This morning, I listened to a summary of one my favorite books on relationships on Blinkist: The Mastery of Love: A Practical Guide to the Art of Relationship by don Miguel Ruiz. As I did, memories came rushing back, of a 10-year younger me on a 9-hour flight back home after the honeymoon, when I found this book on audio in the educational section of that tiny plane screen, and having watched a movie or two already, I started listening to it. 

I couldn’t miss the irony and the serendpity of listening to it as a bride, because this book told me that that my happiness was not in his hands, my oblivious sweet groom by my side. Can you imagine that? I found out, as we were about to start a new life together, that marrying my hudband did not mean giving him the responsibility of my happiness or its keys. No one can take such an essential role but me. 

I remember feeling a bit shocked because I was well on my way on the self-development track; however, the author presented the idea so eloquently that I genuinely got it for the first time. 

A few days later, I vividly remember cleaning and decorating my new home while continuing to listen to this book after I found it online. Its radical ideas impacted me significantly, although it took some time to believe them.

Own your happiness, my friend. You even become more attractive when you do. It is your responsibility. Your partner’s happiness is their responsibility. You come together to share your happiness, not create it.

That’s a relationship secret I wish more people would find out. 

Happy V-day!

Note: after finishing writing this post I felt it was too familiar, only to find I wrote a very simliar (better?) post about this story 9 months ago. Alas, my writing for the day is done so I am posting anway, and I am sure someone here needs to hear it today!