Acceptance

โ€‹I’ve always been the kind of person who monitors one’s self. I’ve always paid attention to my habits and tracked some of them; especially  social media consumption. I’ve had rules when and what to check and for how long per day.

Lately, however, I’ve started to realize that being able to check social media is a kind of true luxury. It’ a sign that I did indeed have moments to catch my breath between various tasks. 

Not anymore. I hardly check my favorite social channels and I’m always feeling late to the party. This is not so bad. But again, it’s one of many signs that things have changed.

Getting back to work after my maternity leave this time was a routine shock that I’m still recovering from.  
I’m still navigating the waters of being a full time working mum with 2 kids now-one of which is a very strong-willed toddler who’s still potty training-and a home to look after that should feel like a sanctuary but far from it in the messy reality.
This post is not to complain. I fully realize how blessed I am. I’m especially grateful to the support we’re getting from both our families. It’s  beyond generous. I honestly can’t imagine what we would have done without them.  
I admit I’m also human, having all these mixed feelings is very normal and common. This is a new territory that needs time to settle in. If settling ever happens.
This post is in fact one way to accept and embrace the life I’ve already chosen for myself.
This rings true to what a wise person told me: “You need to let go of the old Bardees and find a way to love and make peace with the new one”.
And to all who share my experience in their own lives I say: Less reminiscence. More acceptance. This is how it is. So how will you handle it?  It’s up to you.  
Me?  I’ll find the best version of myself and remind myself that things change fast, and in the bigger picture, this is just a very temporary phase that I will for sure miss. 

Acceptance

5 thoughts on “Acceptance

  1. Being cognizant of one’s self. That is wonderful “thing” indeed ๐Ÿ™‚

    A balance is not what I personally thought of to be; its existence I mean. It is such a fluid state that integrates so many primary elements that makes capturing the essence itself a mystery! You can be balanced in a sense but unbalanced at the same (or very very shortly afterwards) time. It is that duality of it that makes it peculiar.

    Embrace reality without dismissing the virtue of planning ahead (is that an element of balance or a consequence of it, I DO NOT KNOW!) ๐Ÿ˜€ but I know it is worth it.

    * You shall miss it AND learn from it
    ** “If settling ever happens” it doesn’t,,,,opppps! lol – you craft it actually, one really does!
    *** It takes a real willpower to be out of the FoMO trap! Good for you ๐Ÿ™‚

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  2. Haitham Al-Sheeshany says:

    Being cognizant of oneโ€™s self. That is wonderful โ€œthingโ€ indeed:)

    A balance is not what I personally thought of to be; its existence I mean. It is such a fluid state that integrates so many primary elements that makes capturing the essence itself a mystery! You can be balanced in a sense but unbalanced at the same (or very very shortly afterwards) time. It is that duality of it that makes it peculiar.

    Embrace reality without dismissing the virtue of planning ahead (is that an element of balance or a consequence of it, I DO NOT KNOW!)๐Ÿ˜€ but I know it is worth it.

    * You shall miss it AND learn from it
    ** โ€œIf settling ever happensโ€ it doesnโ€™t,,,,opppps! lol โ€“ you craft it actually, one really does!
    *** It takes a real willpower to be out of the FoMO trap! Good for you:)

    Like

    1. Dear Haitham,

      I’ve meaning to write back since I read your comment but haven’t managed it. Loved the new word you used “cognizant”.
      I enjoyed how described “balance”. And I agree, it’s so ephemeral. Maybe it’s not real ๐Ÿ™‚
      I will take your advice to heart: embrace reality without dismissing the importance of planning.

      Sometimes I’m too busy to plan which I regret afterwards. I love to plan.

      After I wrote this post, I felt better about my new situation and negative narratives I told myself are gradually disappearing.
      It’s about minimizing expectations in this phase and being grateful if I get the chance to do something purely self-indulgent.
      There’s a lot to work on about the discoveries I’m having about myself during this period, aka parenting a toddler. I hope to learn and not give up after mischief.

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      1. Haitham Al-Sheeshany says:

        You will learn, believe you will ๐Ÿ™‚

        I am 100% with you on the “After I wrote this post, I felt better …”, such a therapy that we sort of underestimate!

        Happy balancy planningy (okay, I need to stop) ๐Ÿ˜€

        Like

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