When my husband and I were on the 9-hour flight back from our far east honeymoon, I got tired of watching movies so I decided to listen to an audiobook. It was The Mastery of Love: A Practical Guide to the Art of Relationship by Don Miguel Ruiz. It taught me that when we go into relationships, we usually give the key to our happiness to our new partners: “Here it is, it is now up to you. My happiness and misery are all in your hands.” But, that is the biggest lie we have believed based on the movies we watched and the fairytales we grew up reading. Nothing outside of us holds the key to our happiness. It’s too much of a responsibility, a burden even, to give to anyone.

Can you feel the irony of me learning about this as a new bride? The message was so loud and clear that it made me understand why it was so easy for me to get disappointed by my unrealistic and unmet expectations of what new husbands should and shouldn’t do. It was hard to hear, yet liberating.

The timing, in fact, always amazed me. It could not be any more perfect. This lesson was the wedding gift I needed to integrate as we were about to start our new life together.