Self-awareness

Compared to last year

Bardees, , Leave a comment

During my weekly preview call with my accountability partner last week, I got a huge insight that I kept reflecting on since then, and wanted to share with you here.

Keen as always, she noticed that I had a pattern lately in the way I talked, so she was kind enough to hold up the mirror for me to see it. It was the comparison trap again, this time with my 2020 self.

The year 2020 was indeed a big year for me. I had the luxury of time, especially during quarantine, which helped me get goals moving forward like launching my podcast and The Power of Now video series, in addition to decluttering my home among other achievements. In our recent calls, I kept repeating the sentence: “Compared to last year, I felt happier, things were more exciting, I did more…etc.”

She gently asked me to notice this and to remind myself that every year comes with its own elements. It is not fair to myself to overlook the consistent and hard efforts I’ve been putting forth this year. Moreover, the exposure I am lucky to have this year is way bigger than last year’s.

Yes, we do compare ourselves to others and most times it doesn’t feel great, but we can be really hard on ourselves when we compare our current selves to our past selves who lived different seasons which we may or may not live again.  

Another note we discussed was that perhaps starting things is more exciting than keeping at them, and that’s where discipline and remembering our why comes in. I also need to ask myself “How can I bring joy to this moment?” more often and act on the answer, and definitely pat myself on the back kindly saying: “Well done, Bardees, you have come a long way”.

Say it to yourself please: “Well done, (your name) you have come a long way.”

Happy Back-to-School Season by the way.

Compared to last year

Keep the spotlight shining on them

Bardees, 1 Comment

I notice myself flourishing in the presence of some people. I make my best jokes, I feel light, I feel at ease, I feel understood, I feel at my best. I can count the number of those people on my hands. They are rare.

The question is, how can I be like this for others?

I remember an exercise we did a few years a go with a mentor where we were requested to practice listening more to the people in our lives. Whenever they struck up a conversation. We needed to listen attentively, hold back from switching the subject, and notice our urge to interrupt and talk about ourselves. If it’s the right time and place, we also needed to offer the space for them to continue their thought process, with as little probing as possible, until they figure out what they needed to do next all by themselves.

Being very similar to the exercise I mentioned in this post, it was such a hard experience to implement.

Try it and see firsthand the insights that will reveal themselves to you. Simply witnessing the urge to take the microphone and be under the spotlight is something totally worth catching.

If you get asked, answer shortly and then kick the ball back into their court. Make them the guru not you. Wonder what they could teach you. Listen with the purpose of learning something new about them and their worldview and maybe a useful fact or two. Be open and curious. Trust me, they will feel it and open up to you. They will feel you not rushing them so you’d take your turn to speak. For example, If my conversation partner tells me they are starting to wake up early and share their routine, I need to resist the urge to tell them I’ve been doing that since 2016 and have a whole thing around this habit.

It’s been a while since I practiced this, so it’s time I activated my listening muscle again. I think it grew weaker lately. Join me and let me know how it goes with you.

Keep the spotlight shining on them.

Keep the spotlight shining on them

Gatherings anxiety

BardeesLeave a comment

While doing my weekly preview, I noticed that last week was full of gatherings with friends.

That is a sentence I have not uttered in over a year. Life is returning to the way it was before March 2020, and we are appreciating this face to face time more than ever.

With these wonderful changes, I also noticed some old anxieties creeping up on me, like my comfort with my interior design skills, and wanting to upgrade all the furniture in my house at once so that I feel I can have guests over more readily. I also noticed that I am now aware enough to call them “anxieties”, while, before, they used to be sheer dread of visits.

Realizing this, I want to gently remind myself that I don’t need to wow anyone who visits us. I will only work to have our home clean and to feel welcoming and cozy. If I want to change furniture I need to plan it financially as the investment it is, and take my time to do it.

No rush.

No urgency.

I just need to make sure everyone feels comfortable and well taken care of.

Gatherings anxiety

We are getting better

Bardees, , , Leave a comment

My bedtime reading is usually spiritual. I’m loving my recent selection so much, it’s a book called “Help, Thanks, Wow: The Three Essential Prayers” by Anne Lamott.

I’m sharing with you a quote I read last night that perfectly aligns with the blog post I wrote in the morning.

“I pray not to be such a whiny, self-obsessed baby, and give thanks that I am not quite as bad as I used to be (talk about miracles). Then something comes up, and I overreact and blame and sulk, and it feels like I haven’t made any progress at all. But it turns out I’m less of a brat than before, and I hit the reset button much sooner, shake it off and get my sense of humor back. That we and those we love have lightened up over the years is one of the most astonishing sights we will ever witness.“

I feel the same. We are becoming more resilient, we are bouncing back faster after failure. This makes me hopeful and more committed to all my good daily habits.

Let’s keep waking up early, meditating, journaling and reading. Let’s keep praying and moving our bodies. Let’s keep reading our affirmations and visualizing our success.

We are getting better.

We are getting better

How helpful are your comments?

Bardees, Leave a comment

The other day, I noticed I was being negative when I complained to others and in my head about someone being late to a dinner gathering. The complaining went something like this, “Where are they? Why aren’t they here yet? They usually arrive early, why so late this time (when I am so hungry?)”. I remembered that being hungry usually got me edgy. Therefore, I decided to get some food in me, so I would be more pleasant for the rest of the evening. It worked.

That’s what happens when our self-awareness expands. We become more sensitive about how we behave and catch ourselves early when we act negatively. We notice that unhelpful comments we make left and right are probably polluting the space we share with other people.

Let’s think before we speak and take ownership of how we feel without whining to have our owns issues magically fixed by others, just like we did when we were kids.

We are adults now.

How helpful are your comments?