, week and being picked up by people around you? Energy is contagious after all.
Continue reading “Woke Up On The Wrong Side Of The Bed?”